Memoirs of a Madman

Dear Reader & Friend,

Nice to meet you. I’ll start by saying that, despite the fact we don’t know one another, because it truly is a pleasure, the fact you’re taking the time to read this already means we have a connection. I’m not a published author, I’m not even a qualified writer. I just love to write, It’s my passion. So when I experienced something quite life changing, I decided to document it, and this book, journal, diary, letter - whatever this is - has become the result.

It’s my hope that by writing down this stream of unintelligible verbal diarrhoea, it will somehow engage with likeminded people and help them. It’s my hope that every word I write is a true reflection of the thoughts and feelings of my heart and mind. Whether those writings cast me in a negative or positive light, I don’t care. What I care about is channelling the truth about my circumstances in a way that will capture your attention and help me achieve my goal of helping others, who likely have their own struggles with mental illness. Essentially, we are in this together. At least that’s how I feel.

Ironically my desire to help others has not always manifested itself constructively. Helping others has at times been at the root of my problems with self neglect. If you’ve ever spent an inordinate amount of time worrying about the lives and actions of others, wondering if they’re okay, if they’re safe, well and happy yet all the while your own toenails are making holes in your socks, then you’ll know what I’m talking about. If you know you know. We’ll definitely do a chapter on that!

As I write these words, I’m already imagining who will read them, judge and critique them. Which of my family, or old acquaintances will read these words and cast their judgement. Ultimately, it doesn’t fucking matter. What matters is, writing makes me feel good, it’s an expression of self and whilst I have the ability to write, I will continue to do so. So if you’re reading this, furrowing your brow at my words, wondering where the Liam you know is, I just want to say he’s always been here, this is me in my truest form.

I hope this short introduction has given you a taster as to what to expect. I want to help you, not as a qualified person, but as a fellow sufferer. Someone who has life experience and the honesty of heart to share his own struggles and tribulations in such a way that will help you think about your own circumstances and help you to be the captain of your own ship, steering yourself through the inevitably shit filled waters you may be traversing right now, or in the future.

Captaining our own ship through life is a difficult skill to master, especially when we suffer with poor emotional health. I remember hearing that if you want to go out strong, end on a quote because someone else probably already said it better, so here it is:

“It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul.”

- William Ernest Henley

Are you ready to become your own Captain? I am. Thank you for reading this far, I have never mustered the courage to share my writings, so to have someone even read one page, means everything to me,

Love Liam