5 Essentials for Healing & Growth

What you NEED to Heal in a Healthy Way

Yes, you can definitely heal in "not so healthy ways." You know that broken bone that wasn't allowed to heal cause you wouldn't stay off of it, so it never properly heals...

So what happens? This creates a high risk for the injury to reoccur & it will never be 100% again.

Working 1-on-1 with women teaching them how to heal themselves, I have found 5 essentials that you need to build a foundation to support your healing and growth.

1. Courage - Bravery to ACT in favor of your HEART's desire. 

The word courage comes from the Latin word cor 'heart.' Healing requires courage, and nothing about it is "easy." You have a completely different presence when you work on healing yourself. Doing things like shadow work changes your energy and increases your vibration. You can FEEL the difference when you are around people who prioritize their healing and have faced their shadows. Being brave doesn't mean you aren't scared. I have yet to meet someone who doesn't have fear hiding in their ego. Being BRAVE is about doing the RIGHT thing despite your fear. You are SCARED love bug. Just DO IT ANYWAYS.

2. Healthy Ways to Cope

This is one of those things that no one teaches you, yet everyone expects you just to know how to do it healthily! Fun fact: No one has any idea what they are doing. We are all just out here doing what we can, with what we know. It is important to remember that coping and healing are different! I support my client's growth by helping them find healthy ways to cope while they heal. Teaching them how to understand themselves, their behaviors, and their energy. It's 100% unique to each individual, but I would start with self-awareness. What current ways do you "cope"? What do you do when you are having a negative experience, shitty thoughts, or bad emotions?

3. Boundaries - Emotional, Physical, Time/Energy, Mental, & Material

I can not stress this enough, boundaries are NECESSARY! They are a critical part of your healing and self-love! 💕 This includes your friends, family, work, school, clients, & significant others. Toxic or NOT, if someone ignites a negative experience within you, limit or remove that exposure. It isn't about them or their feelings. This is about you and YOUR healing so you can create a compassion-filled life. Setting and KEEPING boundaries is a foundational step when you are growing a relationship with yourself.

Integrity! Keep those promises to yourself. Every time you allow someone to break a boundary, you break that promise to yourself. This creates distance between you and your inner self, usually igniting internal wounds. Stand up for yourself love! You are not responsible for anyone else's feelings but your own.

Stop being 'smaller' to make others comfortable.

Stop overcommitting and draining your energy to make it easier for those around you.

Stop internalizing your emotions to make everyone else's experience "better." Without you being your TRUE self, no one will ever be able to experience the vibrance of your authenticity.

4. TIME

In my experience, this is the hardest thing for most people. We all experience time differently, PLUS we live in a world full of instant gratification. No one expects physical trauma, like a broken bone, to heal overnight. Why do we have different expectations for internal trauma? Trauma wounds are like the broken bones of the soul. They need to heal PROPERLY, and this takes TIME. And you bet your ass you will feel the cycles, the ups & downs, push & pulls. It is all a part of the beautiful yet painful process; remember to KEEP GOING! What you are doing is incredible work that impacts everyone around you, and that is AMAZING!

5. SPACE

This means so many things! Hermit down and look within yourself to find and create the space to JUST BE. It is up to you to create the space both internally and externally to learn and grow. You are going to need the SPACE to feel, process, and surrender. Meditation is an incredible way to create the space for your body to communicate with you. Think of it as you speaking a love language with yourself, Quality Time! Set TIME and SPACE aside to listen to what your body is trying to tell you.

ACTIVITY!

Take a quick Energetic Inventory!

Make a list of everything that drains you as well as everything the lights you up. This includes

• People
• Relationships
• Activities
• Tasks
• Jobs
• Home
• Different environments you come into contact with

💭 Are you surrounding yourself with the space to just be? The space to not only recharge but to explore yourself and heal?

Who do you need to set boundaries with so you can create a safe space for you to heal?

Overall I think "healing" is pretty "slept on." It isn't acknowledged enough, in my opinion. When you ask someone what they have been up to recently or what they're focusing on right now in life and they respond with

"Spending time one healing myself and working through my own bullshit."

"Well, I am in therapy learning so much about myself."

Unfortunately, society still sees self-love and healing as "self-centered" and "selfish." I experienced plenty of that BS when I came out as gay. Luckily healing and self-discovery are becoming a trend. Which is is pretty beautiful as long as you don't use past trauma as an excuse to be a shitty person. haha.

If you are here, then you ARE creating growth that supports your healing. KEEP GOING. DON'T STOP. What you are doing MATTERS.

I see you.

I feel you.

and REMEMBER

Your wants, needs, and desires matter.