We don’t know what people go through. We may see their smile (how they appear on the outside), but we can’t see their pain (inner feelings).
The old saying “it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it” is a true statement. You can say something in a positive way to build a person up, or you can say something in a negative way, to tear a person down. Actions speak louder than words. If you cussed that person out, most likely, you meant to. As the old folks say, “what’s in you is gonna come out.” Some people are mature enough to apologize. Others could care less. We just have to be more careful with our words.
The person we see as the class clown that makes everybody laugh could be going through depression. The person we view as the nerd, teacher’s pet, smart aleck, whatever you choose to call the person, could be at home studying to make their grades better, or could be at home harming themselves due to a lack of self-love. A lack of self-love can lead to suicide.
When people commit suicide, it’s like breaking news on tv. Everybody has their theories, their feedback, their opinions, etc. They think that they have all the facts because the person was an addict of some sort, (drugs, alcohol), their sexuality, the people they hang out with. It’s like they become detectives so to speak, by “trying to put the pieces together.” But there’s really no conclusion to arrive at.
There’s no conclusion to arrive at because that person knew what was going on in their lives. We try to figure out what happened to them as adults, but we never know what they went through during their childhood or teenage years. Something happened during that time frame that sparked their emotional pain.
Abuse of some sort, whether physical, sexual, mental, or verbal, sometimes all four. Domestic violence against a parent. Alcoholic parents, drug addicted parents. As a child, that’s confusing, and you don’t know how to process it, but it follows you as you get older.
We all have problems and sometimes we are told to suck it up and get over it. Well, news flash, its not that simple. If we could suck it up and get over it, suicide wouldn’t exist. There are people that give up on themselves because they feel that they have nothing else to live for, nobody cares about them, or they feel misunderstood. Sometimes, the addiction that they have overpowers their mind.
Whatever method the person has chosen to use, suicide is shocking. I know one thing that gets me is when people say, “I didn’t know they had problems.” “I don’t understand why they did it” “I don’t know why they did it.” The first sets of all those sentences are exactly what I am talking about. “I didn’t know,” “I don’t understand,” “I don’t know why.” That’s why I say it’s shocking.
When a family member takes their life, it’s even worse. Theories really do present themselves then. “Well you know that he/she was on that “stuff” (referring to drugs), or he/she drank themselves to death because of this, that and the other. It takes death to bring families together and that’s quite sad.
To conclude my story, I want to say, suicide is real. When a person tells you that they feel like they can’t go on any longer, life has no meaning, they have nothing to live for, start talking to them about the Lord and any other positive factors. It may just change their mind. But don’t turn your back on them because that could be the last time you hear their voice.