We Need to Stop Fat Shaming Ourselves

If you google the phrase “fat shaming”, the first page of results is full of articles of why it's a bad thing to do (in case you weren’t aware) and ‘celebrities’ (ahem Piers Morgan) who have fat shamed others. But something no one ever talks about is fat shaming yourself. We are told over and over from advertising backlashes to telling elderly relatives it's not okay to treat someone like they are a bad person for being “fat”, (AKA not the usual perception of being a healthy weight) that fat shaming others is wrong - obviously because it is - but why is nothing ever said about fat shaming yourself?

“We are often quite good at being kind to others, but really quite unkind towards ourselves. Even if its not in the way we live, it's the way we talk to ourselves internally, its how critical we are of ourselves, how judgemental we are of ourselves. Some people really berate themselves in their whole internal dialogue. And when you consider that, how can we ever hope for a genuine sense of happiness in the mind when we give ourselves such a tough time? Kindness works both ways – we need to find a way of being kinder, a little softer, a bit more gentle towards ourselves, as well as to others''.

This was a quote from the Headspace meditation app, but it also definitely applies to fat shaming others vs ourselves as well.

Just the other day I glanced at myself in the mirror before going for a shower and found myself ~disgusted~ by the cellulite on my upper thigh and butt, before realising that I was being ridiculous because cellulite is a physiological part of a female human body. I also then realised that I had never seen the same kind of dimpling of the skin on men. I started to do some research and, despite almost every webpage I looked at essentially saying “yeah women get it but HERE’S HOW TO GET RID OF IT!”, I eventually found some actual science to explain that it is in fact as normal as you having skin and bones.

Estrogen means that women tend to store more fat than men, but where the fat is stored and the skin structure control where or how it is seen. Men are more likely to store fat in their abdomen, where their skin is thicker than the fat layer which means it does not protrude as much. Women, on the other hand, store most of their fat in their thighs and butt where the fat layer is thicker than their skin, therefore producing the dimpled effect. Another reason for this being more evident in thighs than stomachs is because of the way your leg muscles push the fat against the skin when they are moving. Which is why I highly doubt that the cellulite creams I saw advertised when researching this topic would work well enough to ~change the internal cell structure~ just by rubbing it into your skin. I am well aware that thighs wobble, skin stretches and limbs move… so why do I hate myself for having dimples on the back of my thighs???

So this is my first step in accepting my body and it's “flaws” (by society’s standards...thanks airbrush), rather than flip flopping between ignoring them and downright pretending they don't exist. Yes I have cellulite and dimpled skin on my legs and butt, but my legs walk me around all day every day and get me from A to B. Yes I have a nose that I think is far too big, but it allows me to breathe and to be able smell and taste things that I love. Yes my stomach is a bit podgy, but inside that is something that will allow me to one day create and safely carry a baby. Yes my ribs stick out a lot, often giving me a 4 boob effect, but they protect my lungs and allow me to breathe and survive painlessly day after day. Yes, I hate getting my period because it makes me feel like shit, but menstruating also means that I am healthy and strong enough to be capable of carrying a baby. All these things I think of as “flaws” are actually things that I should love and appreciate. My body is not me, my body is a shell that keeps me and my soul and personality alive and carries it where it wants to go.

So why is the dimpled skin on the back of my legs more important to society and, by extension, to me, than my mind, my personality, my talents, my compassion or my intelligence? The media bombard us with the narrative that the only way a woman can be successful is to be pretty, gorgeously tanned, impossibly tall and to weigh no more than 8 stone. Little girls do not grow up reading about incredible female scientists or musicians or inventors, instead we grow up learning that we should aspire to be the highly sexualised actors, models, singers and all other manner of female celebrities splattered across magazines and televisions. Their weight was consistently written and speculated about by tabloids and to this day weight loss products and skinny teas are advertised by newspapers and Instagram influencers alike. Little girls growing up with this narrative are told that if we were not thin, we were not worth anything, and this dangerous message is why we now live in a toxic culture where young people (boys and girls alike) are growing up with body dysmorphia and eating disorders to the point of death.

We take our bodies for granted on a daily basis and, when we do take a moment to notice them, the first thing we do is point out the parts of it that are inherently negative to us. This toxic mindset needs to change, or the unhealthy culture we have found ourselves in won’t. So yes, it is important to be mindful of not fat shaming others, which is something that as a society we seem to have mastered, but it is equally as important to not criticise ourselves, for the same things we would never do to others.