Tarot Saved My Life

My passion in life sort of just found me. I come from a long line of teen moms and unfortunately for the beautiful women who came before me, work and raising a family was all they knew. They wanted me to pursue a dream but as far as helping me obtain a dream? Forget about it. I was on my own. I managed to make it through my teens unscathed and avoided following in their footsteps. I tried going to college, but I had no clue who I was let alone what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I dropped out, fell in love with an incredibly emotionally unavailable person, and got a job driving a forklift. And that was my life for three long years. Time was irrelevant then and to this day I struggle to remember much about those years. My life was deprived of any passion. Almost like my body was in auto pilot mode and my brain was checked out. Even though I had no kids, I still did exactly like the women before me.

I had a Facebook friend at the time who would post about tarot on her page. She did card readings, and the cards were supposed to answer questions about your life. Her knowledge of the occult and wise words intrigued me. I paid her to do a love reading on me and she sent me the results. She basically said my relationship wouldn’t work because my partner wasn’t willing to try any longer.

Her prediction ended up being right and soon after I found myself packing up everything I owned and shoving it into a little storage unit. Funny how when your world comes crashing down all around you, everyone else manages to keep breathing. I was so angry at the time. I pushed my emotions away into a little box and continued moving forward.

I moved into a new apartment that I paid for all on my own. It was incredibly difficult to survive. However, I was determined to do it independently and take care of my cats (and myself). I went back to college to obtain a BA in Communication. I kept my job and tried to rekindle the friendships that I did have.

I rebuilt a new life. It was at this point that I realized one thing I desperately needed was a hobby. Growing up, I never had hobbies. I’m the oldest of six children. My family could barely afford to feed and clothe me, let alone give me the funds to explore my creativity. It’d be up to me to do that for myself. Tarot had been in the back of my mind for a while, and I still believed the reading I’d received months ago accurately predicted my impending breakup.

For me, tarot felt like receiving a secret message from the universe that revealed some cheat code with information on what to do next in my life. Subconsciously the thought never left my mind, and it didn’t take long before I went to the mall with a friend and a tarot deck caught my eye. The deck was blue and had all sorts of whimsical art that was mainly mythology inspired. It called out to me and so I purchased it.

My hobby started off small. I got to know my deck by doing 3 card readings on myself. I would ask a question like “Where is my job leading me” and I’d pull one card representing the past with my job, one representing where I stand there currently, and another representing my future there. I had a hard time reading myself in the beginning. I was still so closed off from my emotions that I couldn’t truly hear my inner voice.

The real magic began when I started reading others. My sister and her girlfriend let me practice on them. They both were shocked when the cards came up completely accurate. Whether it was real or not, having something to learn about and share with others ignited a spark inside myself that had been long dead. Within a week I’d purchased books on how to read tarot and was devouring YouTube videos and joining Facebook groups to meet other people in the tarot community.

I took these people’s advice and bought a journal to start writing down the predictions I was making with my cards. My readings were particularly negative when it came to my job. They called out how toxic the work environment was and how unhappy I was there. Sure enough, I gained the courage to listen to my cards and I quit. Miraculously things worked out in my favor, and I financially stayed afloat. I went back and reread my journal entries and everything I had predicted played out, just like I said it would.

I wanted to share this and practice on other people, so I started posting on social media offering free readings. Sure enough, people were fascinated with tarot and wanted to be read. Every time I pulled a card for somebody, they would be surprised by the accuracy of the reading. I had all this pent-up energy in me that wanted purpose in my life. In time my personal readings showed me over and over the areas I needed to focus on myself and as I began to heal, I wanted to help others heal as well.

Over time I started learning tools to help take my practice to the next level. There was a night a friend of mine came over and we were drinking wine and pulling cards trying to contact our deceased loved ones (Yeah I’m aware how sketchy that sounds). It was an experience I’ll never forget. Spirit did come communicate through the cards. However, I did learn my lesson when the following day I had absolutely no energy. That experience taught me I needed to protect my energy. I started doing a grounding meditation before I read to clear my energy and set out crystals and candles to help channel the energy I was receiving.

Tarot works by tapping into intuition. The cards show me what my subconscious mind already knows to be true. They basically just reaffirm what you truly want and show a way to obtain it. I can feel others energy as well and even hear key words while I read the cards. It’s wild and difficult to really explain to people who don’t believe in this sort of thing. And to that I say it’s perfectly acceptable not to believe. I never want to convince anyone this is real. Instead, I would rather spend my energy, love, and time guiding those who do believe on the right path.

