Marriage Number 1

I was married the first time at age 17, in 1971. My mother planned the wedding of her dreams. All I had to do was show up to try on the dress for a fitting. It was a November wedding, with the works. A beautiful white gown, with a veil that I would wear, made by her cousin, and friend from high school. My friends and sister, had beautiful dresses made by the same person. Made of a soft burgundy velvet. The cake was a great towering monster of a cake. The venue was a catholic church wedding with the church basement for the reception and the dance at a resort down the road.

There was a snowstorm that day on November 6, 1971, and when we entered the church, all beautifully decorated, there were not as many seated as had rsvp'd. What a relief I thought, a more intimate wedding. However, when we turned around, we could see that the church had filled to overflowing in just a short time. People standing at the back of the church. It was the weather that had slowed people down. With all the planning she had done, mom somehow forgot the photographer. We went in for photos' before returning the suits back just a few days after the wedding.

The food was wonderful, and the company was enjoyable and there were family there that I hadn't seen in several years. The dance was grand with people all around. They were there to celebrate with us and we were so happy and in love. We were in a dry county, and that meant to get alcohol, friends took our vehicle to buy more alcohol when we ran out. Yes, I drank at the wedding and so did my friends. My husband was of age. The friends came back without our vehicle. They had the alcohol though. Apparently they had driven our car into a ditch. There was the wedding party in the ditch to get our car.

The next thing to happen, was one of my bridesmaids had only recently broken up with my new brother in law. That did put a crimp on our wedding night. My new husband punched his brother as he wouldn't leave her alone and she ended up sleeping with us that night. Not how you want to remember your wedding night. It's funny now, and it wasn't so funny then. For years after, she talked about how she slept between us that night. And I never corrected that until this year. There are perfect picture memories and not so perfect memories and still, all in all, I wouldn't do anything different!

Many years later, I asked my mother if it was important for me to be married as I was living with my boyfriend and she was Catholic. It was a sin right? She simply said, "I wasn't worried about that! I just didn't want my grandchildren being born out of wedlock!"

In 1989, I was married for the second time. I was divorced in 1984, from husband number 1. We had two beautiful children in our marriage. No regrets. Husband number two and I planned our wedding. He was married by the justice of the peace the first time. We would be married by a Lutheran minister, a friend, this time. Our friend asked that we go through a marriage prep course and we agreed to. As we completed that course he told us that we were the most compatible couple he had ever worked with. Nice. I had a beautiful dress, not white. Beautiful shoes to match. Again, not white. We had the wedding at a well decorated Lutheran church. We had a limited guest list and most everyone rsvp'd.

We had the reception down from the church, a place that included lodging. We stayed there on our wedding night and I was glad to have that room to go to that day and night. We had a mexican buffet with very good food. However, I got sick before the wedding and was even more ill during the reception and wedding dance. I was there for special events like the wedding ceremony, the first dance and throwing the bouquet. I found I was in the room more than at the reception. The explanation was, "she's not pregnant, just ate something that didn't agree with her." Yes, it was coming out of both ends, however it was not something I ate, rather stress induced. I really didn't know that I should be remarrying. The very best part of our uniting was I got another son. He was twelve when he came into my life and our oldest. My children adopted him and he them, even before we knew we would marry. He has been such a gift. No regrets!

Wedding number three was the charm on December 23, 2004. I was divorced from number two in 1999. Husband number three and I were not going to invite anyone. A minister friend of mine married us at her church. At the last minute we invited our kids, saying only that they didn't have to come if they had other plans as it really will be no big deal! Five of the seven of our children were there, along with a few grandchildren. The minister asked one of the granddaughters father to smudge us. I loved that. My culture a part of the ceremony. Our minister was a Ho-Chunk friend. Clothing was dressy but simple. We went to Perkins afterwards. Left for Texas the next day. Great wedding, and family time. No regrets, living happily ever after with seven children, 25 grandchildren with the youngest 2 in December and 8 great grandchildren with one due this year, in 2021.