Why is Death so Sad?

Death. The word alone can shoot shivers down my spine. Many of us fear it to the point of denial. Maybe not conscious denial, for we all know we will die one day, but instead subtle, subconscious denial. It would appear many of us shape our lives and culture in an attempt to feel blissful ignorance from this depressing thought.

But my question is why? Why is death such a sad thing? Why is nobody challenging the connotation of death? And when one does, they are instantly shut down?

Death is the absence of life… the lack of life. And for there to be life, death is inevitable. The very moment life is created, so is its inevitable ending. To start something, it will always end.

As we live we deny this reality. We have created this bubble of mental protection from the idea that we will all be fully dead one day. Once, when we are buried six feet under, and again when we are completely forgotten from everything still alive. Eventually, everyone will die and nobody will begin to live in the first place. The very idea of bringing life into this world is seemingly pointless because that means there shall be something that dies. By adding life to this species, you are delaying its inevitable death.

So are we aware of this? Is humanity aware of the fact that death is the inevitable ending for our entire species? I don’t think so, simply because we see death as a sad thing.

Something that is sad is usually unwanted and/or not required. When we see things as sad we do not think that they necessarily had to happen. Google defines sorrow as a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others. I would like to focus on the word loss. This definition states how you must lose something to be sad, yet do we have anything to begin with?

As said earlier, life is the delay of death. Life allows death to be possible. So how are they not interchangeable? For life to exist there must be death, and for death to exist there must be life. Yet we see life as a miracle and death as a misfortune. There appears to be a disconnect from these current truths, which I believe is simply due to us not connecting the dots.

This leads me to the question, why do we not? Why of all the concepts humanity has learned and achieved, we left out the very one that is debatably the most important? The one that has shaped parts of society for thousands of years.

Easy, how could we? How would society have grown to such heights if we understood everything we are doing will eventually be pointless? We eventually will have no society, no species existing, no buildings left to build, and no modernization left to achieve. Yet, the present world pushes on tirelessly.

These “achievements” seem pointless because they must be. The creation of anything is only possible if the destruction of that same thing will inevitably balance it out. Conservation of energy, conservation of mass, conservation of everything will see to that.

Death, the inevitable ending, how depressing, yet how enlightening as well. It does not have to be sad and it should not be. Yes, death is only possible with life, but life is beautiful so let us accept the ending of our stories as much as we accept the beginning. Start living and growing the right way. A way that brings the most people together and the way that makes us the most understanding.

At the end of a great movie, we don’t cry that it has ended. Maybe we cry throughout the movie, or during one of its final scenes, but never because the lights have turned back on and it’s time to go home. No, we wish it was longer, and then talk about our favorite parts. We share all the greatest memories that we have and then go to bed. The day ends, and we move on.

We do not forget the movie, we live with it. We accept it and every part of it. And most importantly, we do not hold back from watching another one. We instead readily jump on the next chance to watch another one. We do this because it is not about the end, it is about the process. It is about the entire hour and a half we sit there living in the moment, happily eating our popcorn. Yes, the ending happens, but there is much more to the story. We thank ourselves for knowing this movie and all its great moments and then continue our day.

Life allows death. This is true, and we should know it. We should know what will happen when we hold our children for the first time. We should know what they will experience when they hold us for the last time. And we should know that one day will be our last. One day we will not make it to the next, and that’s okay.

Once we accept death, we can also accept life. We will not have to drink our sorrows away on the other side of town. We will not have to push away the ones closest to us. And we will not follow a belief system with no scientific logic and treat it as a fact just so that we can feel purposeful again. We will hold everyone around us and smile.

Yes, those people you hold will leave you, and yes you will leave those people, but every great movie is not about the ending it’s about the process