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Please Speak Up

What I Want You to Know About Hearing Loss

By Glenda BeechamPublished 3 years ago Updated 3 years ago 6 min read
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Please Speak Up
Photo by Kate Hliznitsova on Unsplash

I lost the hearing in my left ear when I was 16 years old. It happened literally overnight. One day I could hear, and the next day I could not. At first, my doctors thought it was temporary. They thought that I might be exaggerating or that it would eventually come back.

Eventually, I saw a specialist who sent me for a hearing test. The results came back and showed I was completely deaf in my left ear. There was no hope of recovering my hearing because my nerves were damaged. At the time, I was devastated. I now realize that being hard of hearing is integral to who I became as a person.

The most arduous part of living with hearing loss is being surrounded by people who don’t understand how it affects everyday life. I want to bring awareness to the everyday challenges of being hard of hearing. So, I’ve put together a list of things I wish other people knew about. If everyone was educated about hearing loss, it would make life so much easier for those who are hard of hearing.

1. I’m Not Ignoring You

For me, this is one of the worst things that can happen since there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve been called aloof, snobby, and stupid for not responding to people. I have no idea people are even trying to talk to me or catch my attention. It’s so easy to miss someone trying to speak to you when other things are happening. If I am downtown and cars are passing me by, and multiple people are chatting, it’s more likely I’ll miss you talking to me.

There have been countless times when I realize someone is trying to ask me something, and I only catch the tail end of things which is usually the name-calling or nasty look part. I used to feel so guilty when this happened. I would internalize the things people would say to me, and it would eat away at me. Now, I know better. It is not my fault when I can't hear people talking to me, and it is only ignorance that causes people to react in such a cruel way.

Next time you talk to someone who does not respond, remind yourself that not everyone is alike, and there may be a reason they didn't respond.

2. It Takes Extra Concentration and Energy for Me to Hear

Do you have to concentrate to hear things? Most people would say no but, my answer is a resounding yes. I am all too aware of the amount of brainpower it takes to listen and process speech. Imagine that someone is whispering to you all day. Imagine how much work it would take to hear everything they are saying to you. That is just a taste of what it’s like for people who are hard of hearing.

If I am in a situation where I need to concentrate on listening, like in a noisy restaurant, it will drain my energy. Eventually, I usually end up tuning out of these situations because I don’t have the stamina to keep up that way for hours on end.

If you know anyone who is hard of hearing, do your best to make things easy for them. Speak clearly, try not to talk over other people, and if they zone out - let them - they are probably taking a much-needed break.

3. I Can’t Keep Up with Conversations in Noisy Places

When people suggest going to dinner/lunch etc. at certain places in town, I immediately start to dread it. We all know these places – the ones where the music is turned up too loud or the acoustics are terrible and echo-y. Sometimes I suggest a different venue, but other times, like if it’s a group event, I don’t feel that it’s fair to ask my friends to change their plans just for me.

If we end up in one of the dreaded noisy places, you’ll usually find me silently sipping on my drink, pretending to listen to everyone around me. I’ll rarely jump into a conversation for fear I’ve missed something and will sound stupid. I’ll try my best to catch snippets of chats here or there, but inevitably I’ll end up exhausted and silent by the end of the night.

If someone suggests a different venue when the one you’ve chosen, understand that it may be so they can hear you and enjoy the experience better.

4. I Need to Adjust Where I Sit or Stand to Hear You

If you spend any significant amount of time with me, you’ll notice that I will automatically gravitate to certain spots. If I’m walking beside you, I will automatically drift towards your right side. And if we go out to dinner, especially in a group, you’ll find me jockeying to find the best seat for me to hear the most people. This can result in awkward interactions where people try to figure out why I keep moving or insist on sitting in a designated spot.

If I’m having dinner with you, usually, I’m more than happy to tell you I need to sit here to hear better. But it doesn’t always work out that way. There are times when I just must take the seat that’s open to me. I’m not going to make people move around after they’ve already sat down, especially if I don’t know everyone very well. If I’m walking with an acquaintance, it’s usually easier for me to switch which side I’m standing on than to interrupt them to tell them I’m hard of hearing. Although I’m open about my hearing loss, there are still situations when asking people to make accommodations can be awkward.

If someone asks to sit at a specific spot at a table, in a car, or at a theatre, realize there is probably a good reason for it.

5. Please Speak Clearly and Face Me When You Talk

After mentioning everything above, the single easiest thing you can do to help me hear is to face me and speak clearly. I rely on reading lips and cues to understand what you’re saying.

Masks have made it hard for the hard of hearing. Don’t get me wrong, as someone who also has a suppressed immune system, I think masks are necessary, and I am thankful to those that wear them. But please realize that masks make things even harder for those who already have hearing difficulties.

Speak clearly, don’t speak too fast, and speak up! Don’t shout, that doesn’t make it easier to hear, and it's demeaning.

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About the Creator

Glenda Beecham

Author from the West Coast.

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