4 Laws Of Emotional Detachment

Within the focus of personal growth and spirituality, the term detachment is key to achieving happiness.

It means being able to overcome the barriers in our comfort zone so that we no longer need, depend, or live in fear of losing dimensions to which we cling in excess. Because only when we are able to overcome the ego will we finally stop suffering.

Let us try for a moment to explain what happiness is for us. There are those who would say that happy is someone who has great assets, a good partner, a comfortable bank account.

All of this undoubtedly covers many of our most basic needs. But do these dimensions offer a true sense of well-being? In fact, the narrowest definition of what happiness is could not be simpler: happiness is the absence of fear, it is not knowing what it is and what anxiety tastes like.

It basically means knowing how to love, appreciate and get involved in things from a more balanced and healthy point of view, freeing us in turn from those excesses that put us in chains and that tie us down. That cut off our wings.

Practicing detachment is therefore the first step in reaching that state. It is allowing us to be freer, lighter, less attached to what we have or what we lack.

It is to live from the heart without having to need anything or anyone compulsively. In turn, it also means being able and knowing how to give ourselves to others with authenticity and without pressure.

The emotional liberation generated by detachment offers us the option of living more honestly. It is then that the option to grow, to advance with knowledge of the cause, arises before us.

Without harming anyone, without anyone putting their fence around us camouflaged by the chains of passionate, filial or even maternal love.

Let us learn, then, to put into practice these simple laws of detachment

First law of detachment: you are responsible for yourself .

The first law of detachment invokes a basic principle of personal growth: responsibility. Let us think about it: no one is going to remove for us every stone we find on the way. Just as no one will breathe for us or volunteer to carry our sorrows or pains.

Each one of us is the architect of our own existence. And such a thing implies courage.

It means that we must detach ourselves from the opinions of others, from the need to be validated, to wait for the approval of others to go ahead with our decisions, dreams or projects.

We are free people, ready to create the destiny that we believe convenient.

Therefore, being fully aware of this right to be builders of our own destiny, take these dimensions into account:

Don't put your own happiness in other people's pockets. Do not conceive of the idea that to be happy in this life, it is essential to find a partner who loves you or to always have the recognition of your family. Loneliness is sometimes the best company to promote our self-realization.

If the barometer of your satisfaction and happiness is in what others bring you, you will only get suffering. The reason? Rarely they will manage to cover all your needs.

Cultivate your own happiness, feel responsible, mature, be aware of your decisions and their consequences. Choose for yourself and never let your well-being depend on other people's opinions or advice.

Second law of detachment: live the present, accept, assume reality .

In this life, nothing is eternal, nothing remains, everything flows and returns to its path weaving that natural order that is so difficult for us to assume some times.

People are almost always focused on everything that happened in the past and that, in some way, now becomes a hard burden that alters our present.

Often, we are so "attached" to all those events that happened in the past that we forget the most important one: living.

We put all our attention on those family disagreements, on the trauma that surrounds and conditions us, on that loss, on that sentimental failure or that frustration not overcome...

All these are anchors that hold us, that put chains on our feet and hooks in our soul.

Detachment is also about gathering strength to look at the present and allow us to heal wounds. It is necessary to favor acceptance, to assume realities and not to resist before certain evidences.

Moreover, sometimes we have no choice but to forgive and even to forgive ourselves. Only in this way will we feel more liberated, ready to appreciate with all our senses the "here and now", this present where you have your true opportunity.

Third law of detachment: promote your freedom and allow others to be free as well .

Detachment is not cutting ties or establishing ties marked by emotional coldness. Quite the contrary! We are facing a dimension where we learn to file fears in order to love in a more authentic and respectful way.

It is knowing how to give and allow ourselves to receive without pressure, without blind needs, without anxieties or with the eternal fear of being abandoned. It is to prefer without needing the other.

Likewise, another aspect that we must remember about detachment is that we are not obliged to be responsible for the lives of others. Thus, there is no lack of those who, for example, long to find a partner to escape loneliness or even to heal old wounds from yesterday.

Let us be clear that none of us has the obligation to be a hero. To rescue others in order to heal their loneliness or fractures caused by old relationships. This kind of bond only generates suffering.

Intense attachments are never healthy, think for example of those obsessive parents who go too far in protecting their children and prevent them from being able to mature, from being able to move forward safely to explore the world.

The need for "detachment" is vital in these cases, where everyone must go beyond the limits of certainty to learn from the unforeseen, from the unknown.

Fourth law of detachment: assume that losses will happen sooner or later .

The idea of impermanence is present in every spiritual trend. We speak of that dimension where we are obliged to understand "yes or yes" that in this life nothing lasts, that nothing can be contained eternally.

Relationships and even material things change, mature, and often even end up fading away. Let us therefore assume the idea of change, absence and even loss as a vital law to which we cannot close our eyes.

Some people will go away forever, children will grow up, some friends will stop being friends, and some loves will go away from the warmth of our hands...

However, many other things will come. Because life is change, but it is also movement and all this is part of detachment. And as such, we must learn to assume it in order to face it with greater integrity. With greater strength.

What will never change, however, is your capacity to love: always start with yourself!