amberrose.

For myself, and many others I have spoken to, 2020 has been a year of many new ideas looked-at in the right perspective. I run through the forest, and I breeze past the trees, looking for something to fill my deepest longings, to create meaning in a purposeless-driven world, where purpose has become only about the paycheck. "Now, hand me your heart."

"What!"

"Now, now, ALL of it, I want to heal you up."

"I'll try..."

CAPTIVATED!

Becoming captivated by the moment... stopping my ENTIRE world to focus on ONE or TWO "topics of interest" for myself to immerse myself in, and hopefully create more MEANING within my life.

"Whatever the next thing you do is, DO IT, but for the first minute do it with your ABSOLUTE, undivided attention... continue." I jot this down in my journal. DAY ONE: BECOME COMPLETE SAVAGE, no excuses. I shut off any distractions for a meditative moment whenever necessary, not watching as the clock swings by and time passes me by.. Rather I am 100% savage on becoming what I desire to change within me, as I clutch my fist tightly and imagine the dreams I've been destined with. I get the task done!! ((reference quote-- I did it for over several hours instead of one minute ... end quote.))

2020 has been the year of FORCED family/friend/groups online interaction man!

An Attitude of gratitude is what mankind MUST have. As this year has been upon us, we have

had

that

choice.

ANOTHER DAY: SAVAGE. I have decided to make my v.i.s.i.b.l.e actions more SAVAGE today. Like Constantine, Brave Heart, King David, M.L.K,... I am making my entrance in this world known, and known to myself if not anyone else is cheering me on. I am my biggest fan. I am DONE being my own worst enemy, working against myself everyday rather than MAKING myself greater everyday. I wish all of us believed in ourselves that way, 2020 has taught me this very thing!

Life is life chess or life is like checkers. Life played like checkers is easy and manageable. Life played like chess is not always. In chess we must think before making a choice carefully, in checkers we think more basic. So, basically, LOL, I am saying if we want a purpose driven life then playing life by O.U.R rules to live and let be what our Higher Power has destined to be for us individually in this worlds puzzle will create HOPE and JOY! THATS another thing I am gatetful for ... C.H.O.O.S.I.N.G hope and joy in this crazy fallen world in 2020. I have chosen to bless and give and not take, I have chosen to download a bunch of freakin AWESOME apps to encourage others on that are created as social platforms for people to interact online, I have chosen to meditate and distance myself from ALL distractions and negative energy. THAT'S why I am thankful...I am thankful because I can think without all that NOISE the media has been force feeding us since we were old enough to watch TV. I am thankful I CHOSE self-control to find a meaning to live for in 2020.

Humans are known to not be controlled easily. As we have already dominated every entire species on earth. WE have the power to do what animals cannot as far as we know ... and that is CHOICE. Now personally, I believe in the beauty of hope. HOPE without further ACTION is DEAD.

"Your a badass, you can do this, nothing is impossible for you, you are the greatest, your the first person that matters in your life, your strong," Are some of the words I would scream at myself in the mirror and mentally to REPLACE the bad thoughts. "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT" when the bad vibes come rollin' up. G>R>A>T>I>T>U>D>E is sick. Makes life enjoyable. AYE! BOTTOMS UP!!!

Online business, sell homemade stuff, music, create more designs for clothes, become a carpenter, work seasonally for $$, be my own personal boss/manager, DO IT (NIKE). SO MANY OPTIONS. I am a lazy pile if I cant eventually make up my mind. There's an ENDLESS supply of gratitude when I'm thinking correctly. I have no doubt in my mind I could've been born in a third world country, and at this moment be starving with my children. Awful. But I'm not. "AMERICA!" Eh, I guess I'm a slight pessimist. I wish all of our world leaders desired to help end world starvation, or at least START by ending WAR. Waste... what a waste to our humanity war is ... as it always has been. "PSH!" ((credits to Ed Bassmaster YOUTUBE))

Attitude of gratitude. That's a good cup to drink.

WHAT IS THERE NOT TO BE GRATEFUL FOR?!

I can do A.N.Y.T.H.IN.G (almost) in the palm of my hands! My phone can make me a musician, alot of money, music videos, professional photos, online business, buy/sell/trade, E.N.D.L.E.S.S OPPORTUNITIES. When considering this fact, and my heart got warmer as my attitude drifted into optimistic and my brain got stronger... I began considering all the many BEAUTIFUL options I had for creating my future/my way ALL day.

"I spy with my eye something blue .... I spy with my eye something red .... I spy with my eye something square..."

Games like "I SPY," and just meaningful and personable interactions with my fellow comrades has brought JOY in the moments I am in daily.

Clawing and scratching my way upwards out of the dumps and the personal dumpster I had thrown myself in from wasted energy in my life, I watched like a birds-eye view how I had allowed the negativity in America cause me stress this year. THIS time, I took CONTROL over myself for the very first time in my 25 years on earth, each day trying to find a meaning for my life that has NOTHING to do with personal ego or pride or the entertainment industry the TV always has thrown in my naive face.

I have been a homeless drug addict , I have been abused, I have been tormented , I have been lied to , I have been hit , I have been laughed at , I have been picked last , I have put others before my own needs , I have gained hope and love , I have lost hope and love , I have experienced many many things , and I am ALWAYS hopeful now. P.E.R.I.O.D.