Who fakes having cancer!?!?

I know it sounds crazy but hear me out.

While I was going through Ovarion Cancer, a very rare type of cancer at that, I was accused of faking it. Why was I being accused? Apparently, it was because I didn’t show that I was deathly sick. My own family members thought that. As well as, people I use to call my friends. I didn’t look like I was dying or I had surgery. They thought I was making it up. (Sighs).

Now, for me having cancer wasn’t something I didn’t expect to have eventually. Before I got the official disagnosis, I had to have emergency surgery to get a large tumor removed from my abdomen. I was inside of the emergency room going through a shit load of scans, tests, & then trying to find a way to help my chest pressure. When I’m finally admitted to the hospital, the doctors couldn’t figure out what this huge mass was. They went back & fourth(5 doctors in total), on whether or not to immediately do surgery & what type of surgery would work due to the placement of the mass. I was inside of the hospital for 5 days.

That was the first surgery. I was officially diagnosed by my surgeon a few weeks later. Due to me saying fuck it & let it eat me. I ignored my doctors. No one knew of my diagnosis but me. I didn’t trust a single soul. So, I told no one. It was my own burden. I went back to work & continued on with my days. I wanted a regular birthday. I wanted regular days. It wasn’t until the doctors harassed my mom to the point where she forced me to go the appointment. That’s the day I fucking dreaded most.

I was told that day that I need another surgery. That wasn’t all though. They said, they would try to cut my completely open. They would have to remove the right ovary & Fallopian tube. They hoped that’s all they’d have to do. They gave me the option after surgery to freeze some of my eggs. When it was all said in done, I did get cut open. From about 3 1/2 inches before my ribs all the way to the top of my vagina. That’s how big the scar is.

A month after surgery I started the fertility process of removing my eggs. In February, I would start my 6 rounds of intense chemotherapy with a 3 week block. The first week of chemotherapy, I was taken to the emergency room for severe dehydration. My hair fell out in clumps, I could barely eat, & the nausea kicked my ass. My muscles would give out on me. I could barely walk to the bathroom. No one was around me. I was in a household of 7 people. Was barely checked up on. I would have to do everything myself. Barely healing from surgery & walking & crawling all over. I had to eat. I had to drink something. The percentage of help I had was around 20%. I had at least some & I would definitely do everything on my own.

Oh my goodness!!! I didn’t explain the timeline. Just to give you a bit of what I was going through. That year, 2016, my uncle was arrested & I was at his house then. I started going back to school & working part time. I even went on a short trip to Vegas, a surprise by my sisters. I was almost done my semester when all this happened. Literally, was at my doctors a few days before having to go to emergency room. My doctor, who I fucking appreciate more & more everyday, thought something was wrong & immediately ordered scans & blood tests. She felt something in my abdomen that shouldn’t be there. She believed me when I said something wasn’t right.

So, 22nd of September, I see my doctor. From the 25th to the 29th, inside the hospital. Talked to the surgeon in the middle of October. My birthday was the 12th of November, was 22 turning 23 at the time. On the 29th of November, I recieved a phone call from my surgeon to go get tests, scans, & made an appointment to see my new Gyno-oncologist. On the 1st of December, I meet my new doctor & we go over the plan she made for me. The 7th of December, surgery day & I stayed until the 11th. Follow up visit, on the 29th. I see my new primary doctor( I added a second primary doctor because I knew the doctors plus my mom worked there) on the 5th of January of 2017. The 9th, I meet my new fertility doctor. The 10th, I start the process. From then til February 3rd, I had 6 appointments & the procedure. Not the 13th chemo started & on the 17th to 18th in the emergency room for severe dehydration.

The following dates are of my infusions- Feb. 13, Mar. 6, Mar. 27, Apr. 17, May 8, & June 5. Between those dates are visits of complications from the chemotherapy. A total of 4 visits in between. My parents did go to my infusions & I appreciate that support. I wasn’t a fan of what happened during those times but it was nice to know I didn’t have to sit by myself. Every 3 month from June 5th I would visit my gyno-oncologists & have tests done. Oh yeah!!! In January of 2018, I was raped by someone who I thought was my friend. That’s a whole other story though.

A month after my final chemo round I started working. Not because I wanted to. My doctors, social workers, & therapist at the time, did not want me to work. But they said as long as I feel up to it then I could but nothing too stressful. I lost my right to my frozen eggs because no one paid to keep them. I though my mom did because she said she did & would. She never did. Also, more emergency room visits in between from the effects of chemo. I was seeing a total of 5 different people every month after my last round of chemo. My CRPN wanted me to be evaluated & that’s when I stopped going. I mean she was worried about me the entire time but after the 8th of November in 2018 I stopped going. I am going now in 2020.

I wish I could make up all the shit I’ve been through. But none of it is fiction. I wrote out the facts. The timelines. Of course, there’s been things going on in between all of this. I’m still alive for now, so hopefully I continue to live on. I mean, I’m going to school. I’m starting a new career. I’ve been finding peace within myself. So, officially 3 years post, & re-finding who I am. I am happy to say I’m doing pretty good. Cancer sucks & none of it is fun. Thank you for reading if you did. I know it’s long so I get it. I appreciate it a lot. I hope you have a great day, weeks, & month. Please stay safe & wear a mask.