9 Lies You Should Stop Telling Yourself

I judged their work ethic, their inability to focus and be productive, the fact that they didn't have a morning routine, and their relationships.

And because I was spotting so many mistakes in other people's behavior, I thought I was smart. Needless to say, I was making dozens of mistakes myself but failing to be aware of them.

Instead of dealing with my own bullshit, I was lying to myself and focusing on the mistakes of others because that was easier.

However, I soon realized that judging others didn't make me happier, more productive, or "successful."

So I slowly started to look inward and soon realized that I was mostly manipulating myself to feel more comfortable. Instead of facing truths about my own behavior, I was lying to myself because I didn’t want to admit my own mistakes.

"My actions don't matter"

Too many people believe that they don't matter, so they don't even try to make an impact or create value.

The harsh truth is that you're probably not going to change the world, no matter how hard you try. However, you can indeed change many people's lives, one day at a time.

Your words and behavior directly affect those around you.

A short compliment could brighten up someone's day.

Inviting someone for a cup of coffee could help them let go of the stress they're currently facing, even if it's just for a few minutes.

A short phone call could cheer someone up — I experience that every time I call my grandma!

You're having a vast impact on dozens of people just by being alive and engaging with others every single day, so be careful about the energy you put out to the universe because it'll inevitably find its way back to you.

"I'm too late"

We all grew up thinking that we need to hit certain milestones at specific ages: Get your degree in your 20s, get married before you're 30, buy a house as soon as possible, make sure to have kids before you're 40, retire in your 60s,…

But the truth is that there's not just one right way to live life. There's no right or wrong at all.

Marrying your soulmate in your 40s is as beautiful as in your 20s.

Starting your dream business at 55 is as exciting as doing it in your 30s.

Not buying a house and traveling the world instead is pretty dope.

And there's no shame in not wanting to have kids at all.

Most of us would be a whole lot happier if we'd just let go of all these stupid societal expectations and instead focused on taking care of ourselves.

"Nice girls finish last"

I see so many people using this lie to excuse their inappropriate behavior, but the truth is that kindness always wins.

Sure, you might get what you want by being harsh, unfriendly, and a little aggressive, but it won't make you feel good about yourself.

Being friendly and respectful, however, will help you form lasting and meaningful connections, which, to be fair, is a long-term strategy for a genuinely successful and happy life.

No matter what exactly you're aiming to achieve or create, the odds are high that you'll need other people's support on your way to the top. So you're definitely better off by being a kind, caring, respectful, and supportive person yourself.

"I know"

There are two kinds of people: Those who believe they know everything and those who know they don't know everything.

If you belong to the second group, you'll know that learning is a lifelong process and that formal education is just the beginning but by no means the end of our learning process.

Learning new skills and studying diverse subjects helps you expand your perspective and inspires new ideas.

Our world is constantly changing, and if you don't make an effort to stay up to date and sharpen your mind, you'll inevitably be outpaced by those who do.

Being a curious learner will help you make use of unique opportunities and make sense of the experiences you create.

Instead of trying to sound and feel smart, I try to challenge myself to get insights about topics I have no clue about.

I read magazines or watch documentaries that are unrelated to my career or hobbies in order to expand my understanding of the world we're living in.

I talk to people who have different backgrounds and perspectives and try to understand their points of view so I can be critical about the things I always thought to be true.

We all make mistakes, and there's no way to know everything, but we can at least make an effort.

"I can only win or lose"

I always thought that I only had one shot at winning in life: One career, one relationship, one business idea, one perfect apartment, one group of friends,…

Yet, what I learned in the past few years is that you can start from scratch over and over again.

If your job or business sucks, you can change what you do.

If your relationship sucks, you can put an end to it and move on.

If you don't feel comfortable in your apartment, you can move.

Sure, all these things require lots of courage and sometimes also financial resources, but they're possible.

In the moment of failure, you might feel as if your world is falling apart, but as James Altucher writes:

“Life is a series of failures punctuated by brief successes.”

So there's no point in trying to avoid failure. Instead, embrace it as a natural component of life.

"It's easier for *them*"

Wanna know what's easy? Looking at "successful" people and telling yourself that it was easy for them because they are more talented or had more luck than you.

Wanna know what's hard? Seeing the battles those people faced and acknowledging the work they did.

We usually spend too much time idolizing others because they're more skilled, talented, or lucky, but we forget to do the work ourselves.

The truth is that most people aren't more talented than you.

They just found something they care about and practiced — a lot.

The problem is that you only see the final product of their hard work. You don't see the first drafts or the endless repetitions.

But did you know 12 major publishers rejected JK Rowling's first manuscript of Harry Potter?

Or that Walt Disney got fired from his job at Kansas City Star because he "lacked creativity" and had "no good ideas"?

They've been amateurs, too. They just took the leap and invested lots of time and effort into mastering their craft.

The truth is, the more often you pick courage and give it a try, the likelier it is that you'll succeed.

"Money can't buy happiness"

We all spend a massive part of our most productive years working on our careers and trying to make money, yet we lie to ourselves by saying "money doesn't matter," "you can't buy happiness," or "money is the root of all evil."

Yet most people's lives could be significantly easier (and better) if they had more money because money is liberating.

We all have jobs because we need and want money. And whenever possible, we'd say yes to an increase in our income because we know that more money equals more options.

And this isn't even about mindless purchases, luxury items, or being obsessed with expensive vacations or fancy massages.

It's about your day-to-day life.

It's about being able to leave a job that sucks your soul.

It's about being able to take a day off when you don't feel well.

It's about financially supporting your family and spoiling your loved ones.

Money isn't bad or evil. It's just a form of energy that enables you to have lots of different opportunities.

And if used wisely, those opportunities can indeed lead to a better and happier life.

"I don't need to write it down"

Yes, you do.

Your brain is here to generate ideas, not to hold them. And whenever you're trying to keep things in your head, you're depleting your willpower and wasting your energy.

Just write it down instead so you can a) be sure you won't forget it and b) save precious energy and willpower.

"I'll work out tomorrow because it'll be easier"

No, it won't. Just do it today.

And do it again tomorrow.