10 Tips For Self Healing After a Breakup

Directly following a breakup, there are a number of things you will want to do to begin the healing process. While it may be beneficial in your situation to seek professional help with processing emotions following an especially difficult breakup, there are also many things you can do yourself to begin working through the healing process. Today I will share ten of my best tips for self-healing, which I used following my own breakup to move more quickly through the healing process and get back on my feet. If you enjoy these tips and would like more self-care tips, check out 5 Ways to Heal After a Breakup and 5 More Ways to Heal After a Breakup, and be sure to visit my website at www.MendingMomma.com.

Without further ado, here are ten tips for self-healing after a breakup!

1. Pamper Yourself

When working on self-healing after a breakup, one of the first things you will want to do is take time to pamper yourself. When you take care of your body it helps improve your mental health and alleviate symptoms of depression. After a long day of taking care of business, you can unwind by putting on a face mask, playing soft music, and relaxing in a warm bath. This is the perfect opportunity to sit quietly with your thoughts and do some self-reflection.

You can follow that up by treating yourself to some ice cream, a glass of wine, and putting on a good movie. I recommend staying away from romantic movies and cheesy comedies. Instead, try an old childhood favorite. While you watch the movie, paint a new shade of polish on those fingernails! It may seem silly, but seeing the color on your nails can be a nice reminder of the time you took for yourself. Unlike a new makeup or article of clothing, a new fingernail polish is something you can enjoy all day, every day. You will see your hands far more often than most other things, and bring a smile to your beautiful face!

2. Challenge Yourself

I have found that one of the best ways to make myself feel better when I am down is to challenge myself to try something new. This feeling is actually based on some pretty cool science. Basically, when we try new things we build and strengthen the neurotransmitters in our brain which make us feel successful and fulfilled. When we accomplish new things, even small things, we are training our brains to feel satisfied with ourselves. This is, of course, extremely empowering.

Following a breakup, it can be really challenging to force ourselves to get out there and try something new. It is much easier to curl up in bed with a gallon of ice cream and a box of tissues. But the sooner you get out and feel that sense of accomplishment, the sooner you will feel like your old happy self again. I recommend starting small. Check out Pinterest and Youtube for some fun ideas you can try at home, such as a new craft or hobby. You can also pick up an old project and work towards completing it. I know I have a quilt project that was the perfect distraction following my breakup. Whatever it is, make sure you celebrate your accomplishment and reward yourself for a job well done!

3. Read Something New

There are many benefits to reading, as discussed in this article by the University of the People. The myriad benefits that come along with this simple daily practice are well worth the time spent. Most importantly, reading can provide stress relief and a sense of belonging. When you are practicing self-healing after a breakup, this sense of belonging and stress relief is invaluable. Even if you only have time for ten minutes of reading before bedtime, take the time to do this and you will soon notice a difference in your outlook on life.

4. Journal

As discussed in this article on why everyone should keep a journal, the practice of daily journaling comes with a number of benefits. Journaling is another way to provide stress relief, as it is a wonderful outlet for your thoughts and feelings that you don't feel ready to discuss with another person. This is a great place to keep private thoughts and feelings, dreams and ambitions, or even just a running to-do list to help keep your thoughts and goals organized. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to journal, but if you find yourself stuck, try starting with a free-write session. For this, just write anything that comes to mind. Don't worry about sentence structure or your writing making sense, you are the only one who will ever see this and you are not here to judge yourself. Just let it all out.

5. Get Moving

This is probably one you have heard many times, but old advice is good advice. When you exercise, your body produces endorphins, which make us feel good. By adding an exercise regime into your daily routine, you are increasing your endorphin production and causing yourself to feel happy. Even starting with a daily walk or light exercise at home, you will feel the benefits of exercise almost immediately. My best recommendation is to be strict with yourself about doing this. Prioritize exercising every day. Soon, this will become a habit, then you won't have to force yourself to do it because you will feel "off" on days when you skip your workout.

