You’re Already Whole, Learn To Tap Into Your Strengths

It’s the end of the weekend, so if no one has asked yet, HOW ARE *YOU* ?

I was chatting with my therapist recently about a perspective I wanted to share … > You’re already whole. <

I’m not saying we don’t need to do the work, develop and grow personally, and learn to work through our triggers and habits that don’t serve us. But don’t let yourself get stuck in the cycle of finding the next part of you that needs to be healed, over and over. Because that can create the script in our mind that loops: “I’m broken and need to be fixed.”

If that dialogue resonates with you, great, because now you have this moment to remind yourself: I am whole. I am already whole and I always have been. I always will be. It will feel more authentic the more we practice reminding ourselves that. Instead of focusing on what we don’t like … harping on “what’s happened to us,” or that we are this way because of a trauma — I understand it is much easier said than done…But if you can, try to focus on what you do like. What you do have. Your personal strengths and your special superpowers. Acknowledge that you’re already a whole person, and any additional growth you have are sprinkles to the awesome “cake” you are!

Free yourself. Let go of your pain that no longer serves you and it can begin to fade away. There is nothing “wrong” with you.

I’ve talked with a therapist for five years, then again after five years started again for the past two. I think it’s equally important to have someone for your mind, just like the rest of your body. If you’re judging, maybe you need to work it out with a therapist.

PLAY TO YOUR STRENGTHS!

Sometimes we (I know I have at least) get hyper focused on our “weaknesses” and the parts of ourselves that we think we need to “fix” in order to be whole so we can then go after what we want. I’m not excusing working on ourselves, unlearning toxic or low-vibe behaviors and learning positive ones, and doing the work on areas we know we must to be our best selves..so this isn’t a justification to not better ourselves and our health. Or to limit ourselves — always stay open & push yourself!! ⠀

However, if we find ourselves just plain old sucking at something... Like say tennis, baking, or accounting. Especially if we find ZERO enjoyment in it — I encourage you to ask yourself why you want to put in the energy to “better” this part of yourself, and if it truly aligns with what you want out of your life. Or is it holding you back from what you really could be because you’re stuck in the script of telling yourself how much you suck at this. If it’s a passion area, I get it. Then you should absolutely put your energy into it and follow that journey to growth. If not — maybe that is just someone else’s passion area. Maybe that’s someone else’s life purpose. So why waste time living another’s dream and spend one more minute on it beating ourselves up? Live your dream.⠀

Shift the focus to what you do want. What brings you joy? What’s authentic to you?

Think like The Avengers. Yes, they share many personality and leadership qualities/values/etc. However, they each have their own unique superpowers. You’re an avenger too. You really are your own super hero. You already have all you need within you, so put the energy into learning, practicing, and living the life that makes you shine those parts, inside and out. ⠀

We minimize resistance and build confidence when we play to our strengths, and life just seems to flow, feel, better. Focus on your strengths and watch how those “weaknesses” we thought we had, seem to just fade away. We all exist on this Earth for unique reasons, not to be a copy of anyone else. Spend your energy wisely.

"The world is filled with people who, no matter what you do, will point blank not like you. But it is also filled with those who will love you fiercely. They are your people. You are not for everyone and that’s OK. Shit, that's GREAT! A key sign of authentic living. So talk to the people who can hear you, most importantly being you. Don’t waste your precious time and gifts trying to convince them of your value, they won’t ever want what you’re selling. Don’t convince them to walk alongside you. You’ll be wasting both your time and theirs and will likely inflict unnecessary wounds, which will take precious time to heal. You are not for them and they are not for you; politely wave them on and continue along your way. Sharing your path with someone is a sacred gift; don’t cheapen it by rolling yours in the wrong direction. Keep facing your true north." - Rebecca Campbell, Light is The New Black.

Refining my “why”, and realistically refocusing myself for where I’m at currently has been a helpful tool for me to incorporate regularly. I’ve been spending more of my energy shifting inward. Your mental health matters! Don’t be afraid to meet yourself where you’re at, look inward, and do the things needed for YOU to hold onto your sacred gifts. I know I’m guilty of overthinking! Let’s instead use our energy to keep facing our true north and pushing past limited beliefs! One thing I’m also implementing back in this month is a GRATITUDE. Tip: journal to stay in control of your peace inside, regardless of the world! Control what you can control — yourself, your health, & your reactions!

Because at the end of the day, No one sees what you see, even if they see it too. Your perspective is always needed and valuable because it is 𝑢𝑛𝑖𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑙𝑦 yours!⠀⠀

For example, growing up in school I was always afraid to raise my hand in class. In fear of being wrong or laughed at for my opinion & thoughts in front of everyone. What if my answer was different? ⠀

Yet at home or with friends — where I felt comfortable to open up — I’d be my real self, share my views (even if you didn’t ask or disagreed), I shared my voice freely without worrying about being different. I shared it loudly, and without fear. ⠀

One setting was my inner world, where I felt free from preconceived ideas or structure on how things were supposed to be. There was no check the box, right or wrong way, correct answers. I knew I was the creator of my personal life here, at home. Whereas in the other, I thought at the time, the answers in this place were all outside of myself. Mix in the social anxiety, as I’d sit there in my seat I felt like I was the only one in class who didn’t get the script on what to say or how to act. I’d get good grades because I’d share my thoughts in writing through homework and projects with the teacher, but when it came to class discussion, I was always giving up my gift; my perspective and my voice, for all to hear. You know, the rest of the class is already discussing it, they have the answers...why even add mine in? Not understanding then that actually, regardless of the “right” or most accepted answers, I did have a fresh perspective to bring. I always had/have mine. That's what the World is about, being different, being you.

I was just waiting for me to accept that voice inside as valuable enough to be heard in front of others. The setting of your one life where you choose who to be is a whole lot bigger, and knowing that no matter how many others you see around you... no one sees what you see. And THAT is valuable. ⠀

Seek, listen, and trust this knowing guidance we all have within us. Our intuition/God/Universe/Source/etc. The chatter outside of ourselves in the world telling us how something should or shouldn’t be, “supposed to go” or what the “right answer” is, it doesn't make you. All of our answers for ourselves are already within us. Believe. ♥️⠀