A Single Mother and the Struggles with Work

Before I became a mother, I didn't think too much about the sexism that I had previously faced in the workplace. I just accepted it. After watching a few powerful films and series about women rising above the system that I feel still seems to de-power women, I started thinking about my own journey.

So here is where my story starts. When I was 17 years old, I started working in an office as a book-keeper. During the summer, my boss asked me to dress ddifferently. Being young I just complied and wore closed that covered my body completely. I know you are probably thinking, what did you wear? Well I was wearing summer dresses. I was 17 afterall. But then I felt like I was suddenly dressing like a 50 year old woman. I felt oppressed that I could not just be myself.

Moving on, at 19 years old I started working weekends at a bar. The position of assistant manager came up and I went for it. I researched, even worked a few nights in another bar to gain ideas to get the job. I had my interview with the manager and luckily I was given the job. For a long time, I thought it was because of my own merit, because I worked hard. The salary I was given was £15,000 a year. One night my boss, when drunk, told me he only gave me the job as I was pretty and had a large chest. Soon after I was given the manager's job and was still on the same salary. By the time the company offered me a raise, I had to ask, I felt undervalued, for I had helped raise the revenue of the bar by 10%. I worked many hours, sometimes 120 a week! At 23 years old, tired of the hours the role took from me. I gave my notice and decided to go travelling.

I spent the next few years working as a dancer in Spain and other countries, where I earned my own money. I felt empowered and life was great again. I moved back to the UK in 2004 and interviewed for some jobs. I went to an interview for a company in the accounts department, the boss told me that I looked like a receptionist, blonde with big boobs. I walked out of that interview. I started working for a large company in 2005, I got the job through an agency and it felt great to work with so many talented minds in the finance department. I learned a lot from these women and a higher position arose where I would be working directly for the company. I was lucky again and got the job. The thing is, even though the role was of a higher status, it was in fact less pay. I ended up doing my job and my old job at the same time. With me, the company got 2 for 1. In 2008 I realised that with about 23 days in lieu, and working so hard for them was not getting me anywhere. So I went back to Spain.

I carried on dancing and travelling for some time. In 2010 I fell pregnant, which obviously meant that dancing wasn't an option at that time. I got a job in a call centre, a fairly easy job, it didn't pay well, but I was on my own and needed work. When I was about 16 weeks pregnant I needed to pee often, if you are a mother you would understand frequent trips to the bathroom was necessary. The bosses noticed and asked me if I had a 'coke' problem. I explained that I was pregnant. That day, they seemed okay about it. But the next day I got a call to say there wasn't enough work and I was no longer needed. Doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened there...