5 LESSONS THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

1. NEUTRALITY OF THE BODY

The first of these 5 learnings is the neutrality of the body , which understands that I am more than my body! And I don't need to love everything about myself, every day, much less physically, to be a powerful, empowered, feminist, who values herself .

Because my worth doesn't have to be associated with my beauty and appearance. Because my love for myself doesn't depend on my body, on how I see my body.

The feminism I believe is much more about financial, political, affective emancipation than self-esteem specifically. Also because I don't dream of a world where women feel beautiful , but a world where women are free . And that this freedom and the social place that women occupy do not depend on their appearance .

For me, body neutrality was such a revolutionary knowledge , which changed my relationship with my body so much, my relationship with myself, with my work, with my self-love, that I talk a lot about it here.

Body neutrality helped me understand my body as a house or a tool that allows me to do amazing things . And not because I'm feeling beautiful, but because I'm smart, I'm creative, authentic, I do things, I go after what I want with my heart - which are characteristics that I also value more in others, no only on me.

There are days when I look at myself and I don't necessarily feel beautiful , but I still record video, I record class, I go to the beach, I'm proud of myself, I'm proud of what I do, of what I deliver to the world .

My body has become what allows me to do the things I want, not what stops me . And I understand that the body is impermanence , it changes over time. It changes as I get older, it changes as my stage of life changes too, and it doesn't necessarily have to be beautiful. It is an inevitable and natural fact of life .

So, if a few years ago, in adolescence for example, I woke up and looked at myself in the mirror and didn't like what I saw, I simply stopped doing what I wanted to do: "Oh, I'm going to stop going out", "I'm going to stop going to the beach”, “I'm going to stop wearing a bikini”, “I'm going to stop recording this video I want” because of my appearance, nowadays that just doesn't happen.

Because I know that my self-esteem, my self-love, my value, are not what is in the mirror , but what I deliver to the world.

2. NO ONE IS LATE IN LIFE

The second of the 5 learnings is that there is no way for someone to be late in life.

I've said this several times, and I really hope it can get into your heads, because for me it was a watershed knowledge . I avoid comparing with other people a lot, because I understand that we don't start from the same place.

We don't start from the same opportunities, the same time, the same appearance. In a world where female body neutrality is not yet a reality – and yes, women have fewer or more opportunities according to how close they are to the standard –, the comparison is not fair.

What I can do is go, day after day, getting closer to what I want . I know I want things, and I'm acting on those things I want.

It's not that “wow, I'm not late in my own life, so I'll just sit here and it'll come, it'll come to me and that's all right”. No: I want to reach that point, those goals, conquer those dreams according to my time, according to my possibilities, and what depends on me.

3. FUTUROLOGY

The third learning that changed my life was Futurology . Knowing how to anticipate trends has changed and shaped my career forever . It allowed me to work with giant clients, with projects that are important to me, think strategically about the future , prepare for changes in the market, adapt and develop my authenticity as a professional .

Like that person who will never do what others are doing , the way they are doing it, why they are doing it, and also execute my own ideas, my own projects , and not just projects for clients specifically. In a more strategic way, more connected to the future, and less stuck here in the present or stuck there in the past.

If you've never heard about futurology, even here on the blog or on my Instagram (because I've talked about it a few times): Futurology is a social science based on four pillars - behavior, data, science and history -, and is a research segment that studies and maps possible, probable, preferable futures, and trends . It is a knowledge used by all the largest companies in the world, but in Brazil there are few trained professionals, qualified to use it as a tool.

If you want to know more about this, check out the course I launched on futurology: A Professional of the Future .

4. IT'S OK IF SOMEONE DOESN'T LIKE YOU

The fourth of the 5 lessons that changed my life is that it's okay if some people don't like me, because I won't like them either .

I learned this one when I was fifteen years old and I have never forgotten it. On my fifteenth birthday I invited some people to go to a pizzeria, and a lot of people stuck in my head: “you have to call her, otherwise she will be sad”, “you have to call cyclana because she is very friendly with I don't know who”, “you have to call that other person because you're dating I don't know who, who's friends with I don't know who”. When the birthday happened, I found myself at a table with a bunch of people that I didn't give a damn about.

Why did I invite those people if I didn't genuinely want them to be there? Just for the possibility that they wouldn't like me if I didn't invite them. But why did they have to like me when I didn't even like them that much?

After that birthday there were a lot more people I didn't care about than people I really wanted, liked, wanted to talk to, felt comfortable with, the next day I decided I would never do that again. It was such a great learning experience that to this day I talk to some friends who are like “wow, I think so-and-so doesn’t like me”: “But do you like so-and-so?” "No…". So that's it, it's all right !

The moment a person doesn't like me, I instantly dislike them. It's something that keeps me from going through situations or suffering a lot for people who aren't worth it. Could it be because of my birth chart full of Aquarius? It might be. But I put it on the account of affective autonomy .

5. THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES

The last learning on the list is the five love languages. I still remember, the moment I read about it, everything changed.

My way of reading relationships changed at that moment when I understood that people express love in different ways . The Five Love Languages is a book by Gary Chapman that categorizes different expressions of love that people use. So he says there are five – I don't know if it's just five, but I believe there are at least these, which are: Gifts, physical touch, word, acts of service, and quality time.

My love language is quality time. When I want to express that I love someone, I take my time, so naturally I perceive love that way. Before understanding the languages of love, this made me not value other expressions of love . Later, I began to understand that in relationships, especially friendships, that had not worked out, people expressed love in very different ways than I did. And so, they didn't understand my way of expressing and I didn't understand their way .

It's not that you will only relate to those who express love like you, but that way you can have the sensitivity to understand that different people express feelings in different ways . And that makes us even less disappointed.

Can you identify the way you express love from the people around you?

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