Marriage

A survey carried out by a YouTuber named 'Asian Boss' found

that 60 to 70 per cent of the youngsters in India believe that

arranged marriages are the only choice that they have.

(Source- Youtube)

The tradition of marriage has always been a debated issue in

Indian society since the early ages and in particular that of

‘Arranged Marriages’.See the thing is marriage in itself is not a

complex tradition but what makes it problematic is when it gets

fused with culture and in particular with caste. We all are aware

that Indian society has been cursed by the spell of caste

irrespective of the religion that thrives in the country. Yes, it's a

sad reality that irrespective of the diversity and the existing

religions in the country we all are polluted by the concept of

caste system. So much so that the religion of Islam that so

strongly condemns any biases on the basis of colour and creed

too got affected by this unethical and inhumane practice of

caste prejudice. The effect of caste can be witnessed in every

sphere of life. If a person belongs to a lower caste then he or

she is not allowed to visit the places of worship along with the

people of the upper caste and this is present in almost all the

religions that thrive in India. Be it in Muslims or Hindus, we

come across several cases of a Dalit being beaten up due to

entering the temple of Brahmins. We have also heard of heated

debates rising up in the two communities of Shia and Sunni due

to the saying of the Azaan(the Muslim call to prayer) in a style

that differs from the other. So cases like these are now a

normal part of the day-to-day routine for the people of India.

You have two communities debating and using abusive

language to disrespect one another and the TV channels

making their TRP out of these debates. Though this caste and

cultural system has affected almost every sphere of life but the

sphere that has been hit very hard, in particular, is that of

marriage. For Indians, marriage is like another festival which

almost all the Indians celebrate but unlike all festivals, some

don’t end well.

According to Shruti, another participant in the Youtube survey

says, "Some of them hold back from marriages because

of the long-prevailing traditions to which they want

to stick with."

When we hear the word marriage, the immediate thoughts that

run inside our mind are merry-making, exchanging gifts, visiting

relatives and especially making love but these thoughts don’t

apply to the minds of Indian brides or Indian societies majorly.

Maybe these thoughts are applicable to the West and are

limited till there only because very few people in India are able

to cherish the life of ‘Love Marriages’. Around 80% of marriages

in India are arranged. Arranged by the parents or even in some

cases arranged by their relatives. Relatives in India are similar

to brokers, more like of a middleman. It is they who convey the

messages of one party to the other. When it comes to

marriages it is they who are first approached. One more thing

to note here is that it’s only after their approval that the

parents of the two sides meet in person. I have always felt that

why the priority is always given to the relatives? Is it because

we feel insecure to visit the other party for the very first time or

are we shy? Who has made these rules or guidelines? And if

you go on to ask about the rationality of these concepts then

your mouth will be sealed by referring to some ancient quotes

from Vedas or some other religious texts! What else can you

expect when you question a society which is guided by caste

hierarchy and dominated by caste-minded patriarchy?

According to another seventy-year-old participant, “Love

marriages are like bullshit and they eventually fall

apart at last creating voids in the society.”

(source- Youtube Channel )

Now moving on to the next step. Hypothetically even if you are

able to convince your parents to marry a girl of your own

choice. I mean though that happens one in out of five cases but

let’s say you somehow succeeded in doing that, now there is

another wall that stands in front of you.‘The great wall of

caste’.Breaking this wall or even like getting over this wall is like

winning half the battle. Unless you succeed here forget about

further steps. It doesn't matter how much the two of you love

one another, unless the two families decide to step over this

wall it is impossible. And as I said before, it goes for both the

dominant religions in India, Hinduism and Islam.

According to the India Human Development Survey, only about

5% of Indian marriages are inter-caste.

(Source- BBC World News)

People are so much caught by the dilemma of caste that out of

the two families even if one of them decides to overlook the

matter then they are forced to consider it by the other side.

Because for some people marriages can only be carried out

within their caste or within a family of their status and mindset.

For example, if you belong to a Shiekh or a Sayyed community

then you are only legalized to marry a person who either

belongs to the same caste or above it. And as a result of this

cast-based society, we see how many women are left

unmarried, unable to find a match that suits their caste. They

have crossed their particular age of marriage just to find the

perfect match which is based on the judgement of caste.

Marriage in India has emerged as a cultural gorge in Indian

society. It has created a division, a rift amongst the

communities which sometimes ultimately leads to a

development of hatred against a particular community when

they don’t fit in the frame in which people want them to fit in.

It happens to almost all of us with having a very few exceptions.

People have become so obsessed with this culture they don’t

see that they are becoming a murderer of their loved ones. And

be it or not almost every youngster has to cross this bridge

though the majority of them fail to do so. With only 5% of

marriages having been done as inter-caste, India has shown the

world that the country in which a woman is worshipped as a

deity is the same country that tries to choke the freewill and

freedom of expression of women since the very beginning of

the ages. While most of the people are brainwashed by the

religious preachers that inter-caste marriages are a grave sin

and that they will not only be cursed in this life but also in the

lives to come. (i.e life after death). Such superstitions are

baseless and only thrive when there is a lack of knowledge of

your religion along with rationality.

See having proper knowledge of one own’s religion is also very

important. I am not saying that we should all grab our holy

texts and start the race to become scholars. What I mean here

is that at least we all should have the basic knowledge of our

religion. At least we should give it a try to understand, to

comprehend what our religion actually is, and what it is trying

to say to us. What is the word of God? What is it that God

wants us to understand? Unless we understand the word of

God we will always be manipulated by people who will

approach us in the form of fake Sadhus and Priest thereby

giving us the altered knowledge that would ultimately benefit

them and which would be of no use to us. Preachings that will

favour the caste system, teachings that will never allow us to

carry inter-religion or even inter-caste marriages.Teachings that

instead of benefitting us will make us a slave of the corrupted

religious system.