The Over Thinker

Who overthinks a situation at some point or time? The answer is everyone. It is a defense mechanism for our brain. We play out scenarios so we are mentally prepared for them, we imagine worst case scenarios to cushion the blow if it ever happens. However, it is when we get caught up in our over thinking that becomes the problem.

We never mean to be too quick to judge but that is what happens, after all, we are only human. Through life experiences, we become more aware of the things we fear. Maybe as a child your parents argued a lot, and you may find in your relationships, you may overthink scenarios that either lead to arguments as it is what you are conditioned to, or, to fear arguments and avoid having a discussion with your partner as you may fear the result.

I will admit, I am guilty of overthinking. I was raised to be perfect, to be number one. That is a lot to try to live up to. However, the imprint it left on me is my fear of not having the perfect, happy relationship and the fear of not being good enough in my relationships. Granted, I never really selected the best partners in the past, I selected those that put me down at all costs. However now, that part has changed, but I do find myself trying to be the best girlfriend, the funniest girlfriend, the so on and so forth. I understand that my partner does not feel that I should be harsh towards myself, however, it can be a hard habit to break, a hard mentality to change. To this date, fighting it has been my greatest challenge but I continue to learn and grow and try to eliminate those thoughts.

Trying to be the best in a scenario is not a bad thing, but trying to be the best in every scenario, all the time, can be.

As humans and over thinkers, we become so wrapped up in our deep thoughts that are not even there, that are not even real, but we almost make it real because we are so fixated on them. It does not make you a bad person, it makes you human.

Ways you can cope with this is to try to breathe and remember to take one day at a time. You might be worried or overthinking if you will fail at something, or not succeed, or fear someone will run out of your life but that is not right now. It is not in the moment. It is important to try to live in the moment of right now as the future is never guaranteed, for anything, ever. It is important to appreciate the things you have right now, and look at what is working out for you right now. Afterall, life is like a box of chocolates, you never ko what you are going to get.

Some say to write down your thoughts you are over thinking, to get it out of your head on paper and just leave it there. Write down your fears and maybe write why you have these fears and how you plan to overcome them. Think of 10 things you are thankful for every time you overthink and think of 10 things amazing that you have right NOW and make them your focus. You will find you even may crack a smile at the small things that make you as happy as you are in that moment of writing them.

Try not to think of all the “what ifs” in the world today and just breathe. A large part of life is perception and how you perceive the things in your current situation will help you determine what Is really important to you.