yoga now. yoga later.

Without stating the obvious, 2020 has been quite the year. So much loss and heartbreak. So much uncertainty and the stress of the unknown. What does one turn to in times like these? Who does one become?

When the world shut down the first time, I turned to my writing for solace. I would crank out my silver fox typewriter and let the writing spirit move me. I mostly wrote poems about love and on being present for your life. Those themes constantly circle around in my mind.

I slept. And sat outside. I drank coffee. And read some. But everything seemed fickle—— frivolous, at best. I had just come out of a dark grief storm after losing my grandmother last summer. She was a rock for me, and without her everything seemed a lot less sure.

After returning to my server job after an almost three month hiatus because of covid-19, I knew that despite our best efforts, things would never be the same again— and neither would I.

I needed a change of scenery. A new vista, if you will. I needed a return to love. A return to yoga.

When I saw that two of my favorite teachers where offering a virtual yoga teacher training, I thought “if not now , when?” I’ve been interested in yoga for over a decade and had practiced at home and in studios. The idea of becoming a yoga teacher had crossed my mind numerous times. Maybe, just maybe the time was ideal for the pursuit of such. I quit my server job and threw myself into the training.

Colleen and Rodney are well respected and regarded in the yoga world. Together they have almost 50 years of instruction, maybe more.

What I know for sure is that I could not have chosen a better time or more vigilant and knowledgeable teachers. Even through the coldness of the computer screen, their warmth and precise watch carries through.

I trust them.

So back to the subject of the unknown. I feel the only thing we can control is how we react to any situation that arises. We can go within and notice the quality of our breathe or we can get loss in the outside noise. We always have a choice. By becoming more knowledgeable about my body through the practice of yoga, I’m learning where I hold my hurt and shame. I’m learning where the tension lies and how to be easy with myself.

Yoga is about acceptance and beyond the physical reaching, there’s a spiritual grounding that occurs. Feeling both feet on the ground in tadasana and imagining myself as stoic and stable as the Great Smokey mountains, I can see beyond. My circumstance doesn’t define me and where I am right now is not where I will always be.

I walk into the unknown with my chest lifted and my mind calm. And now, yoga. And now, listening.