A whole new world.

NOTE: Those suffering from existential crisis: PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

Let it be known, I haven't been alive long. I suppose depending on where you live, how you live and who you know, your definition of 'adulthood' will differ from mine. However, Regardless of circumstance, cultural variance or contact portfolio, I can't help but ask... ...were you scared too? 'cause I am STILL freaking out. Whoever said that being an adult is not easy was OVER-understating the truth.

Before you start thinking 'wooow, look at this privileged she-dog!' allow me to defend myself...

...*silence*...

...OK so maybe I don't have an excuse for that. Hold on though!!! I am not rich by any standard. Yes, I haven't really wanted for anything and I wasn't ever the kind to look out for my own well being because I figured that's what my parents do. (This isn't in any way lessening the 'born with a silver spoon' image, is it? Oh well...) So how then did I come to this stage you may ask.

(Seriously Horatio you can stop swearing at me, I am in a tight spot over this.)

You see... ...I passed out. Of school. That is when the chaos ensued. Also, Why is the system set up like that??? Just plunging children all up in the deep end so suddenly!!! I had absolutely no time to discover anything!!! Not what I like, not what I want, nothing. Yet, I was expected to know what profession I was going to pursue for the rest of my life. I don't know about you; but the rest of my life seems like a fairly long time. A decision was to be made. We couldn't afford a gap year (take THAT Horatio) and neither did I ever want to take one. At the time my idea of success was that of being decisive. One must know what one wants at every point in time. Being fickle was for two people: failures and opulent anuses... So I did the next best thing and went with the flow. By which I mean I just did what others told me to. Which is not always a bad thing Sarah!!! I mean, I have a really well paying job and also security in these troubled times but... I know I don't fit in here. That's a discussion for another time though.

Thankfully, my life experiences have led me to now think differently (about being fickle, considering how that's such a big part of my character). Oh by the way, If you think this monologue is going to end in some deep revelation or some way for you to get out of this funk (should you be sailing in this boat too), you're wrong. This really is a cry for help. While my current state professionally and financially is very good I just feel like there's so much I don't know!!! Like taxes!!! Paying bills??? Having a bank account??? Love??? Who's she???

You know what really gets to me though??? Is that EVERYONE else seems to know EXACTLY what they want to do and EXACTLY what's up with life!!!

Like... Is there a brochure That I missed!?!?!? Is there a club that I'm not a part of?!?!!? Is that why you should have 100% attendence??!?!!

Needless to say, my journey is far from over and by no means have I figured out what I want from life either. Which is why I think this is so fun!!! What do you say partner? shall we have a go at this together?