Round and Round Til it Falls Down

I am another someone who bursts with intense enthusiasm, and can get swept away in matching the energy of the chaotic do’s and have to’s of daily living. I have grown accustomed to over-extending that energy, either working harder than I have to, or giving to others without realizing my tank is empty. I realize that it comes from the conditioning that we are all unlearning as we find our ways existing in an internet driven capitalistic society, with various identities that come with more strenuous or more privileged socioeconomic stature. With a silly and forgiving awareness to this as I unlearn and balance, I am often looking forward to the time that I create more space for myself in my daily meditations of the mornings and evenings. This is where I initially thought to release those dense layers of hyperactive energy at my belly center that unconsciously sends me into that busy effort and resistance. I have such a frenzied mid-center, however, that sitting down for meditation brings up a lot of squirmy energy that I get stuck on. It made meditating quite invalidating for me, thinking that perhaps I am simply not the sprit that is meant for stillness. I almost caved in to identifying with that revved up energy as a part of me until I stumbled in to the most adorable pre-meditation practice to help blow some matcha powered steam out of my solar plexus.

I was spending time with my little sibling when we were watching a an episode of our favorite K-pop group’s weekly TV-show when I saw a quick ad that involved hula-hooping. I had so much excitement that my gasp alone rose me chest first to the air in exclamation to immediately go purchase a hula-hoop. Such drama for the little joys, I am so happy to report and forever indulge. I purchased a kid size, shimmering, iridescent pink hula hoop from a toy aisle at Target. I hula hooped the very next morning before my mediation, and it not only provided a fun way to bring awareness back to my body, but it brought me so much joy and wholeness as I set the intention to recenter myself for the day.

I have been hula-hooping ever since. I adore showing support to my starry-eyed abdominal region to my favorite silly tunes from Steven Universe. I grew up with such seriousness, so connecting with that joyful child-like energy has been a tremendous healing experience. So much so, that every time the hoop makes a round across my waist, I am bringing myself back around to who I truly am, which is this big conglomerate of sunshine and trustful mischief.

On a physical level, it has helped me released a lot of pain and emotional tension in my waist and hips. Loosening up with rhythmic circled movements has helped me see just how much space I have had access to in my body, and how I have been holding onto so much that simply doesn’t belong there. A lot of that tension is associated with being in a brown female body as a young woman, and the conditioning that I have internalized that comes with it. It’s quite beautiful to feel the transformation in my hips as I let go of trauma from a place of silly enjoyment. I can literally put it all into the hoop and let it fall down to the floor every time I lose the rhythm! As I take up more space in my own body, I am able to deepen my sense of self worth and what it truly means to have autonomy in my body.

It has also been a huge creative outlet for me! I am so much more mobile in my waist and hips that my dancing style has become so fluid. It has opened up avenues of neat spins and tricks to do with the hoop as I play. I also get to reap the benefits of a strong core, because hula hooping can be a vigorous workout!

My solar plexus is most authentic when it is giving its energy to fun creativity, expressing this excess of child-like passion that remains strong within me. It’s so important for it to be validated with outward play and movement before I sit into a state of ease and send my awareness to turning inward. It has been an incredibly healing activity that I get to find a deeper understanding for in my meditation space. It is so paralleled to my spiritual growth and awareness that I am humbled by the synchronicity. I mean, what better way to prepare to greet collective spirit, that which connects us in the circle of life, than with circled movements at the center of my body while gravity is keeping me grounded? It has helped me understand what my body truthfully loves to do, and how I can let go of what I have been forcing my body to do my whole life. With this cheap, colorful little hoop, I have transformed so miraculously. I could not be more grateful to have been shown the most Jessi way to return to wholeness.