Spending The Day With An Old Person

I was going to get dressed, I kicked off my underwear in the bathroom on a pile of laundry that would be washed today. I went to make my bed and I found a pair of underwear forming a lump in my blankets. My first thought was, were they mine? Of course. Who else wears grannie panties and who else would be sleeping in my bed! Okay, that was just for a laugh! I didn’t really think that. But what I did think was, didn’t I just kick off some panties? Where did this pair come from?

I thought I would call my daughter and let her in on the joke and then I remembered that she doesn’t like the idea of the stories about her old mother having sex or even the thought of that or I think the picture of that going through her mind. She has been known to put her fingers in her ears and make noise when I am telling my best stories.

Next, I thought who can I tell. I know, I will write a story about this and other fun things that happen to older adults in a day or even a week. I may not have enough for a day.

Since it is morning, yesterday or last night, my husband says, “I pulled a Denise and I wore my sweatpants all day yesterday. That was pretty good.” I said, “Oops, I missed it, I didn’t even notice!” Then he says, “I was really hungry at dinner tonight, what did it cost you?” as he and two teen grandsons all had full sandwiches plus at Subway and I bought, he was curious. His social security or pension comes in today otherwise he buys when we go out to eat. I told him it was 50 something. He would’ve known to the penny as that is how he balances his checkbook. I don’t balance mine.

Well, I do look at my account occasionally. However, I just had a year-old check come through my account and didn’t realize it was still out. I gave it to a grandson for his birthday last April. I would have never known a 20 something could wait a year to cash a hundred-dollar check.

While waiting in line, one grandson says to his grandpa at the Subway, “What can we get?” He knows that Grandpa would like to get them the kid’s meal if he was buying, and since they are too big now, he may say a six-inch sub. But he said, “Whatever you want, grandma is buying!” Then he looks at me and I make a face at him and whisper, “I’ll get you, paybacks…!”

Okay, so maybe I won’t write a full week of fun and keep it to just this one day.

We had to drive to town for a tax appointment, then go to the post office to mail a package to a February contest winner in another town, then to the print shop to print a small book to give to a contestant from the nonsense poetry contest from way back in February.

I mentioned to my husband how those contests I run can get expensive. $5.00 at the post office, for the least expensive postage.

Our printer quit working a while ago so I had 6 chapbooks I paid to have printed. Three for me, and one for each of the winning contestants. Then we went to pick up the grandchildren and bring them back to town. One had behind-the-wheel driver training while the other had a gift card to spend at target. We then took them home and go home ourselves. We probably put 150 miles on my car. This is why I have 240,000 miles on my 2015.

On the ride home, the grandson taking the behind-the-wheel asked to drive. Grandpa said yes probably as it was my car and not his new car. I am not sure that was a good idea with the other one in the car doing his best backseat driving as a newly completed classroom trainee.

He told his brother to slow down and drive the speed limit. He told him that his hands were in the wrong position. And as the driver went over on the edge of the road just a bit, little brother said, "Wait to go into the ditch until I have a crash cage back here."

Then it occurred to me that I should have been in the passenger seat, what was I thinking. Grandpa doesn’t stop at stop signs anymore. And he doesn’t see or hear the best either!! Then I had a fleeting thought, and it was gone, and I’m better?

What are people thinking, giving these kids permits to drive with licensed drivers like us? Wait isn’t there a test you have to take in your 70’s? He could pass a test though. I think?? He tells me he is saving gas by not coming to a complete stop. Does he believe that?

Now you have some idea how much fun we can be in just our everyday life.