Moment Of Feeling Different

Have you ever wondered to yourself that you’ve always felt different? Wondering why you always feel this big rush of anxiety flowing throughout your whole body and you can’t help but think of all the bad things that may happen at that moment. Constantly feeling like the attention is always on you and everyone is talking behind your back and staring hoping that you end up embarrassing yourself.

Anxiety isn’t something that most people who claim themselves “Normal” wouldn’t honestly know anything about. The constant sweats of feeling uncomfortable in moments when you have no control, or the pressure when we think about a million and one things and our mind is continually moving. I admitted to myself that I am different from everyone and saw that my depression/Anxiety has been ruining who I am. I was never the type of person who felt fear, just by being socially involved with the world. I was the opposite before becoming this person who suddenly was now distant from everyone and everything and secluded myself from actual reality. I locked myself in a room all day and all night and didn’t come out. I didn’t want to be involved in anything or even meet anyone new. I was scared of letting someone else in my life, to only have them walk out in an instant. But sometimes it's ok to be not like everyone else. Thats what I loved about being human.

We are meant to be unique in our own way. Doesn’t matter if you did Drugs or became an alcoholic. Don’t let anyone define your life. We are meant to make mistakes. We are allowed to feel what we feel and handle it the way we thought we knew how to. That is what makes us Human. Expressing and acknowledging that my depression/Anxiety has set me back a few steps, but knowing that I have and will continue to overcome them will allow me to leap over the steps I’ve taken back and continue to walk with my head held high. I always tell myself every step I take forward is always the progress of me taking control of my life one day at a time. No one else can change the way I am. Only I can make the difference to change and want to be better.

But I am thankful for myself. To know that I still haven't fully gave up. To being able to acknowledge my existence in this world and my true purpose on why I am still standing. To being able to experience my own hardships in life and being able to still survive my demons and help surpass any reasonable possibilities for others like myself to keep on going. I stand and speak for all us who sometimes don't have a voice of their own to speak out, and I am proud the say that I am just like you and I understand… I understand what it is like to feel what you feel. And I want to be that person who’s going to say“ I will not judge nor leave your side.” We all need someone that can relate with one another to not only have friends but someone that will show you true compassion and help save a life.

Let people from the outside judge us and think whatever they want to think. Little do they know, We fight every day with ourselves to get up every morning. We fight with our bodies and exhaust ourselves to even pretend to look "Regular" even when we hurt inside. We fight pretending to put on that fake smile just so that we don't have to talk about what we feel. We battle our emotions and sometimes we don't have the strength to pretend the next day or the day after that. Most of the outside world doesn't see what we see when we just want to give up because my depression has got ahold of me that day. But I try the next day.

We fail to realize that our brain is the most powerful living organ in our body and we keep on forgetting that we control it. Don't let your mind tell you that you are nothing, and you are weak. Take back control on yourself and stop letting it have control over you. I am strong... You are Strong... Together We are Strong! I am with you... And generally speaking for myself; I understand that "Moment of Feeling Different"...