In December of 2020 I finished my bachelor's in communication. My degree helped enhance my ability to effectively convey the messages and feeling the cards were sending me into a full articulate thought. Being able to express feelings into logic is a gift of mine that I soon learned not everyone possesses and is something I am now proud of. Tarot quickly became more than just my hobby. It became my passion.

My cards started becoming a thing I always grabbed before I’d leave my house to visit anybody. I remember the first time I ever brought my cards over to my parents' house. My stepmom and I have always had a strained relationship. She’s a very Christian woman and I expected her to be closed minded about tarot. Much to my surprise, she gave me permission to read her (permission is vital). During the reading, I called out some of the struggles she was having with her own mother and how her dreams were giving her clues on how to solve the problems in their relationships. She teared up and told me that the cards were spot on. In the months to follow, she invited her mother over to the house more often and made more of an effort to call her and work on their relationship. Watching them grow closer and closer due to a spark my cards ignited was a true pleasure.

About a year after my big breakup, I met someone new. Our connection was unlike anything I’d ever felt before. He was funny and kind and patient with me. He accepted my flaws and laughed at my jokes. He helped me feel whole again. The love he showed me quickly made me realize that in order to fully love him how he deserved, I'd have to work harder on myself to heal. I introduced him to tarot, and he was fascinated with just how eerily accurate the cards were about his past. They brought up things we had never spoken about, and it was a nice easy way to disclose personal information in those early months. He went out and bought himself a deck.

We would read cards together and validate the messages each other received by pulling cards out of our deck. This really solidified my faith in tarot because I would end up pulling the exact same cards he had! Tarot became a great tool to help us solve problems that arose in our relationship. My cards always had my back and called out any toxic patterns either of us were repeating. This called in a major period of healing (for both of us). All that emotion from my childhood and past relationship I’d buried down deep start bubbling up. I meditated, pushed people out of my life that the cards said were unhealthy for me to be around, quit my job, started painting, confronted my family on issues I was dealing, and above all I learned how to be whole again.

Within time, I didn’t need the cards so much to connect with my intuition and higher self. The cards were a buffer between me in the present and what I was refusing to face deep in my subconscious mind. More and more of my friends/acquaintances were messaging me asking for readings and my knowledge of the cards grew. It was getting to the point where I had at least half the deck memorized (a tarot deck contains 78 cards) and no longer needed to look up the meanings of the cards.

My hairdresser/friend told me about a client of hers that’s a psychic medium. She knew all kinds of personal things about her that she’d mention during their appointments, and it intrigued her to book a session. After hearing about her reading, I was intrigued myself. I contacted the medium and set up readings for both myself and my boyfriend.

My boyfriend’s reading was exceptional! The medium channeled his grandfather. She knew all about him growing up riding dirt bikes, his boxing career, and even predicted that we would get married! She told him to get back to fishing and meditating and that it would help him heal from his past. It was like she was giving him a to do list from the afterlife on how to live a better life. This noticeably relaxed him and after such a devastating year (2020), it was a glimmer of hope that things would never be the same but that what’s to come might be even better.

A week passed and it was time for me to be read. The medium gave me a very different reading. My relatives kept assuring me that they were okay in the afterlife. My cousin is recently deceased, and he came forward. He kept telling me about his dark life and the reading made me sad. It wasn’t anything like what my boyfriend received. However, he mentioned that I need to keep doing tarot and that I would end up doing it as a career. She saw me sitting at a desk doing live zoom readings for people and having my own booth in a salon where people would come to get read by me.

I walked away from that reading feeling disappointed. How on Earth could I turn card reading into a path? Who would pay for that?

Ironically my best friend's sister had been asking me to read for her. I did an extensive reading that same day with her and touched on many key problems she was dealing with. She was so blown away she sent me a $15 tip on Venmo. I took it as a sign to proceed.

Word of mouth got around, and people began messaging me through Instagram and email asking if I would read them as well. A few of these readings really stood out to me and I’ll change the names for privacy's sake:

Lexi was struggling in her relationship with her child’s father. He was acting immature and as much as she didn’t want to walk away from him due to her own father abandoning her as a child, she was questioning if she should. She contacted me for a reading. My cards told her that he was playing the role of the victim and that if she stayed with him, he would be dead weight in her life. He had too many people around him to enable his toxic behavior and would eventually drag her down too. It would be best for her and him if they separated while their daughter was still young and could salvage an acquaintanceship. Within a week she left him and still hasn’t looked back. She’s absolutely glowing now and living life for herself.

