The reality of gaslighting

As I sit by and watch these humans, physically change into different humans with different personalities, it sounds so crazy, right? Well, it is and not only crazy but dangerous. However, it is not just my eyes that take in the change. My energy, intuition, and digestive system can't deny something that the blind could feel. However many of them that deny it and call me crazy, when in reality they are crazy for coming in at 5'6 at the most, trying to convince me they are the 6'1 man I met multiple times as my everyday friend's boyfriend, she happens to be 5'9, I am only 5'3, therefore I know for a fact that they are not who they say think they are. It is disturbing, to say the least. As I vocalize the facts, this creature standing in at eye level to 5'6ish can't fathom the facts and it turns into a fight that will last until he thinks enough time has passed since that's all he uses as an apology, even when I lived with this person and my everyday friend for a few months and seen him be a boyfriend to my friend. After all, I just escaped a shit show and it was nice being in the embrace of real genuine people again, was it off sometime, absolutely, but was it this off, as off as the person I believed I escaped from, no it was not. There was a sense of consistency that I respected when I lived there.

Now it is my ex, who happens to call while I was living there and my friend asked, do you want me to tell him never to contact you again, not knowing she was about to pass away and to this particular ex of mine, he doesn't understand our dynamic at all and will use anything and I mean anything to prove he's right when he's not, he's simply is not right, but try telling him that and world war three breaks out. I mean try telling him that, while he's pretending to be 6'1 and a man, like the one I met awhile before living there, it's insulting, belittling and he drove me up the wall and to the loony bin four years ago and someone has given him and his broke ass, resentful energy access to me and I can't leave, because he is in my fathers' house and he terrorizes me like him and now he's here, dragging my life out.

When I knew him, he really covered up his sociopathic, disloyal, gaslighting behavior. He came back around through someone I really believed was a friend of mine and for what? To be a puppet of someone from my past and continue to hurt me and his true colors began gleaming recently.

I was unaware that this guy I dated in 2014 was such a narcissist as well as a gaslighter and the worse one, just a puppet of someone who will leave him to take the fall for his partner in literally crime. People always say that you don't see true colors until the end of the relationship, what I thought ended in 2015, well apparently didn't.

In between that time, I have gone through many, too many I feel, life-changing events that have changed my brain and made me aware of things I wasn't before, being humble and aware I would say is not a great combo. I decided to dig into this behavior that I don't tolerate since it won't let me go and be myself. Instead, he has begun beating me for no reason. Let me say this, I hate being anyone's so-called victim, when he knew me, I was fighting about anything and everything, he got his thrills from it. However, now that he forced himself into my little world, knowing I don't want him in it. He sees me as a resource and someone he can make money off of. Recent events have been upsetting, considering I now feel like a victim of his and his bullying, narcissistic behavior, worse yet, he has become a textbook narcissist. Something he was when I met him, but he played pretend real good. Just when I begin to have faith again and hope for the future, the moment I showed some progress in battling my severe depression, he flips on me and becomes everything I refuse to entertain, but this time I have no choice. He has taken over every place that happiness blooms.

I ended up doing some research on his behavior and my conclusions were astounding. It felt like someone was writing about me personally. I am going to have a second part to this story, so please stay tuned. With inn the gruesome and destructive tendencies he has, I am afraid I will be another person who died from depression, only because his behavior and isolation have led me to believe that suicide is the only way out unless he physically beats me to death while he's actively listening to someone who won't take the fall for that. His puppeteering is going to lead to what addiction leads to, Jail, Institutions, and death.