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When Physical Health Becomes Mental Health

They're mutually exclusive

By Emma MarshallPublished 4 years ago 4 min read
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I went to see a new GP the other day. I had to change again after having to move home to my parents' spare room in the middle of nowhere after becoming seriously ill earlier in the year.

I had a letter from my therapist, plus all my most recent medical notes about my situation for him to have a look at. The letter essentially said "Emma has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

The GP looked at my notes and looked at the letter and said, "So why do you have PTSD?"

I simply said, "Because of this."

I went in again and saw another GP. He had read my notes, he'd read the letter and read the file, yet his questioning was significantly more triggering. He questioned my condition, which is mold poisoning (where you are poisoned by the spores given off by toxic mold), he didn't believe it was a scientifically proven condition (it is) and he said those dreaded words that I hate more than anything... "But you look fine?!" Coming from a man who has never met me, or know what I look like when I'm healthy. This entire conversation was extremely triggering and I left in tears.

The issue I had with this encounter, beyond the ignorant comments about my physical health, was that I am a patient who has been diagnosed with PTSD. That diagnosis alone should be enough for a medical professional to stop with unsolicited, opinion-based conversation. Yet he chose to question everything about the experience due to beliefs like we were arguing about religion or politics and completely disregard how traumatic this has all been. In my eyes, he just didn't care. He just wanted to be right.

Mental health is a huge topic worldwide. Anxiety and depression figures are at an all time high and all GPs tend to do is send you on your way with a prescription for anti-depressants. There is no awareness, no understanding or fundamentally no proper treatment or system in place to help those who are traumatised.

Getting seriously ill really does destroy your life. It doesn't mean it's forever, but in that moment, everything you know of as normality is taken away. It takes away your identity and your independence, let alone the trauma of treatment, which is usually more painful and worse than the condition or disease itself. It's a very confusing time for someone. It takes a lot of strength and a lot of rebuilding.

Yet we still have medical professionals who have absolutely no understanding or idea as to why their patients are traumatised? This baffles me. Mental and physical health are mutually exclusive.

If your physical health is in bits, the likelihood your mental health will suffer due to the trauma of it all is increased. If your mental health is in bits, there is a lot of evidence-based research coming through about the gut-brain connection due to the vagus nerve. If your gut is in bits due to things like diet, antibiotic use, pathogens or stealth infections, the likelihood is your mental health will be suffering. They are completely symbiotic. No one teaches you this, no one is told this, you have to know where to search for it.

So. Because no GP will tell you this, here's some advice from me below on what I've learnt along the way.

You're told to think positive and put on a brave face, to do your affirmations and to stay grateful. But when your body doesn't work and your life has been circumstantially destroyed, sometimes it's ok to want to die. Sometimes it's ok to want to give up and sometimes its ok to cry and cry until no more tears come out, because, just like everything else, this is all temporary. Everything is temporary, nothing is permanent, none of the good feelings and none of the bad feelings, everything is constantly changing.

This is what we need to teach and remind each other, that whatever hardship you're going through, it's just not forever. Trauma can be healed, the physical can be healed, but take your time to process and feel what you need to feel. Observe it, understand it and remember to breathe. Work out your triggers and either stay away from them whilst you get help or work through them. Find a counsellor that you like and trust, that you can take these thoughts and feelings to a safe space and make sense of them all. Talking can be one of the most beneficial things that we can do for ourselves. Communication is key to recovery. Support is key to recovery.

Life is hard work, it's up and down, it is literally a rollercoaster, but rollercoasters can be fun if you surrender to it all.

mental health
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