Social Distancing with Friends

So now the term social distancing has become not just a rule of how we engage in public spaces but also a way of interacting with others even close friends and family. So, I went to visit with my friend who I have not been able to connect with physically for months and while there her daughter called, and she explained she to her that she was social distancing with me. I mentally went Wow! I am socially distancing not visiting with, or hanging out with my friend, but social distancing with her. You almost have to say it out aloud to hear it for it to register in your mind. Yep! People this is where the pandemic has brought us and no matter how hard we try; we just cannot seem to wake up from the sci-fi end time thriller. It is not so hard now to imagine a world where intimate touching becomes outlawed. Before 2020 it would have been unimaginable, but it certainly is not that farfetched anymore.

So, as I moved about the city socially distancing with friends and it made me a little bit lonely. I am from an island and we are friendly but not very huggee people. We hail and have real intense greetings and might touch you in our nonverbal expressions but are not huggers and kissers. So, I did not think social distancing would be this hard for me, but it is. My friends have always insisted on hugs because they know I am a tough cookie, but although reluctant over time it grew on me. Like an ugly sweater from a loved one. You want to throw it out, but over time your love for them just made it not look so ugly after all. And so now we are social distancing we must make the talking count, and moments of silence especially under a mask can be really awkward. So, if you are like me and your world has grown really small since the pandemic you will take it how you can get it but will have to adapt and grow.

With most of my family living back home my in-laws and few friends are all I have and so I will grapple with the concept and reality of social distancing to be able to maintain those relationships. I just chuckle at it a bit under my mask. And sometimes I do not take the kids with me because its harder to manage them and me social distancing. While I know they need to learn its just too much hassle. And I have experienced the panic from my friends when you do not follow the rules. And the truth is it can be a whole lot more awkward and even weird and kids sometimes do not know how to be politically correct. So, I avoid it all together. Not following social distancing or masking rules is like bouncing over an expensive vase. While it is an accident, they are trapped between unforgiveness and confusion of how to move forward. Because remember we are making the rules up as we go along. And as the CDC and the experts discover more about the virus everyday so our interactions with those who stay glued to the information changes. And keeping up can get crazy.

I am not trying to make light of the reality at all, but I am also being honest about how I am learning to adapt to the new norms. So, I allow my friends or family to dictate how they want a visit to be and I boost not only immune my system before and after but I boost my mental state for anything unexpected, awkward or even scary. Because new interactions stimulate an immune response but also human responses that before the pandemic were more tolerated. And if their expectations are beyond my comprehension, I try harder now to respect and comply, and I keep my mask on in case sometimes I become amused at the unamusing experiences. The benefit of the mask right, to hide your unwanted or unwarranted expressions and stifle smirks successfully. But seriously, I have had to learn to elevate my respect for others despite being a pretty respectful person. I try to understand that everyone has a different level of fear or caution about the virus and this must be respected even if you do not agree. It boils down to love and appreciation and I appreciate the time with love ones whether on their terms or mine.

So, I social distanced successful and got to catch up on months of conversation and engage my sanity. Because being trapped with two small children for four months can challenge an adult’s frame of mind and while telephone calls are great nothing beats a good old-fashioned sit down. So, it was not Starbucks, but it was outside six feet apart in the fresh air on a beautiful day with an even more beautiful soul. The trade-off is worth it, because friendships take time and commitment to build and I refuse to allow the pandemic to take them away.