5 Lies My Perfectionism Tells Me

I am not a liar, but that doesn't stop my own head from telling me lies. Lies that I sometimes believe.

Hello, my name is Maggie, and I'm a perfectionist. I strive to be more than top notch in everything I do and if I don't seem to you like I'm always at the top of my game, than I'm not doing the best I can.

Perfectionism, according to the Merriam Webster dictionary, is "a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable." Fancy words aside, it simply means that you believe that your best isn't good enough (unless it's deemed as perfect by yourself or others).

Believing this (or any of the things on my list below) does not make me, or you, terrible people. It just means that we need to reframe some of our thoughts. By this, I mean that we need to see where these thoughts come from, maybe why we're having them in the first place, and try to view them from a more constructive angle.

Below, I've listed the five main lies that my own perfectionism tells me and what reframing thoughts I'm using to take a second look at these ideas to create a healthier mindset for myself.

1. Just "doing my best" is simply not good enough.

Doing my best is enough. Knowing my own limits and knowing what best I can do each day is even better, because my best can change by the day. I will have good days and bad days, but the key is to keep doing the best I can every day.

2. If the outcome isn't perfect, the project is not worth all the effort I put into it.

This thought discounts how important the learning process is. With each amount of effort I pour into a project, I have the potential to learn something new about myself and my skills. As I learn more, I can get better and my final outcome can be not only complete, but the best it can be.

3. I have to be better than everyone else.

The reality is that someone will always be better than me at whatever skill I'm trying to improve. They reached their current ability through hard work and perseverance, and I shouldn't try to learn a skill only to be the best. The only competition I should have with most skills is myself and improving what special magic of my own that I can bring to the table.

4. My worth is measured by how well I can do "the thing."

I am worthy, just because of who I am, not because what I can do. While improvement and moving forward is important, it's also important to keep in mind that I am enough, with or without my skills.

5. Failure is unacceptable.

Failure is how we grow.

If we constantly strive for perfection, than nothing will ever be complete as we will always be stuck on the process of making our project outcomes perfect. It's important to remember that in many cases, done is better than perfect and our good enough sometimes has to be just that.

The sayings "trust the process" and "enjoy the journey" are popular for a reason, and if we forget to have fun while stopping to smell the roses, then the road to improvement is going to be longer and harder (and, frankly, more awful) than it has to be.

Learning to reframe the lies my own brain tells me is going to be a lifelong journey, but as long as I hold my own truths close, I can kick my perfectionism to the curb most of the time.