5 Habits of High Self-Esteem to Adopt If You Want to Be Happier

Ten years ago, when I was in my twenties, I was not my best friend.

I was in college and although things were going well in my studies, I was not happy at all.

When I made a mistake or failed I would beat myself for days or sometimes weeks.

I was so obsessed with evil and rarely took the time to appreciate the little and wonderful things about my life and myself.

I compared my appearance, my school results, and my success in dating - or more precisely, the total absence of dates - with what other people had and their results.

I was stuck in a state of apathy and self-loathing. Not a good place to be.

But finally, after many years, I broke free from that addiction.

It was not easy. But gradually I made changes in my thinking and attitude toward the world around me. I stumbled along the way and many times returned to my bad habits.

Today I would like to share five habits that helped me make this big change in my life, which I still rely on to this day and today to maintain and build my confidence.

1. Compare yourself.

One of the first things I decided I needed to stop was comparing myself with what I had for other people and what they had.

But what should you do instead, since replacing a habit tends to be more effective than simply trying to stop it?

I have decided to compare myself with myself instead.

Looking at how old I am. How far am I? How I was successful in small or large ways.

2. Be kind to other people.

One interesting thing I have found is that when you are kind to other people in your life, you tend to think and behave in a kind way, too.

And the good thing about this is that the way you treat others is the way they often treat you over time.

So I have found it very helpful to focus on being kind in my daily life.

This kindness doesn't have to be about great things.

It could just be:

Just be there and listen fully for a few minutes as you let someone out

Give genuine commendation

Let someone enter your route while driving

Take a few minutes to help someone in a practical way by giving advice, using Google to help them find something, lift a heavy table, or make dinner arrangements at a restaurant

3. If you stumble, become your best friend.

Instead of blaming yourself if you make a mistake, fail, or stumble in some way, ask yourself: 'How can my best friend or parent support me and help me in this situation?

Then do things your way and talk to yourself as much as you would like.

This simple change in perspective can help you not to fall into the trap of depressed thoughts, but to build and be confident about what you are doing from here on out.

4. Leave the perfection behind.

One of the main reasons why I beat myself so much was that I used to want things to get better.

So I held myself in high esteem, at school and whatever I did, actually.

The big problem with this kind of thinking was the fact, that I often did not do things at all because I was afraid I could not do them completely. Or, I felt like it was going to be a lot of work and I quit before I started.

Just seeing how this mindset hurts me and the people around me helped me to let go of a healthy perspective.

Also, reminding myself that there is something called “good enough” and focusing on achieving that instead of perfection not only helped me get better results, but also did better in all aspects of my life.

It has also helped me to stop procrastinating and to take many steps to improve my life step by step.

5. Keep in mind why your confidence is so important.

Here is my experience on improving my confidence over the past few years:

Life becomes simpler and easier, because you can no longer make the mountains out of the molehill almost as often.

You will be very poor and stable as a person. The more you love yourself, the more your self-esteem will grow, and you will stop trying desperately to gain the reassurance and attention of other people.

You hurt yourself a little. By raising and maintaining your self-confidence, you will feel more worthy of the good things in every aspect of your life. So you will follow these good things more often and with more encouragement. And if you do find them, then you will be less likely to hurt yourself because you know that you are deeply in your heart.

You will be more attracted to any kind of relationship. With better confidence you will get the benefits listed above. And all of that is very appealing to any type of relationship. It does not matter if that relationship exists with a friend, at work, at school, or with a partner.

All of these are great benefits and make my life happier. And as I go about my days I keep these very important reasons to keep my self-esteem and develop it ahead of my mind.

Doing this simple thing has done wonders for my confidence and motivation to make it a priority in my life.