My Definition of Loneliness

Loneliness. As a society, we have accepted loneliness to be a bad thing, but that isn’t always the case. In my almost 22 years of life, I have experienced loneliness on more than one occasion. In those moments that I have felt truly alone, I grew. In the terms loneliness, we tend to think that it means that you are completely alone. I think that people don’t realize that often when someone is feeling lonely they have others around them. Loneliness is not defined by one definition out of a dictionary. It is defined by each person who experiences it. It is defined by the way that each person experiences it. This is my definition of loneliness.

I experienced true loneliness for the first time when I was 16. I had just had surgery to remove my gallbladder and it was my first time back to school. I had been excited to return to all the people that I thought noticed that I had been gone. As I walked through the building of this massive high school I went to, no one even seemed to notice me. Not one person asked me why I had been gone for so long, not even people I thought were my friends. Not one person felt my absence. Not one person happy to see me return. I went to a school that had almost 2000 students and not a single person even realized that I had missed over a month of school. This was the epitome of loneliness. I came home that day and never wanted to go back. Now looking back on it I realize that this was the beginning of the transformation in my life and experiencing loneliness was a crucial part of the change.

I had always been the type of person that didn’t get lonely. I always had family or friends around me. I also had a passion for reading so if I wasn’t spending time with real people I was spending it with fictional people in the pages of a book. So, when all the sudden I felt completely alone, I also began to feel completely lost. I began to read a lot. That was the only time that I didn’t feel alone. Eventually, even reading was no longer a comfort to me. I had no choice but to thrive in my loneliness. I had no choice but to find comfort in being lonely.

I began to learn a lot about myself. I learned that I let the wrong people into my life, and they had too much influence over my life. I learned that the music I had been listening to had been greatly affecting my moods and my attitude towards life. The shows that I was watching were adding the negativity that had enveloped my life. The books that I had been reading had influenced me to believe that I was better off reading a book rather than living life. I learned that I had been sucked into a life that I couldn’t recognize and into being a person that I didn’t get along with. Being lonely forced me to realize that I had strayed far off the path that I was meant to be following. I was forced to realize that this isn't who I wanted to be; I had to change.

I learned to embrace the loneliness with every inch of my being. I began to thrive in it, even enjoy it a little. I opened my eyes to the possibilities that loneliness isn’t meant to be sad but is meant to help us get to know ourselves. I accepted myself as I was and learned to make changes in my life so that I could love myself. I am a happier human being because I allowed myself to experience loneliness.

If you are lonely, I encourage you to take a step back from the sadness of it. I encourage you to take a look at the bigger picture and learn from it. I encourage you to thrive in it. I encourage you enjoy this stage in your life; it won’t last forever. Don’t miss a chance to grow because you are too busy being sad. Live life to the fullest, even in the midst of loneliness.

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