Recommitting

I have wanted to lose weight since I can remember. I’ve been overweight, I’ve had an eating disorder and everything in between. It has not been an easy road mentally or physically up to this point. I’ve been “committed” to my journey more times than I can count, and I always stop for one reason or another. I always end up right back where I started. I’ve said “this is the last time I’m going to restart” more times than I’d like to admit. I really don’t even want to say it again. However, I am growing as a person, I am learning more about what I can and cannot handle, and what I can and cannot do. One of my biggest faults is that I give it absolutely everything in me, or I give it nothing. Frequently, I give it absolutely everything, get burnt out too quickly, then give up. Even at the start of this year. I tried to do 75 Hard, and about 25 days in, I fell off and tried to keep going, then I ended up with a flare up and used it as an excuse to forget the whole thing.

Flash forward to March 14. I realize, this isn't worth it. The constant yo-yo isn’t worth it. I’ll lose 5-10 lbs, gain it back, be sad, rinse and repeat. I decided starting March 15, I was going to be planning my meals for the entire week, making sure to hit my protein goal, exercise daily (within reasonable limits) and continue training for my half marathon in July. I have a trip to one of my favorite places in the world (Disneyland) on April 16. I want to be down there, not worried about my body, and just be focused on enjoying my time with my family. So, I decided to recommit. Again.

I had originally lost 7.5 pounds before I stopped trying. I then gained back about 5 pounds of that. I was over it, and I felt like I finally woke up. I can accomplish this, I just have to stop getting in my own way. I can lay off of the wine and snacks, focus on high protein foods and water, and I can do it. I just have to put my head down and put in the work.

I accomplished something major on March 12, my first race ever. I completed a 10K, and next on the list for July 10 was my first ever half marathon. I needed to really commit for that race as well as my overall health. I wanted to be in the best possible shape I could be in so I wouldn’t struggle as much as I had for my 10K. I hadn’t been fueling properly or drinking enough water leading up to my race and I definitely felt it while I was running.

First thing that I did was redesign my workout plan. I had been strength training twice a week and running 4 days a week. However, my strength training days were just random videos I found online. No set program, nothing consistent besides I would work legs on Tuesdays and upper body on Thursday’s. I had a pretty consistent running schedule but I felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere. I decided it was time to start lifting heavy, time to have a consistent program, and really focus on muscle growth. I made a program for me, listed starting weights, and I made a way to track those weights to make sure I was increasing them. I am really ready to completely commit to weightlifting because it makes me feel so strong and confident. Especially in addition to long distance running. I also started a 14 week half marathon program to make sure I was ready for my next race.

Next up was sorting out my nutrition. I had meal-prepped on the 14th after not having meal-prepped for a little over a week. I plugged all of my food for the week into myfitnesspal and made sure I was going to be in my calorie goal, and hitting my protein goal. I made sure that I added in things that I enjoyed, and made food that I like so I wouldn’t feel deprived or that I was restricting myself. I even planned a night out with one of my friends to make sure I can still enjoy a social life while working on my goals.

Every year, month, week, and day is a new start, and it’s a chance to be better than you were the day before. I’ve been reading Atomic Habits and I’m trying to make an effort to be 1% better than I was the day before. If that means working out when I’m tired and don’t want to, I will. If that means saying no to a drink to stay in my macros for the day, I will. If I have to go for a walk in the rain, I will. It’s time to start actively trying to be better, and not letting excuses run my life. I am great at talk and terrible at follow through and it’s time to fix that.

Here’s to recommitting for the last time.