6. Eat Healthy

Similar to getting exercise, when you fuel your body with good, healthy food, you will feel happier. When we fill our bodies with sugar, caffeine, and trans fats we are creating an endless cycle of peaks and valleys in our blood sugar. When we are constantly recovering from the "crash" that comes when these types of foods are digested, what we are really doing is causing our bodies a lot of stress which it is not well-equipped to deal with. When we eat healthily, our bodies maintain a steadier level of energy and nutrients and we no longer experience these "crashes" and the cravings for junk food that typically come with them.

Pro Tip: Don't think of this as a "diet" but rather, a lifestyle change. You are doing this for the long-term gains, not the short-term potential for weight loss or changes to your appearance.

7. Get Some Sleep

Getting enough sleep is one of the best things you can do when you are practicing self-healing following a breakup. Although depression can make sleep difficult, the link between getting quality sleep and having good mental health is undeniable. Make sure you prioritize getting your beauty sleep in, so you can start each day with a calm, focused mind. If you are having trouble in this area, try sticking with a nighttime routine, listening to sleep meditations, or a vitamin supplement before you attempt to correct your sleep patterns pharmaceutically. While medications can be immensely beneficial for those who need them, the best first step in addressing sleep problems is to resolve issues in your routine and sleep practices before resorting to medical intervention.

For more advice on how to adopt good sleep habits, check out this article written for the Division of Sleep Medicine at Harvard Medical School.

8. Take Responsibility

Taking responsibility means practicing self-awareness. This may be the most difficult step when self-healing after a breakup, but it is also probably the most important. When you take responsibility for your actions, both within your relationship and outside of it, you are becoming aware of your weaknesses, flaws, and limitations, and this can stop people from wanting to practice this. However, if you do not practice self-awareness and taking responsibility, you are essentially denying your role in your relationship and the part you played in its dissolution.

When you take responsibility for your actions and you admit your weaknesses, you open yourself up for growth. You can face these challenges or shortcomings and make a plan to address them, so you don't carry old baggage into future relationships. This is how you hold yourself accountable, which will make you a stronger individual and a stronger partner within your relationships.

To be clear; taking responsibility does not mean shouldering all the blame. We have all heard the old adage "it takes two to tango" and it could not be more true. You are not solely responsible for the problems in your relationship. You are, however, responsible for your behavior and the choices you have made, and facing these things, while difficult, is essential if you are truly to heal and move forward.

9. Relax

After putting in all this hard work, remember to take the time to relax. While a bath or a hot shower is usually a great way to hit the "reset" button, you will want to take more time than this. Relaxing is something we often view as "frivolous" and don't schedule the proper time for, however, this is not the case. Relaxing is just as important as getting exercise or eating healthily and in order to feel fulfilled and happy we need to schedule and prioritize relaxation.

Make sure you schedule a "night off" each week so you can relax and spend some time doing something you enjoy. Try putting on a movie, reading a book, listening to music, or diving into an art project you're working on. Spend the whole evening doing whatever you like, and know that anything left on your to-do list or left unkempt in your home can be addressed tomorrow. It is absolutely okay to take a night off and enjoy yourself. In fact, it is actually extremely important.

10. Practice the Power of Positive Thinking

Finally, when self-healing from a breakup, make sure you practice the power of positive thinking. When you approach life with a positive outlook, you are setting yourself up to succeed and inviting positivity into your life. I highly recommend reading The Power of Positive Thinking by Dr. Norman Vincent (published 1952), which fully explains the benefits of approaching life with a positive outlook. Basically, the idea is that by looking at things through a positive lens, you begin to see how there is positivity even in the bleakest of situations, and the problems life throws at you begin to feel less insurmountable. Not only this, but if you practice having a good attitude regarding the problems that arise in your life, you will begin to notice that when things do come up which are unexpected or challenging, you will no longer view these problems as being so overwhelming. You can train yourself to feel less stressed out and more in control of your circumstances.

By practicing these self-healing techniques you will soon find yourself feeling better following your breakup. If you found these tips helpful, make sure you read my other articles about healing after a breakup and my website at www.MendingMomma.com, where you can learn more about life as a single mom and how to make everything work. If you like my work, please consider leaving a tip or a comment to show your support! Thank you!