Jessica is a single mom of two boys. After her divorce four years ago, she still hasn’t settled down again with a new man. Being in a relationship is very important to her. Jessica is very conventionally attractive and struggles to find men that are interested in her intelligence and not just her looks. This prompted her to go back to school for a nursing degree. I did a reading on her, and the cards showed that she didn’t need to go to school. Her interest in college was just to prove to people that she’s more than a pretty face. The job she already had was going to turn into a career and she was better off investing her time and energy into her children. Sure enough, after the reading was over, she dropped out of college and the very next day her boss told her a manager was leaving the company and wanted all his clients to go to her. She wouldn’t have been able to accept the new career opportunity if she were in school.

Tomas had hit an all-time low after working long hours through the pandemic to help meet customer demands. His best friend/coworker contracted Covid and unfortunately suffered organ failure and died in the hospital. A once lively person had succumbed to circumstantial depression and was losing hope during a terribly troubling time for our nation. I reached out and offered him a free reading. The cards told him that even though he was struggling on the outside, at the core he was still the same vibrant and fun person. He just needed to allow himself to feel these emotions so he could move on and that it was completely okay for him to struggle. The macho culture he grew up in was preventing him from healing, but the reading I did validated that. Within a week he was sharing videos of himself smiling again and laughing, BBQing, and working on his car just like his old self. My message resonated and brought some life back into him.

Joseph was struggling with a mental block. He knew he needed to heal but couldn’t recall why he was so troubled. I pulled the cards and after viewing the deck, I told him that he needed to brace himself before I could carry on because what he repressed was done on purpose to protect himself. He immediately curled up into fetal position and began to bawl. He let out emotions he’d been burying deep inside since his childhood. After our session, he was able to get in contact with his health care provider and seek professional help for his trauma. He is now working his dream job and has done an incredible job of healing.

Each of these people noticeably changed after our sessions together. Tarot guided me to the path of healing and now, I was finally able to help facilitate the same for others. I began widening my outreach through social media platforms and gained a new audience of people looking for some guidance. TikTok has been the most successful platform by far to share my tarot readings with. I’ve kept it short sweet and to the point while also participating in a community of like-minded souls who want to heal and live meaningful healthy lives.

People follow me because many of them watched me change. I quite literally am glowing now compared to the sad person I used to be. Having this hobby not only gave me something new to devote my free time to, it saved my life. I don’t think I could’ve healed myself like I did without it. I was so closed off to my intuition and had no faith in myself before.

Tarot is my passion because it helped me heal parts of myself I’d long neglected. My intention on this path is to be a light in a dark time for our country. Many have suffered from this pandemic and their mental health has taken a blow. I in no way am comparing myself to trained medical professionals. However, I do think tarot is a great tool that can guide people in the right direction. I’ve advised people to seek counseling, mend relationships, work on themselves, and have also congratulated and encouraged them to stay on the path they already chose in life. I find a little outside reassurance during these dark times has gone quite a long way.

In a perfect world, I would book readings throughout my week and meet with clients from all over the world through zoom sessions. I'm an outgoing, open minded, and educated young lady who has a serious passion for healing, and I notice how infectious that has become just in my personal life. I can’t go anywhere anymore without having a conversation with someone about healing and how important it is to love yourself in this life. I want to keep this momentum going and make it a lifelong career!

I would like to create an online community where others like me could meet for weekly zoom sessions. These sessions would be a variety of things like classes on tarot, communication courses, and just open sessions to check in with people who maybe need somewhere safe to talk about what’s going on with them. We would discuss our own healing journeys, talk about tarot, and I could give tips and advice. I’d love to help youth that is interested in tarot but doesn’t have a safe space to express this interest. With tarot, there are thousands of variations in the craft, and I’d love to learn more about it from other experienced individuals.

This community-based website could include links to mental health care providers, local holistic centers in the viewers area that host tarot and related classes, and even give links to free services that could save lives. The pandemic was a difficult time for everyone and there’s no doubt the psychological effects will last a generation. Not everyone is comfortable talking about their feelings. However, I find that tarot offers a nice buffer to just get the conversation started about mental health.

Validating others struggles while facilitating healing by leading the way is what I'm most passionate about. This website I want to build and the future I foresee with tarot can change lives. Whether you believe in the occult or not, it’s hard for me to deny that it helps people heal. With so much division here in the United States, I truly believe healing at the individual level will have a trickling effect that could help turn things around for the future generations of America. I don’t want to be part of the problem anymore, so I’m dedicating my life to being part of the solution.