Allow. People. To. Change.

When you’re constantly fighting for your voice to be heard you almost don’t know how to react when it is. When all the protesting, social media posting, petition signing and fighting finally brings about the reaction you were so desperately seeking you freeze.

Well what do we do now?

In the past few years the amount of causes surrounding equality that we as a people have been fighting for has grown exponentially. It’s encouraging. People want change. People want equality. People are realizing that justice for all has never really been a motto that’s been practiced in this country and those revelations are huge. But with this ever growing number of activists and social justice warriors is an ever growing number of people who also cannot forget the past.

I’ve always believed that in order to move forward and grow we have to address the past so we don’t make those same mistakes again, but the problem is people who hold on to the pasts of others, don’t allow them to change. There is never any grace. I talk about grace a lot because of my beliefs. But also because I firmly believe that people can grow and change. When you see someone putting in effort, acknowledge it. When you see someone doing the work, acknowledge it. When you see someone willing to learn from their past, acknowledge it. And simply allow them to change.

How productive is it to hold someone’s past views against them when their current trajectory is the opposite of who they used to be?

When you want people to change, give them a chance to otherwise your fights, and protests and petitions and voices will fall on deaf ears.

How many of you want to be judged based on your past decisions?

How many of you believe you don’t deserve the chance the change and evolve?

Because of this, it seems like every day we wake up to a new person trending on Twitter because of a new unforgivable crime they've committed. Granted, most of the time these crimes are based on a select group of people being offended by a choice this person made 10 years ago, and one hashtag from a person with 100k followers sends the world ablaze. But don't get me wrong, I do believe that there is a list of unforgivable offenses that people can commit at any given time in their life that will come back to bite them in the butt and there's nothing that can save them. However, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the things that can be explained or forgiven. I fully understand everyone has their limits and it's not my place to say what people should be offended or upset by. But I do know this: We as a society, have to stop holding people’s pasts against them IF THEY ARE WILLING TO CHANGE.

When we ask someone to apologize for something that he or she said or did, I've noticed it's never enough. So what is it that we're looking for? Once an apology is said, it's considered disingenuous; if actions are taken, it's only for publicity; if nothing is said, the person is a coward. When we call people out on their missteps and wrongdoings there is never a resolution in sight... there is only the immediate reaction of anger. There is also never an opportunity to educate and correct, there's only condemnation and ridicule.

Now I'm not saying that canceling someone isn't justified, but I'm always alarmed at how quickly we aren't willing to give people a chance to right their wrongs. It almost feels as though people choose to cancel for the act alone without considering the context of the situations. It's one thing to deduce that someone who has been deemed a sexual predator shouldn't be allowed to work in Hollywood again, but does someone's tweets from 10 years ago deserve the same punishment? Does their career and reputation truly deserve to be over based on some past ignorant mistakes?

So I ask, is cancel culture really effective? If there's no opportunity for the perpetrator to fix his or her behavior, then what's the point? If they've acknowledged their actions, shown remorse and apologized, then what is the goal behind canceling them? We also seem to never look at a person's history to see if it's a pattern or just a really bad mishap. I'm not defending anyone but I'm simply saying, they who are not without sin should cast the first stone. But until then, maybe we should figure out how to cast a little grace instead.