My Faces of Pain
"What an Incurable, Rare Disease you have!"
My name is not important. However, my PAIN is very important.I am but one face in pain out of millions.A accident (cut of my left hand) triggered the monster that lives in me now. It has crippled my entire body.CRPS, also known as Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, is a pain disease with no cure and is very misunderstood. Almost allof my "faces of pain", were treated with alternative treatment modalities before being placed on medications only.All the faces of pain share pain from diseases and injuries we never heard of and certainly never wanted. My pain was treated by: 50 plus stellate ganglion blocks( a needle injection into your neck),physical/occupational/aqua therapy,hypnosis,acupuncture and psychological visits. Before my accident to my hand that caused this burning, terrible beast of a disease, I was 100% healthy and was not taking any prescription medications or developed any mental disorders. I have now over 20 plus diagnosis from the disease and take over 15 prescription medications to this day since August of 2009.For me, all I underwent caused my disease to spread from my left hand to now encompass my whole body in just over three years! ( I have had it for now 12 years with no signs of remission)It is all very well documented in my medical records. My disease has crippled my body horribly. For all of my faces of pain, I suffer even more now because I functioned and functioned well on often high-dose opioid pain medication.Do I want all my faces of pain dead? That's a stupid question. So what has daily life been like since my diagnosis?I cried, took pain medicine, slept and cried some more.Weeks went by and the pain progressively got worse: pins and needles, burning sensation, color and temperature changes, and atrophy. As the months passed, the nerve damage spread up my left side from head to toe. I went to numerous pain specialists and underwent multiple nerve blocks (stellate ganglion blocks) over the next 3 to 5 years. I was literally exhausted from being in pain every day. The thought of having to wake up day after day in pain made me feel hopeless.Nerve pain is hard to explain. It is like pins and needles times one thousand 24/7. It’s like coming inside after being out in the snow when you were little and experiencing that burning/re-warming feeling 24/7. It’s the feeling of having rubber bands cutting off circulation 24/7. It’s exhausting and it’s exhausting being exhausted 24/7. So what advice would I give to newly diagnosed RSDS/CRPS (reflex sympathetic dystrophy syndrome, complex regional pain syndrome) positive people?Do not give up! If one doctor does not listen or understand, go to a second. If thirteen doctors do not listen, go to the fourteenth. Do your own research and listen to your body! So what is one thing I wish those without CRPS/RSD could understand?When I would go to doctor’s appointments and try to explain the pain and frustrations, I would often hear “well you look great, just keep doing what you are doing.” The biggest misconception one can have is thinking that just because someone looks great means they feel great. Just because I tried to hide my pain and actually get dressed and do my hair and throw a little mascara on does not mean I felt great. Just because I looked great does not mean my body was not screaming for help.So what encouragement would I give to "Warriors",who have had CRPS/RSD for many years?I would put it this way....RSD continues to be studied and is becoming more recognized in the medical field. With more knowledge comes more treatments and the possibility of a cure. What I also would like to add is this..I hope that each and every one of you "warriors", is you can find something that provides relief! Do not give up! You are a Warrior for a reason!
About the Creator
Jenny Hudson
A mom,wife,a autistic child with a loving,lifelong soulmate of 15 years. An only child; a mother with Parkinson’s with strong ambition;a father determined with creativity. I presently live on top of a mountain; living so close to the skies.
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Welcome to My World!
Sooo...you all want to know huh? Well here is me in a nut-shell. Well, not really a nut-shell at all!! I am a mother of age 33 with 2 boys; one with autism and the other a "spit-fire." I can't believe I am even saying this! And I very well shouldn't because frankly it is really none of anyone's business. But you lot, no..you lot are so consumed with your lives you have to know the juicy, little sweet and sexy details of mine. So be it!! I have a husband who is 25 years older then me and have been with him for the past 18 years (married 15 though). He is the only man I have ever been with..if you know what I mean! My soulmate certainly winned and dinned me for sure. Otherwise, I might have had a boyfiend or too my own age of 18 years old ( future husband at 34). Here is the kicker and please don't take it to heart..I have known him since age 9 when his daughter; only 3 months older then me, is how we met. So is it better that I got with boys my own age who only want "one-thing", on their minds or to be like my great-grandparents and be with a man like fine-wine and have only one man for my whole entire life?? Want to know more?!We've all heard stories of women's husbands, boyfriends, brothers, or any male in their lives, going for younger women.And honestly, it's somewhat of a mystery. Well, you might find some clarity in these reasons as to why men prefer dating younger women. One,younger women are more adventurous.Next,they crave eternal youth and so choose to be with a younger women.Younger women are more open to new things intimately.Younger women make them feel wanted.In addition, I believe that older women have an emotional maturity that some men can't handle.I do not believe that fear of commitment drives older men into the embrace of younger women.In my opinion, I think some men might find women their age hard to control.I do not believe that intimacy might scare older men.However, younger women are more flexible about having their needs met. This isn't as much of a treat to older men. But it's not always because of these reasons that older men date younger women. Some times, they strike gold and have a genuine connection with their younger partners. And when that happens, it is sheer magic!I am not proud to say that years ago I had a strong stereotype in my mind. It was that a younger woman who married an older man would always be a gold digger. She never worked and never wanted to. The man would be a sexist who only valued her for her youthful perfection and expected nothing else from the relationship but for her to look good on his arm. That is true about 10% of the time, but I was so wrong about the other 90%!Imagine you are a man in your 40’s or 50’s who has gone through an awful divorce. Your ego has been raked over the coals. Every flaw you have has been shouted at you.Now imagine this young woman meets this older man.What happens next is magical. This man finds a woman who appreciates everything about him. He is so smart. He is so put together.He feels like he really is the greatest man too because she adores him. They fall in love and get married.When you are young anyone older should be able to impress you. They typically are more responsible and confident and knowledgeable. They ask you deep questions. They are not just after one thing. Once the younger woman and her peers grow older too, she begins seeing her older husband as ordinary, maybe even as just old. Then there is sex. Women do typically gain a significantly stronger sex drive in their late 30’s to late 40’s. Men, however, typically experience a steady decline. This does not help matters at all.So, the stereotype in my mind was very wrong.As great as it is to have a young partner show you new things, and an older partner teach you new things, there is no substitute for a partner who is your peer.No one can ever go back to the beginning of any relationship. It will never be, “…the way it was back in the beginning.” All relationships have challenges. In my experience this is the unique challenge of an older man and a younger woman as time goes by, simply put, they both get older. Hubby??..When you do read this; just know...you got me babe..through and through til the end.
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