So you want to start Shadow work?

The first time I heard the words "shadow work", my autistic mind automatically went to the literal sense. Would I be working with my shadow? Did it make sense to take it literally? No, not quite. But I wasn't WRONG. Shadow Work deals with working through the things we may keep in the shadow of our minds. These are the things we might be ashamed of, scared of or downright judgmental of. The emotions we don't want to see or deal with, so we push them deep within us. Repressing our "dark sides" can have many consequences. The more we build up and hide with no resolution, the more likely we are to explode in the form of emotional outbursts and so on. Integrating your shadow self and coming to terms with what lurks in your shadows can help you find your strengths and learn to better process our emotions.

Shadow Work can be done with your mental health professional, but there are also tools to help yourself on your journey into your own shadow realm. It CAN be triggering, so make sure you are aware of your triggers and write down what causes them to appear and why. This includes feelings of jealousy or longing. Give yourself space to wrap yourself in compassion as well, for everything shameful you bring up, there's things in the light about you as well that illuminate who you are.

I started shadow work about a year ago, and it's really made a difference for me personally. As an autistic person, it's especially difficult for me to understand and label the emotions racing through me like formula 1 cars. It's hard especially to process things when I'm in meltdown mode. Shadow Work has helped me label and better understand my triggers, and how I respond, and therefore I can work through tough situations a little better or remove myself when I can feel it's not a good place for me.

Here are some shadow work prompts to help get you started. Grab a journal, open a notes app or even do a video diary for yourself if that is what works best for you.

- What are things that other humans do that I consider a pet peeve? Do I see any of these things in myself?

- What are ways that I talk negatively towards myself? Why do I do it?

- I am most afraid of _________ because __________.

- Who do I hold any grudges with? How can I let go of this grudge and move on, why haven't I yet?

- What was my childhood like? What emotions come up when I think about it?

- Were there been traumatic experiences that shaped my childhood? Am I still triggered by them? Why?

- What emotions do you avoid? Why?

- What would you say are your toxic traits?

- When have you self sabotaged/been self destructive ? What triggered this?

- Is there someone who regularly belittles your emotions? How does it make you feel? Do you have someone you do it to?

- What does failure mean to you?

- What are five things you worry that people think about you? What are five things you hope people think of you?

These are just a few prompts to get you started. You don't need to conquer them all in a journaling session if you don't feel up to it yet, you could even pick one question a day to start with and really get in depth with it. After a shadow work session I highly recommend taking a few moments of silence to just meditate on a mantra. Pick a favorite quote or a saying that means something to you, maybe even a song lyric. Repeat it to yourself and focus on it, something that really helps you feel good. Maybe it's something cheesy, maybe it's something motivating, whatever it is...make it yours.

We all have a shadow, it's part of being a human. How we incorporate our shadow self and appeal to our inner child is where we can truly heal and move forward. Healing isn't always pretty, but sometimes we have to find the parts of ourselves we deem ugly and find the beauty in their chaos.