Before I Start, I'm Giving Up

I have decided that I am giving up big time this year! I mean, really just letting go. You might say, didn’t we do that last year? Wasn’t that what 2020 was all about? Actually, no, not for me. While we might have spent more time in our pajamas than we’d ever dreamed possible, that is not the giving up that I’m talking about.

In my experience of 2020, there was a lot of holding onto things that were outside of my control. Let’s see: a worldwide pandemic, yep, sounds like something that I could stress out about enough into oblivion! Does that sound familiar or is that just me?

While I did my best to distance myself from negativity, it was everywhere. There’s no need to elaborate, we were all there. But in 2021 I’m giving up on the negative thinking I feasted on in 2020. I don’t want this year to be like the last, so I’m controlling what I can by actively choosing positivity and patience over negativity and worry in 2021!

Positivity is a practice.

It’s not a personality type that people are born with. It fights against our natural impulses: like yoga or healthy eating, no one starts out wanting to do that! Ok, maybe some people do but we’re not talking about them right now. We’re talking about me! But after making healthy practices your “normal” you begin to enjoy the way it makes you feel and so it becomes a regular part of your life.

If positivity is a practice, negativity must be also.

I am definitely not made of sunshine and rainbows. I inherently gravitate toward negative thinking. I would have called myself a realist, but I actually have been a pessimist: bringing down not only myself but everyone around me. When I encountered a glass-half-full person, I was annoyed by their positivity. I thought they weren’t realistic or serious enough. I was wrong! And because of my flawed mindset, I caused harm to my mental health and to the health of my relationships.

This is what practicing negative thinking has done for me:

- Allowed worry, hopelessness, and disappointment to dominate my thoughts and actions (or inactions).

- Set my focus on unknown tomorrows and prevented me from enjoying the present.

- Disrupted my relationships and discouraged new friendships.

- Prevented me from celebrating the good in my life and in other's lives.

- Magnified my insecurities by making them “truth” instead of just “thoughts.”

- Over-thinking that caused me t0 be constantly distracted.

- Caused me to disqualify myself for every good thing.

- Led me to live a mostly unhappy and unsatisfied life.

I am not a professional at this and have already failed countless times to keep negative thoughts at bay. Again, it’s a practice and I am practicing! There has been a mindset shift for sure. In the few weeks I have pursued my goal for 2021, positive thinking has given me the confidence and mental clarity to finally go after the career in writing that I have always wanted. Seriously!

This is what practicing positive thinking has done for me:

- Allows me to pursue the career I always dreamed of!

- Gives me the ability to focus on my day, rather than constantly dwell on unknown tomorrows.

- Allows me to focus on my relationships and begin new relationships!

- Gives me a reason to celebrate the good all the time, even when things aren’t perfect.

- Allows me to love myself: I can now dismiss my insecurities as negative thoughts and not truths!

- Gives me the confidence I need to embrace new challenges.

- Helps me to feel generally happier and less anxious.

However, it is important to note...

This is what positive thinking can’t do:

- Cure anxiety

- Eliminate bad days

- Make your problems go away

Remember, positive thinking is not a cure or solution. It’s a healthy habit and practice that leads to a happier life overall.

Here are examples of how I have practically put positivity into practice in my own life so far!

- Decide that I’m going to have a good day before it has even started.

- Try to focus only on what I can control and not on what is outside of my control.

- Combat negative thoughts with positive ones.

- Write daily affirmations and say them out loud as often as possible.

- Complain less and celebrate the good stuff more!

- Surround myself with positive people. Set boundaries in my relationships with negative people.

Do you resonate with my goals for 2021?

Start today by deciding “I’m going to have a good day today!” And remember that you always have the opportunity to try again tomorrow.