4 Steps To Find Inner Peace And Live An Authentic Life

It's very easy to let certain situations or individuals to drive you to the brink of insanity. Trust me, I have been there many times. I struggle with it often, actually. Part of my New Year's Resolution was to not let others get under my skin. It's been challenging, but I think I got it down.

I am sure I'll get a curveball every once in a while that I wasn't expecting, but mostly, I've learned how to tune negative energy out.

1. Figure Out The Source Of The Inner Conflict

This one can be such a loaded step. We have to examine why the situation has upset us. It is a very uncomfortable step, as we have to dig deep to find out why we can't let it go.

In my life, usually, when I can't let go, it is typically because I have unresolved guilt or not feeling validated. It took me years to conclude no one owes me validation. I have to validate myself. When I learned that tidbit, I didn't need others to make me feel visible.

The guilt is a whole other story. As mothers and women, we're programmed to feel guilt when we don't measure up. Many times, we are harder on ourselves. We don't see the improvements we've made and try to discredit our achievements.

For me, I often figure out what is disrupting my inner peace by writing. Others may want to listen to music and dance. It's up to you. Just get in touch with your deep feelings.

2. Acknowledge Your Trauma

Accept your experience and focus on what you may have learned through it. For me, this was a hard step. I tied my experience and trauma to a string of mistakes I made, and I had to own that. And let's face it, accepting your faults and mistakes is never a comfortable experience. But it is necessary for personal growth.

Total Balance shares as people we often resist emotions that are hard for us to process. However, it takes more energy to avoid the feelings than it would take to allow ourselves to process our emotions and move forward.

3. Exercise Compassion For Yourself

This one is difficult for most people. When you embark on the journey to find inner peace, and you figure out what is blocking your happiness - it is easy to let negative self-talk get you down.

For example, maybe you are trying to get over an ex-boyfriend who mistreated you. It's easy to let your mind attack you with thoughts such as:

"I should be over this by now!"

"Everyone says I should be over this by now."

"Why am I stuck on stupid?"

Be kind to yourself. Remember, you are doing the best you can. When a negative thought pops into your head, replace it with a positive one. If you do this regularly, before long, you will reprogram your mind to be more positive.

4. When All Else Fails, Choose Peace And Walk Away

When you cannot figure out how to move on from a situation, sometimes you just have to block it out and refuse to let the person or situation interfere with your life. That could be as simple as blocking a phone number or social media account or as complex as turning your back on a toxic family member or domestic partner.

I've tried most of my life to resolve my problems with my mother. She wasn't willing to see her part in our fallout - by fallout; I mean abusing me as a toddler. She blames my grandma, CPS, and her dead husband. Since I will never get validation or an apology for my sanity, I blocked her from my life. It was the best decision to protect my peace.

Positive experiences can soothe and heal our bodies and our minds and they help us to make a connection with genuine inner peace - Kate James

Finding inner peace is not an easy feat, but with these steps, it is possible.

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Originally published on Medium.