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Trailblazing the Way to Joy

Life lessons by Mom

By Tay EliasPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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Overgrowth Cleared Exposing Sunny New Trail & First Steps to Joy

At the time when the world was seeking the new vaccine, I started seeking my own medicine. I knew "normal" might come back but I didn't want normal. After the endless days of 2020; trying to be a successful stay at home parent of 3 children, a full-time working parent with the work load of 2 full time employees (due to hiring delays), a teacher of elementary school, book keeping for my partner's business, and with no chefs nor house keepers in sight... I was done and not returning to the real world; I put in my 2 weeks' notice.

I started to look for where joy had gone. She was so long gone I didn't know who she was anymore and if I would even recognize her when she decided to return. What had happened was that the coloring book of my life showed everyone else's page in bright color but my page left dark and untouched.

I mean it, I had no idea where to start, but decided to start with remembering my joy in childhood. The picture of my meekness next to huge tree trunks and the feeling of swinging so high I could fly across the Puget Sound swept through me. Inspired, I headed out to my backyard with you're more powerful than the basic scissors, Fiskar's telescoping loppers, swinging in my hands.

The abundance in nature was calling to me and the constraints of my yard, which were only bushes, not neighbors or busy roads, opened up my trapped mind to see how much more there really was out there for me. I searched for the perfect spot to start clearing back the overgrowth and found myself before a dramatic patch of Salmonberries. With the loppers fully extended I hesitantly snipped and cut from afar. Keeping distance as to not get hurt at first, I made a dent and called it a day.

But now if I'm being honest here there was no plan to return after that day. I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't have a plan and as you may be able to tell I like a plan. I wasn't being useful, there was just no reason to what I was doing so why would I do it? I couldn't waste my time out in the woods when I was a mom, an adult who was supposed to be job hunting. Oh and don't forget there are still those dishes to do.

Busy, busy, always busy. Buy, buy, always need more to get by. Too much to do and too much to imagine to be done to ever relax because that relaxing comes after. After more money and after all the accomplishments only then will I be happy.

I stopped the car, mom's life race car, and again found myself approaching those Salmonberries. This time though they revealed to me that their threat of large thistles was actually a test of fine prickles. I could soon shorten the loppers to get a better grasp on the challenge ahead where a trail was forming.

Every day that I felt lost and useless in the real world I was drawn to the natural world. No one asked anything of me nor did I expect anything from myself there. I could just be me by myself; and that mind of mine was sure to keep me busy.

Rain boot deep with leaves in my hair - chopping large branches and literally climbing, crawling, and pushing to get through. While I explored my mind, the trail grew. And though at times I needed to extend those loppers out again to keep distance from real thorns like Devil's Club, I now had gained the strength and intuition in myself to know when I truly needed to step back.

The days went on and Spring had sprung. The sun shone down on my work, light beaming at the head of the trail. In awe I felt something. I felt good. I had found the boundary line to not only my land but to my heart that had loved so much of the world around me that I forgot to love myself.

In the past I would find hobby passion in taking on projects with a lot of planning while ensuring that others were happy and satisfied with the results. This project was like no other, no planning and no seeking happiness for others - the results were mine and mine to share. So today I am sharing with you all my first project that led to my page being colored in.

I hope at the end of your day that you too can say you were able to cut back the overgrowth to expose the light behind the darkness.

wellness
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About the Creator

Tay Elias

I quit my job recently and have spent many a googles since then trying to figure out what next. Enough googles mixed with some cookies and I received a sign. It was an ad for a vocal plus challenge that I couldn't say no to!

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