Be that red sock in a white wash

I’m sure this is a myth as it’s not happened to me – even when I tried to dye my clothing pink because why is it bad to have pink clothing? – but it makes for a good title.

Red, as a colour, is often used to represent danger or caution and anger or violence, all negative but it can also represent love and passion and power, all of these things require a heightened sense of awareness. If we are to focus on the negative connotations that this colour brings to mind, fear flows through all of them.

Fear leads, I would say, almost everyone at some point in their life. It could be fear of a certain situation like meeting new people, it could be a fear or a phobia of spiders and snakes, it could be a fear of change or the unknown like moving location or getting a new job. Fear steers us one way over another and fear can, and does, hold us back but I’m here to ask you to challenge that idea.

Fear is of course natural. We don’t have a nervous system running through your body for nothing – you need to know if something is hot (like the red, hot tap) or if you shouldn’t crossover from safe to danger (like the red light at a traffic lights) or if something is harmful to you (the colour of your blood tells you something is wrong) but not everything is to fear.

If history tells us anything, it is that people are fearful of the unknown. This is of course a broad subject as you could relate that to anything, including sensitive matters that I would rather not bring in your forefront today but the fear of the unknown is also natural. Have you ever not applied for a job because you don’t think you will get it or because you someone you know and love is going for it and you think they will get it? Have you ever not asked the person you fancy out because you don’t think you’re good enough for them and what if they say no? Have you ever fell back and not allowed yourself to be your authentic self because you are afraid of what other people might think of you or say about you? Fear. Fear of rejection, of the unknown, of the ‘what if’

Recently I have learnt to grab that fear and throw it out the window. Recently I have not allowed myself to be consumed by the unknown and the fear and honestly, it’s a great feeling! I would encourage you to do the same if you can. This process has been a long time coming but when it happened it was so freeing and something I would love other people to feel and so here’s how I did it, in brief.

Think of yourself. I love to think that I think about myself first but I do often think about my loved ones first and then me. This is fine and lovely that you feel that way but before your close your mind on a situation, think to yourself ‘what about me?’ Is this good for me, do I benefit from this, what do I get out of it? It’s said that no act of kindness is truly selfless because we all get a good feeling from doing something nice for someone else and why shouldn’t we? Why shouldn’t you get something out of whatever you’re doing? You are worthy and deserved of that feeling.

Remind yourself of your goal. Everyone has a goal that they would love to achieve in their life, no matter how big or small it is. It might be to get on the property ladder or have a child or to travel or to build a business or find someone to love or get a dog or even just get to certain age. Your goal can be simple but if you have a goal, you should put things in action to get that. If you want something, go get it! Don’t wait for something to happen to get there, analyse what you want and how you are going to get there and set plans in action. Do. Don’t wait. Actions speak louder than words and you can tell yourself you are going to do something until you’re sick of hearing yourself, until you do it, you are not going to get that satisfaction. Films would be boring if the main characters didn’t have a passion to achieve what the wanted. Life is always going to throw shit your way, you don’t have to deal with it and accept it – you can grab it and throw it back and find your calling.

Listen. To yourself, to your body, to your mind. To your surroundings and people around you, both loved ones and others. Listen not only with your ears but with eyes and hands too. Be connected with your environment both physically and mental and find your place. Remember your worth and value. You can be an extrovert but also an introvert. You can do both good and bad things. You can change your mind. Don’t put yourself in a box, listen and find your own way.

You are worthy.

Don’t be afraid.

Be you.

Be the red sock in the white wash. Inject that fear into your life and make those things that were once white, pink. That red sock, that fear, isn’t to control you but release you, altering your favourite white T-shirt that you always wear, that you are comfortable with to have an off white / off red mix that is different, is new, but isn’t it exciting?

Switch it up. You’re only holding yourself back if you allow fear to put a barrier up and stop you moving forward and who put that fear there? You. The fear might come from others telling you to fear it but it’s you that has accepted that and take in on as an idea.

This is of course is easier said than done, and for someone who has longed to have no fear for a while now, it has been harder than I expected but I can’t tell you how great it feels to no longer have that fear. If you want to break free, try to do something about it. You are in control.

I believe in you.