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The Dualistic Nature of Wellness Leaks

How Neglect of One Area of Wellness Affects Others

By Your Pursuit of WellnessPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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The Dualistic Nature of Wellness Leaks
Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash

Our awareness of the areas of wellness is essential to finding fulfillment in our lives. Lack of awareness is nothing more than neglecting responsibility from a certain area or areas of wellness. This can appear in a variety of forms. It can show up financially by not checking our bank accounts because we are afraid of what we might find. It may emerge physically by not stepping on the scale or going to the doctor, because we are afraid to know what we feel is true. This awareness can even apply to spirituality by not checking in with ourselves or asking what deepest desires are. This is often because we are afraid of what we must do when we discover them.

The reason we lack awareness is centered around the fear of not being where we believe we “should” be. This often comes from a social trigger that formed in you when you were young. Examples of this include: “you should not be in debt”, “you should not be overweight”, “you should get a secure job”, or “you should be a good friend”. However, these triggers are based on ideals which restrict us from being who we want to be. Living the ideals of another only creates conflict in our own lives, and we deal with this conflict by ignoring these “problem” areas of wellness and hold onto the areas of wellness that we believe we are good at.

It is a dualistic problem; when we lack in a particular area, we attempt to control another. When we attempt to control an area of wellness, we create an identity around it. For example, if we are physically out of shape, we do not simply acknowledge this state and then act with importance and urgency towards the “problem”. Instead, we run from the fear that we are out of shape. If only running from fear burned calories, but I digress. We then cling onto a “good” area of wellness, say our jobs, and tell ourselves to put more energy towards our “good” areas. We make a deal with ourselves that it is okay to neglect our physical health because we are doing so well professionally.

This dualistic problem creates a leak which starts with one area of wellness and quickly expands to the other areas as our “good” areas start to become our identity. This could look like the following:

Sarah, 32 years of age, has recently been promoted to Vice President of her top tier corporate company. She is making a great six figure salary and lives in downtown Chicago. Go Sarah! She also has been neglecting her body and tells her coworkers every few weeks that she is excited to start going to gym again. Unfortunately, Sarah has not gone to the gym in over two years, nor has she been particularly keen on her diet. She also has not stepped on a scale outside of the doctor’s office. This year she makes the resolution to go to the gym 4 times a week and start tracking her calories in My Fitness Pal. This lofty ambition is quickly forgotten when an urgent request comes in from the Managing Director. No Sarah!

Fast forward three months, and she is back in her loop. Neglecting her body and forcing herself to complete her nights work with two cans of Red Bull. As she looks in the mirror, shame and guilt rise from her gut. She hates her body with every essence of her being. What does she do now? She works. She works two to three hours more a day and sometimes weekends because somewhere deep down she feels as if she is being validated. In a few more years she hopes to be a Senior Vice President. Now the physical area of wellness has started to leak into her romantic life. She no longer dates because she is afraid to post a new picture on dating apps or meet new guys because she does not like how she looks. This leak even goes into her social life. She only meets up with friends after a few too many drinks at a work happy hour.

We see this loop continue for another six months until professional wellness has become her identity. She does not go out. She declines phone calls from family and friends. She does not ask herself the bigger questions. She stopped painting, her creative outlet. She impulse shops on Amazon for serotonin which leaves her bank account quite meek. She became her work and in turn lost connection to herself.

Now this is an extreme example, but it is based on a dear friend of mine. As these wellness leaks come up, bring love and awareness to yourself. To your whole self. We must acknowledge where we are on our journey of wellness and be in the present moment. Any other moment is clouded with the judgement of the past or riddled with anxiety of the future. From no other place but the present moment we can see, and we can act.

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About the Creator

Your Pursuit of Wellness

At Your Pursuit of Wellness, (uPOW), our mission is to motivate, inspire, and inform you on your personal journey of self-fulfillment by bringing awareness to the multifaceted nature of wellness.

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