Take a Walk

If I had the power to teleport myself to any open space in the middle of nature, a space away from the noisy street, overwhelming technology, to a space away from my problems…I would probably choose to teleport to an infinite green field in Switzerland. Unfortunately, my human ordinary self can’t do this, but I discovered an alternative practice that brings me the peace and quiet that my body and mind deserve.

I live in Brooklyn, New York. I share an apartment with three other roommates and along with our home, the four of us have shared the pandemic, the protests, and the overall trauma from 2020. I began quarantine with losing my job, ending a relationship, and slowly trying to figure out my emotions. Most of my free time entertained my curiosity with everything I never had time to do, things like; writing, reading, drawing, learning, and meditating. The latest is the most important one.

I started to explore the wisdom of yoga, meditation, and self-awareness. First, I took some online classes from Yoga Vida, back when they offered free Instagram yoga classes. Then, I grew more curious about reaching inner peace. Meditation seems like the answer. However, finding this answer was only the beginning of the actual equation.

When I first tried to meditate I found myself trying to focus on my breathing, dodging any intrusive thoughts or daydreams, attempting to reach complete concentration—It’s exhausting. Trying to meditate is the most challenging practice because to reach that stillness one must completely give in to themselves—one has to stop trying, stop thinking, stop worrying, stop striving. It’s not for the light hearted, meditation is the CrossFit of mind workouts. And trying to pursue this practice inside a room, which could be confused for a closet, while your roommates’ pets chase each other around, and then the ambulance siren, and the coffee grinder, and your roommate’s podcast—I can’t focus! This chaos floods my mind. There were few occasions where I was able to finish a full meditation practice without caving into my frustration. But most days, I couldn’t handle the noise and the confinement, so I take a break and decide to go for a walk.

After sweeping meditation under the rug, I decided that maybe all I need was space, outdoors, sunlight, and fresh air to calm my busy mind. Earphones on, and the playlist begins. My tailor-made playlist starts to color my ears with rhythm and beats, a playlist to untangle my nest of emotions. Feelings are rushing to my ears to dance with the music, and my eyes bounce from building to tree, from tree to pedestrian, and I thought to myself “what a beautiful day”. I few block pass, I notice a building’s front yard was newly styled with the season’s blooming flowers while the bees have a ball buzzing towards all that honey, honey. I watch as the neighborhood abandons their homes to dress the streets with reviving life.

Finally, I’m entering the neighborhood park just as my latest favorite song starts playing, “Killing Me Softly With His Song” by Roberta Flack. It’s a weekday, the park is pretty full for a Tuesday. Mostly, I see people working out, running or doing yoga. I wonder how they self-motivate themselves to be so disciplined. As I make my way to the open grass area, I find a nice shady spot where I can people watch.

Mothers cross the pavement while pushing strollers full of early life, runners are fighting the heat to reach their training goals, and others like myself, are gracefully watching and enjoying the shade. Dogs running around with their owners chasing after them, some bikers are crossing the park dodging people, dogs, strollers, and anything in between.

An hour has passed since I left my apartment, since I left the chaos. One hour spent here and now. As I write about this, I struggle to express my feelings towards this style of meditation, a style which may not have an accurate term. I found my inner-peace as soon as I stopped chasing it, and I meditated in a way that I had never been introduced to. All it takes is relaxation of the mind, separation from worries, and a break from wanting or longing to accomplish anything.

What I needed when I tried to meditate was a little alleviation from my agitated household, my worries about the pandemic and constant interactions. I don’t think most of us realize how toxic it is to be surrounded by the same four walls for this long, following an abrupt change on our usual lifestyle. I needed, for my own sanity, to abandon the constant reminders of what’s going on in our planet. I had to take a break from social interactions within my household because all of our recent conversations circle around our traumas. I needed some isolation.

Before the pandemic, I had found isolation in my commute to work. I left the conversations from home at home, the conversations from work in the office, and my social conversations were left for the next interaction. I had more control over which thoughts come to light at a given place, for the given people, etc. Once in quarantine, everything blurred together. It was too much to handle. I worried about my jobless status, my more distant than ever relationships, and constant home life. On one hand, I had more time to start up new hobbies and explore different things, but on the other hand, I had no escape from my emotions and overbearing thoughts. I couldn’t just have a bad morning and go to work, leaving that bad morning at home. I couldn’t have a fun night out only to enjoy the next day in my longing home. My roommates were no longer casual interactions, they’re now my apocalypse family. Meditation was no longer an interest—it was a necessity.

I found that by going on walks I was letting my energy go out into the open. All my tensions shaken off with every step. My worries I deluded in my music, and my desires were left at home for future frying. The simple act of stepping outside of my building and removing myself from my four walls, away from all the reminders that we are in a pandemic, leaving my home life at home for just little while. It was all I needed.

Maybe an infinite green field in Switzerland would bring me to another level of inner peace and help me with the practice of meditation, but my alternative practice is accessible, simple and more enriching than I had expected.

As this year moves along, a lot of us keep anticipating the return to normal. We keep convincing ourselves that this all will pass, but I want to invite you to rethink this thought. Not only is the return to normal an ambitious goal, but we can’t sit and wait for this long. It’s been almost five months that we’ve had to adjust ourselves, five months of cascades of news—news that we’d expect only from Hollywood movies. And on top of this huge adjustment, social injustices are coming to light. Everything that is wrong with the world, society, politics, capitalism, and economics is coming to light all during a world pandemic.

The world has us paralyzed, while the news carries our eyes towards panic. It is essential that we find a way to separate ourselves from these constant reminders of chaos. If we can’t be at peace with ourselves, we can’t expect to project peace to the world. It’s time to look inward, see where all this emotional turmoil is coming from, break it down and learn to embrace it. It’s not easy, but once you reach it within yourself, you will feel a sense of liberation that gives room for positive energy. You will reach a point where your mind no longer is worried about tomorrow, or yesterday. Where your body is aware of its impact on the world, of its participation being a part of this world. Focus on the moment where the sun hits your face and your skin absorbs vitamin D, and your lungs fill with oxygen from the trees that provide you shade when the sun begins to burn. Let is sink.

Take a walk. Listen to your favorite music and look around you. Notice the people in your neighborhood, notice the buildings and how the light bounces from wall to window, and how the shade from the trees draws a black and white picture on the pavement. Think of the movement outside, gather all tense energy within you and leave it behind every step you take, and with every new step welcome positivity. Take a minute to step outside and go as far as you want—five blocks, two blocks, six miles—go anywhere, but just go. Life might seem like a movie right now, but that doesn’t mean that we should watch it from our screens.