6 Life Changing Lessons I Learned Living On A Remote Island For 8 Months

"Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god." ~ Aristotle

In the spring of 2020, I spent 8 months living on a remote, small Nordic island. And in case you're wondering, yes, this was a pandemic-induced event.

The time I spent there was the most transformative experience of my life. When you are entirely alone with your thoughts, emotions, fears, dreams, and desires, it is impossible to hide from yourself. And that's when things start getting interesting.

The idea was simple: return to my roots and create a self-reliant life. And this is what I learned about how to become a better version of yourself.

And live to write about it…

1. The sound of silence is provocative

"Listen to silence. It has so much to say." Rumi.

We're remote. The only way in and out is either via a ferry or a tunnel that is about 2 miles long, under the Barents Sea, that connects us to the mainland. Mainland Norway, in case you're curious. That remoteness lends to a profound silence. A silence that can only be heard and the words that float to the top for me are that the sound of the universe has no beginning.

I'm not trying to be poetic; I merely want to capture the sound of silence in words.

Truth be told, the sound of silence conveys a feeling that words can't express. It makes us stop and think about the present moment.

In the absence of sound, we begin to hear ourselves. A quiet moment gives us space to reflect on our own thoughts and grow closer to ourselves. This is actually cathartic. Cleansing. Pure.

2. Solitude is the most important gift you can give yourself

"One can be instructed in society, one is inspired only in solitude." ~ Gary Mark Gilmore

When I'm alone, that's when I get to know myself better. I always knew this from my times when I was alone, you know, pre-pandemic and in Texas. But even that kind of "alone" was never really alone. There was always someone close by to see and touch.

Not so much now.

In solitude, you can be the person that is hidden from others - the most faithful version of yourself. You can learn new things about yourself and find a part of your personality you couldn't see before.

3. Some people love you unconditionally in this world

"Unconditional love really exists in each of us. It is part of our deep inner being. It is not so much an active emotion as a state of being." - Ram Dass

This is something you may rediscover.

I know I did.

There are indeed people who love you unconditionally: your parents, your siblings, and other relatives. Maybe a BFF from back on the day or yesterday.

When you're alone, the joys of life are simplified to an extreme. There's no one to impress or appease, and it sometimes takes every ounce of your being just to cope. But then you realize that there are a select few, maybe even those you never expected, who love and care for you no matter where you are.

I've talked and Facetimed my mom and dad more in these last 8 months than ever in my entire life.

4. Living alone forces us to take responsibility for our actions

"The price of greatness is responsibility." - Winston Churchill

I can't point to the dog…

I can't blame the neighbor…

I can't cast a sideways glance at a friend…

It's all on me.

Sure I still have goals. Especially around writing and publishing, a big huge part of why I'm here. And now I have nobody to blame for my non-productive moments. I've had to come to grips with the fact that the truth was I've always only had myself to blame.

Solitude simply forced me to face it head-on.

5. The more alone time you spend with yourself, the better your relationships with others will be

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."– Anais Nin

The more time you spend with yourself, the closer you'll get to understanding who you are and what's important to you. You won't need anyone else telling your how to think, be, do, or act. You'll forget why you ever felt a need to impress anyone but yourself. And when you discover that, you'll realize who the most genuine people in your life truly are.

If you're having trouble understanding why relationships in your life are or might be difficult, the problem may be with how much time you spend alone.

Discover you to help create more powerful relationships and bonds.

And finally, perhaps one of the most poignant lessons I learned from solitude.

6. You are not the center of the universe

"…but ready or not, life goes on." ― Sidney Sheldon

I noticed that life did not stop in my absence. My hometown didn't cease the trash pick-up service. My dentist didn't close due to my lack of appointments. My kids didn't take weeks off work to talk about what I might be doing.

None of that happened.

Life went on back home.

Nurses kept nursing…

Radio DJs kept DJ'ing…

The news kept newsing…

Runners kept running…

Life.

Went.

On.

And in a way, this was not only the hardest but also the most profound lesson of them all.

That life goes on in your absence.

More so that you're not the center of the universe and the sun does not rise and set on your schedule.

What does this all mean?

As you can see, sometimes life (and pandemics) throw us a curveball straight out of left field. Some call it the universe; others call them problems. When life's curveballs begin to pile up, it can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's easy to feel like you're alone and that there's no end in sight.

The truth is, it's hard to be alone for a long time. The most important thing is to accept that you're going through something and have faith that it will pass.

Spending so much time in a very remote part of the world, in solitude, was one such "curveball." While I always loved and valued my alone time, I never imagined I would have so much of it for this long.

But in the end, what some might call an intolerable few months, with the right attitude and lens, it turned out to be some of the best moments of my life.

Take some time for yourself and you alone. It doesn't need to be months and months, but I promise that even a weekend of solitude and self-reflection may just change your life.