Yoga For Radical Acceptance

When we hear the word "acceptance" we instantly think of giving up or giving in. We go straight to denial: "No, I cannot accept this." Here's a secret... You can accept something without agreeing with it.

A good example of this is a person who was raised to believe that homosexuality is unnatural or "a sin". If that person's child later comes out as a homosexual, it can be dangerous for that person to deny this reality. However, if they can look past their own beliefs of how things "should be", they may be able to maintain a healthy relationship with their child despite their differences.

Another example is with this COVID-19 panic. Many refer to these as "uncertain times", and rightfully so. We don't know when or even if things can ever get back to "normal". It doesn't do any good to deny the uncertainty. Nor does it do any good to overthink and catastrophize the situation. Radical acceptance is simply letting go of our notions of how things can be different, allowing us to focus more on what we can change.

The concept of radical acceptance in clinical psychology comes from the lovely Tara Branch, Ph.D. With her soothing voice, she leads seminars and now Ted Talks reminding us to let go of control (or "the illusion of control" as she calls it).

Anxiety can cause us to get "stuck" in a certain mindset. We can become too concerned with how things "should be" and what can be done to fix it. Take Coronavirus, for another example. Face it, there is no way an individual can take on and resolve this pandemic on their own. Unless you're a scientist, it is most likely not your responsibility. Rather, spend your time and energy on what you can control. I have to use the same concept when thinking of the impacts COVID-19 is having on my already-stressful job.

So, that's what I'm bringing to the mat today. My intention is to release control of what I can't control in all aspects of my life. I invite you to do the same. Roll out your yoga mat or find a comfortable space on the ground. Let's process what's really bothering us today.

This is called crossed-legged pose, "easy pose", or sukhasana.

No matter what it is, see if practicing radical acceptance helps relieve your suffering. Without the burden of the world on your shoulders, put your faith in the universe that everything will work out of you. Everything will be okay for you in the end. Now, doesn't that feel better?

As always, let's start by taking a few of the deepest breaths you'll take all day. Let go of any tension in the neck, shoulders, chest, and belly. This will be a restorative practice, meant to give back to the body rather than taking away from it. So, I want you to avoid pushing yourself too hard to get into these poses. Just accept where you are today. Remember, this is all about acceptance and not trying to control or change anything.

After our brief meditation, our intentions now set, we can begin adding movement to our practice. Let's start by bringing our hands to our heart center (prayer pose or pranamasana). Bow your head toward your hands to feel a good stretch in the back of the neck. Next, lift your gaze to the sky or the ceiling. Repeat until you feel the stretch climb all the way down to the top of the back.

Next, tilt the right ear toward the right shoulder to lengthen the left side of the neck. To deepen the stretch, reach your right arm up to gently add weight to the head. Then, let's even it out on the other side.

No practice is complete without a good side-body stretch. We lean to the right, then the left, then the right, then the left. Feel the rib cage expand on both sides, giving you even more room with which to take in those delicious breaths I know you're still taking.

I invite you again to truly let go. Have fun with these side body stretches because this will be the most movement we will get this practice. Swoosh from side to side until you feel really loose in your spine. 

Finally, stretch your legs out before you. We will finish our practice with a long seated forward fold. Reach toward your toes but remember that we are not pushing or straining. We are working on acceptance. You may not be able to reach your toes today, and that's perfectly fine.

Wherever you are today, reach your hands on the floor next to each of your legs. Palms are facing up today in a gesture of receiving. Although we are trying to ground ourselves into the present moment, we actually want to receive whatever the world has to offer us today. Give up control so that you may end your suffering.

While you spend time in your seated forward fold, say the following affirmations gently to yourself:

• I can control how I feel.
• I am a part of something much greater than myself
• I accept that which I cannot control.
• I choose to focus only on what I can control.
• Releasing control sets me free.
• Everything I desire in life is available to me.
• I trust the process.
• I have the patience to see this through.

Repeat these steps every day you're doing restorative yoga in quarantine. Before you know it, things will more easily roll off your back. You may have more time and energy available to focus on what you can actually control. Once you do that, the changes you seek should start rolling in.

Thank you for sharing this practice with me today. I invite you to take a final cleansing breath - in through the nose and out through the mouth. Push out all those negative thoughts that do not serve you. If that felt good, do it again. As you do, think about all the people practicing with us at this very moment. Remember that we are not alone. We are never alone in this awesome, mysterious universe we inhabit.

Take good care and NAMASTE.