Making Your Love Language Work For Your Period

There’s a lot to be said about building healthy relationships and understanding how we communicate love and support. While it doesn’t seem like it makes a difference in menstrual and reproductive health, having supportive social networks both in romantic and platonic relationships is critical for health status – being able to rely on others for care tasks, mental well-being and in accessing physical care options is a component of menstrual health!

I’ve been learning myself more and more about love languages, and how we can use these for ourselves and the people we care for. I’m most definitely an Acts of Service, Physical Touch and Quality Time kind of gal.

I started thinking… if we can use love languages to serve our relationships, what about our periods? Menstrual cycles are their own unique kind of relationship, and no two cycles look the same!

Here’s my take on making your love language work for your period, whether your symptoms are minimal and manageable or difficult and needing additional care.

If your love language includes Acts of Service… plan ahead and call in your “troops”. Taking time before a period starts to prep and plan for meals and snacks can be a great way to stock up on your favourite snacks, ensure regular meals are ready and available and avoid the brain fog meal decision-making (or lack thereof). We know that eating nourishing foods can help manage period symptoms so taking time in advance can be an advantage. Schedule mental health and other appointments for the cycle days when you need them most, so you don’t have to dread calling at the last minute and potentially waiting to see your provider. And call in partner(s), family and friends where supportive to manage home and health tasks, like picking up prescriptions, house cleaning or picking up your mail.

If your love language includes Receiving Gifts… buy period products that make you feel good and comfortable! Remove scented products that might increase irritation, and use the internal or external products you prefer to avoid leaks. When it’s possible and accessible, find small ways to treat yourself like a fun coffee or new library book. It can be common to feel tired and in need of rest during your period, and if your period is already difficult to manage, it can be discouraging and disheartening. Taking time to show yourself a little extra loving can go a long way!

If your love language includes Quality Time… get social! Spend time with a partner or family and friends in a way that doesn’t burn out your social battery quickly or feel draining; set time limits if you notice you’re tapped out after visits or one-on-one time. This is also a great time to book self-care and independent care tasks such as cleaning, watching your favourite show or reading. You can also give yourself quality time by prioritizing good sleep quality (time sleeping is time with yourself!) and including any movement that is enjoyable and rejuvenating to you.

If your love language includes Words of Affirmation… get vocal with yourself. This is a great time to practice using “period powerful” affirmations (try “I am in tune with my cycle and what my body needs” or “My period pain is valid and I deserve care”) to boost confidence. Keep a period journal to document your thoughts throughout menstruation and note patterns of symptoms, common themes and other manifestations. Because periods aren’t always uplifting or comfortable, use positive self-talk (along with other pain management and supportive techniques for you) to get you through!

If your love language includes Physical Touch… get physical! Book a massage or other rehab modalities with a provider, or ask a partner or friend to work out any knots in the shoulders. If you own or have access to a foam roller, massage gun or a body lotion of your choice, you can even give yourself a massage! This is a great time to stretch it out for any aches and pain, and don’t be afraid to incorporate some self-hugs.

And if you’re a combination type like, time to combine some activities!

I’m certainly newer to love languages, so you tell me… what do you think?