Passion Starts Outside the Bedroom
Relationship Advice For Men
A lot of people, especially my fellow men, do not seem to understand that passion and romance actually start outside the bedroom. So, you tell your woman at least once a day that you love her…that’s a great thing, but don’t stop at that!! Women need to hear that you think about them during your day. Tell her that while you were at work, you couldn’t help but smile thinking about how she felt pressed against you last night while she slept. Let her know that all day at work (or where ever you had to be) that you kept thinking about getting back to her. Even if you have been married for years and years, tell her that the feel of her kiss still makes you feel like you are stealing them after a first date. You know good and well that you tell other people about her, and I would hope that at least some of it is always a good comment. Don’t keep it to yourself…tell her how you brought the mention of her cute ways or a pleasant memory into a conversation today.
You will soon see an article here about this topic, but also remember that not all things in your passion are verbal or a touch. Women are very good at picking up how and when you are looking at them. Men tell me that it is hard to look at their woman like it is the first time because she always does the same things, looks the same way, and so on. Well, I have very bad news for you…kind of a wake up call. Simply put, if your woman acts like she is in a rut and seems to not be trying so hard to be sexy for you…it is probably at least 85% your fault. Everyone knows that in a relationship us men are used to things always being our fault, even when we have no idea what the crime is. In this case though it really is probably mostly your fault. Most women will adapt to your style and way of doing things. She loves you and there for she will try to adjust her habits and her routine to fit the relationship. If she always wears the same jogging pants and ragged out t-shirt it is probably because you don’t give her a reason to wear anything else. Buy her some new comfort clothes that you think are sexy and while you are at it… make sure they will ACTUALLY BE COMFORTABLE TO HER. Stop shopping for your woman according to what you like entirely. Think about what kind of person she is and think of how she would like it. Think of how it will make her feel. Not just clothes either, think of these things when you buy her anything. Another great way to get her to wear other clothing is a very simple method called “ask her you twit!!” LOL. If you can find a sweet and romantic way to ask her to wear a certain type of clothing then chances are she probably will. Tell her you want her to wear it because it brings out her eyes, or because you want her to show off that sexy abdomen she has. Give her a true and romantic reason.
When she is around the house or standing at the sink or anywhere, walk up and wrap your arms around her even when you expect nothing in return. Just kiss her neck and tell her how special she is and you find her so beautiful. Tell her that you are in awe of her every day just because of how smart and beautiful she is. Tell her how much you are thankful not only to have her, but also for how caring she is and how she makes you feel each and every day. Of course, it never hurts to have a rose or her favorite flower in hand when you approach her, and give it to her for no other reason than she deserves it.
I know some of you are thinking about now: “no, I have that southern tomboy or New York tough kind of woman, none of this applies to her.” Guess what… she is still a woman and she still needs to hear all these things. Even the woman who will tease you a little for doing these things or saying sweet things…still love to hear it. They tease you to try to keep looking tough, but they go in the room and smile, thankful for the type of man you are. If anything they almost need these things more because they work harder all day to put up that tough front to the world and need someone they can let in. These things are romantic and sweet and for sure a great way to help your relationship in general, but what a lot of people (not just men) don’t realize is these are things that can and will improve your sex life too. It will improve the sex for both the man and the woman. For women sex of any kind starts long before you even touch her or you make it to the bedroom (or whatever you have sex) to do anything. Sex actually starts the moment you lay eyes on each other and even sometimes the moment you think about the other person and know you want to be with them as soon as you can. Women are much better about showing this fact, but it is actually true for both men and women. Once the thought or realization that you want that person comes to mind, your body will already begin to react and prepare. Blood starts to flow stronger and the chemical balance of your brain will shift as needed.
Also don’t always approach sex the same way each time. Make it different locations, different styles, and new and different starters whenever you can. This is usually part of the problem on the man and the woman’s part. For the most part it is true that men are pretty much always horny and want sex anytime and anywhere they can get it…that being the part that men keep out in the open. Truth is, we too need a little warming up at times. This statement also brings me to a very simple revelation to some people, others will know this already. Men are blamed for being the horny ones…truth is… women are just as horny and perverted if not more so than men are. The big difference is men a time and place and women need it to be right from a to z. Men will keep wanting sex no matter what the experience really. If the sex isn’t good, then a woman will lose interest. If you are a guy and you want to understand…then for the next 5 times you have sex don’t finish. Don’t let yourself get off at all. That is how a lot of women have to deal with sex. If each time was a disappointment then why should they even bother. Women can and will get off pretty easily with the right circumstances and efforts despite what you think. If you don’t believe me then (if she will) ask your woman to masturbate for you one time while you watch and see how fast she gets herself off.
A good way to fix this (and a fun way btw) is to every once in a while just keep your clothes on. Undress your woman slowly and very slowly explore every inch of her body. As you explore her body ask her to tell you what she really likes or doesn’t like as you do it. Solve the puzzle of your woman’s body and learn what you can do to make it better for her. Don’t be afraid to try new things even if they seem a little odd to you. Take the time to learn how a woman’s body works and where the most sensitive parts of her body are. The most sensitive parts aren’t always areas that would occur to most. She may not even know where all of them are, so kiss everywhere and use light touches. Make sure your hands are clean and your nails aren’t rigid. The little things really do matter…esp. to your woman. Maybe you are asking yourself what do these last few things have to do with passion being outside the bedroom? Well, I’ll tell you. A great place to start doing all this IS outside the bedroom. Explore her body when your laying together on the couch, or take a slow sensual shower together and explore her body there. Wash her body for her and yes, start by washing her hair slowly and massaging her scalp. One of the best places to turn a woman on is usually by massaging her scalp and running your fingers through her hair. Even better, sometime surprise your woman with a warm bath drawn and you (no shirt on) stripping her slowly and kissing each exposed part. Then carry her to the tub and lay her down. Sit on the side of the tub and bathe her while she tells you about her day. Just remember as she tells you about her day. LISTEN!! Comment briefly or even use a confirming comment to show her that you are listening to her. A confirming comment being something like, “she actually said that?” or “yeah I imagine that was funny.”
If you find this too much to remember or think about just remember to think about passion and how to improve things even when it is just the day to day. Remember that passion and sex involves to full people, not just two bodies. Connect with the other person not just the body that houses them. Tell them what you are thinking and how you feel. Reassure them that you are thankful they are there and that you have the pleasure of expressing love and wanting for them. Passion starts when you wake up and never ends. It’s as simple as that.