What Can I Do If I'm Having Trouble Relaxing

Do you have a hard time relaxing? Do you feel that in many moments the pressure is over you? Do you feel very tired? If your answers are yes, these strategies can help.

"I have a hard time relaxing, I feel stressed all the time and I can't find a way to be calm." We live in a society in which more and more people have trouble having moments free of tension or with a very low tension load. There are more and more demands that the environment makes on us in order to adapt: study, specialize, work, have a family, etc.

So, it is possible to say that we are more exposed to stressors that can affect our health. For that reason, it is important to identify the cause of our problem and have resources to manage nerves and tension. Otherwise, we are likely to end up succumbing to the pressure, producing different symptoms.

Why do I have a hard time relaxing?

At present, most people lead a fast-paced lifestyle full of occupations. Working, studying, taking care of family, hanging out with friends, sometimes even things that should be fun, cease to be fun. Suddenly, they begin to feel like an obligation to which we must devote time before moving on to the next one.

To this, we must add the consequences of the pandemic. People have had to go through periods of social isolation. In addition, many had to face unemployment and adapt to new livelihoods.

"Since this situation started, I have a hard time relaxing and I just want everything to be as before." These are some phrases that it is possible to hear when people talk about this panorama. And studies indicate that the pandemic negatively impacted mental health, increasing stress, anxiety and depression in the population (Shah et al., 2021).

It is also important to mention that each of us has different ways of seeing reality depending on our experience. Sometimes, the perception of situations can be altered and we see reality in a way that harms us. In this way, it can be said that one's own thoughts could also be a stressor and self-talk is a good source of pressure.

If I have a hard time relaxing, what can I do?

Beyond the reasons why you may have trouble relaxing, it's important to take action on it. Chronic stress can severely affect mental and physical health. Precisely, to avoid it, we propose the following strategies.

1. Breathing exercises

Breathing is something we all do involuntarily. However, in situations where we need to decrease the feeling of pressure, taking control of this process can help us, and a lot.

Jerath et al. (2015) did a study on breathing as a self-regulation technique in cases of anxiety. Evidence shows that breathing helps reduce stress, and the intensity of negative emotions, and increases control over the autonomic nervous system.

Following this line, there are different breathing exercises that can promote a state of relaxation. Wherever you are, you can implement the following script:

• For four seconds, close your eyes and inhale through your nose.
• Hold the air for at least eight seconds (if it costs you, you can release it sooner).
• Expel the air through your mouth keeping your lips pursed for four seconds.
• Feel the relaxation for a minute and repeat the exercise.
• One of the keys to this technique being effective is that breathing must be diaphragmatic. That is, when inhaling, notice that your abdomen swells and keep your chest down. That means air is reaching your diaphragm and not just your lungs.

2. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a meditation-based therapy method that has been shown to reduce stress. A systematic assessment of mindfulness-based stress treatments found them to be effective in coping with anxiety, depression, and stress. It also enhanced self-awareness and compassion (Kriakous et al., 2021).

In this same sense, it is a simple exercise that you can do at home on your own. You just need a quiet place and wear comfortable clothes. Then, follow these steps:

• Sit or lie down with your back straight.
• Close your eyes and take a deep breath through your nose, feeling the diaphragm swell.
• Expel the air slowly with pursed lips.
• Keep your attention focused on the breath: feel how the air comes in and out, how your abdomen is inflated, body sensations, etc.
• If thoughts or images appear that may distract you from your breathing, don't try to forcibly suppress them. Keep relaxed and then turn your attention to the breath.

Although it seems simple, for someone who says "I have a hard time relaxing", it can be difficult to reach this state of relaxation. But, the only way to master exercise and enjoy its benefits is through practice.