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6 Tips to Elevate and Effectively Deal with your Ego

How to Connect by keeping Ego in Check

By The Breatharian BloggerPublished 2 years ago 6 min read
6 Tips to Elevate and Effectively Deal with your Ego
Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

What is Ego?

Some say the ego is the part of the self that is concerned with success, power, and prestige.

Others say, ego is a three letter word that has the chance to destroy a twelve letter word called relationship.

Ego has been known as, the self-absorption that ruins the very thing it celebrates.

But is it inherently bad to have an ego?

And, more importantly, can we exist without it?

Ego is often seen as a negative trait, but it doesn't have to be. Ego can be a positive force if it's kept in check.

So how can we keep our egos in check and be less selfish?

The best way to prevent ego from taking over is to be aware of it.

Once you've become aware of it, you can then keep it in check.

Here are a few tips on how to control your ego:

1. Stop Getting Offended

By Afif Kusuma on Unsplash

“Those who are determined to be ‘offended’ will discover a provocation somewhere.” ~Christopher Hitchens

Do you feel the behavior of others is ever a reason to get upset?

What if your ego is working to convince you that the world should be how you want it to be?

If you're looking to keep your ego in check, then you might want to try and stop getting offended.

One of the best books I ever read was “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz.

The second agreement in this book was the most challenging for me. It said: Don’t take anything personally.

Growing up, I witnessed all sorts of arguing in my family.

My parents divorced twice. I witnessed my mother arguing with my father and three more stepfather‘s after that.

When I eventually got into my own relationships, arguments became a natural occurrence. I had no idea the amount of anger that I had stored in my childhood.

I practically took everything personally. Holding onto grudges that served only as a slow form of poison in my heart.

It was years before I learned how to manage my moods. It took a large level of acceptance and understanding.

Ultimately, I had to learn how to forgive. Forgive myself, forgive my partners, and even forgive my parents.

I stopped taking things so personally and realized it’s not about me.

That realization has lead to less complications in my relations. This has gone to produce more positive conversations.

It can be tough to manage your ego, but not taking offense will help you to identify your ego's defense mechanisms.

Ultimately, this will help you to control your ego better and live a more peaceful life.

2. You don’t need to win all the time

“Some things are better than winning.” ~Claire Annette Noland

A book by Dale Carnegie called “How to Win Friends and Influence People” taught me the only way to win an argument.

Would you like to know how?

By not having one. That’s how you “win” an argument.

It taught me that, someone convinced against their will is of the same opinion still.

This means that, when you argue, even if you think you win, you still lose.

The person on the opposite end of the argument may grow a sense of resentment.

Unnecessary rifts have been created between people whose only desire was to be right.

Just imagine, what is the cost of forcing someone to your beliefs against their will?

Letting go of your need to be right is powerful. Even letting people win, when deep down you know they are wrong.

Before arguing, ask yourself:

- Is this a big issue?

- Is this worth my time?

- Will it matter in 5 mins?

- Will it matter in 5 years?

If the answer is “NO”, backdown gracefully and move on.

You can save yourself so much energy and can focus on more important things.

When you don't need to win all the time, you'll be less likely to get wrapped up in your ego.

You'll be more likely to stay humble and see from other people's perspectives.

You'll be more likely to be able to let things go and not get so caught up in the details.

You'll be more likely to be able to enjoy the process and not just the results.

Overall, not needing to win all the time will help you to control your ego.

3. Know when to stop

By Dusan Kipic on Unsplash

“The secret of the enjoyment of pleasure is to know when to stop. Man doesn't learn this secret easily, but to shun pleasure altogether is cowardly avoidance of a difficult job. For we have to learn the art of enjoying things BECAUSE they are impermanent.” ~Alan Watts

Controlling ego is all about knowing when to stop.

If you can learn to know when to stop, you'll be able to better manage your emotions and reactions.

Your Ego will never be satisfied no matter how much you achieve or acquire.

You’ll find yourself in a perpetual state of striving and reaching for a new end goal, making it so you never truly reach your goals.

While it isn’t inherently bad to reach for your full potential, it can feel detrimental when we are directed by our desires.

What is fulfillment if you never feel full?

If there’s always a constant void inside you?

Instead of trying to avoid this void, why not fill it will love for yourself and who you are.

This means turning against the trap of the external, and realizing true fulfillment is always eternal.

4. You are not your reputation or achievements

By De'von wellesley on Unsplash

“Your reputation is what others think of you; your character is what you truly are. Reputations can be manipulated; character can only be developed and maintained.” ~Bohdi Sanders

The less you need to take credit for your accomplishments or have people recognize them, the more you are free to achieve in life.

Achievements and reputation are not the be-all and end-all. They do not define you as a person.

Keeping this in mind will help you to control your ego. Relinquishing mere reputation for the sensation of higher vibrations.

5. Seeking to Be superior

By Jannes Jacobs on Unsplash

“Don’t strive to be superior to others; strive to be better than you were yesterday.” ~Matshona Dhliwayo

Authentic Leadership isn’t about being better than someone else. It’s about being better than you used to be.

Stay focused on your growth, be humble and help others.

You shouldn’t feel inferior but, when you don’t feel superior, you're less likely to have an inflated ego.

If you can reign in your ego in this way, you'll be able to act more humbly and be more open to others.

This will help you in your relationships and interactions with others, as well as in your own personal development.

One of my mentors once told me: if leadership is power, true leadership is empowerment.

This means that, I your empathy will be more empowering to others than your ego.


6. Stop Trying to control

By Cory Bouthillette on Unsplash

“There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” ~Epictetus

The ego tends to want to control and micromanage everything.

Remind yourself and your ego of what is in your control and what is not.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it?

It doesn’t always feel that way.

Your Ego will naturally want to come in your life. It’s like a child in the backseat of your car that wants to drive.

The Ego can either give you crazy drive or drive you crazy.

In order to control your ego, you must first learn to let go of control.

Sounds counterintuitive, right?

Ego thrives on control. It feeds off of the need to be in charge, to be right, to be the center of attention.

If you can learn to let go of your need to control, you will take away its power over you.

Let it enjoy the view from the backseat while you keep your hands on the wheel.

Start by observing your thoughts and emotions. Notice when you are trying to control the situation or the people around you.

Then, let go.

Allow things to happen naturally, without your interference. You may find that the more you let go, the less your ego has a hold on you.

It's inevitable that our work will be out of our hands at some point. There's no use in trying to control everything and everyone – it's impossible.

We can only focus on our own actions and reactions, and hope for the best.

By Abdrahim Oulfakir on Unsplash

“What matters to an active man is to do the right thing; whether the right thing comes to pass should not bother him.” ~Goethe

Being ruled by EGO is like living under the influence of an Earthly Guide Only.

So always do the right thing, learn to let go, and leave the rest to the hands of the Universe.

adviceself helphappiness

About the Creator

The Breatharian Blogger

Here to inspire you on your journey. ✊🏾

Connect with me on IG @jromeshaw

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