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Loving Yourself is FIERCE!

by NikkiDeeFit | Nicole DeFelice 4 months ago in self care
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Who Have You Learned To Be?

Comparison truly is the thief of all joy. Ever feel really good about yourself, but then, you see what someone else has or accomplished, and suddenly you/yours feels subpar? Yeah, I know that sinking feeling too. Cue the negative self talk: I’m not...⠀







Wealthy ⠀


Confident ⠀

...Enough. ⠀

Isn’t it just strangely human, how in one moment we can fill ourselves with such pride and happiness, until one second later...we see or hear something, yank that good feeling from ourselves, and replace it with empty doubt? Well, I wanted to be the one to let you know today...you are exactly enough. What you bring to this world will always be uniquely yours.

Because haven’t you heard? Loving yourself is FIERCE! I know some days you just gotta' stand in front of the mirror and remind yourself who the F you are. A baaaaaaad mf’er, let me remind you! You can do anything you set your mind to. However, maybe your mind is set on: “What will people think if…” It is the most crippling phrase that holds so many of us back in life from being our fullest, most authentic selves.

What will YOU think if…you don’t?

Who could YOU BE if…you did?

Confidence is really a mindset, not a born trait. A muscle to train through discipline, self respect, acceptance, kind self talk, personal development, and letting go. It is not arrogant, vain, or selfish...it is self love.

Imagine if we used our precious energy to radically love ourselves? Instead of being our own biggest critics. Showing up for our lives like we were BORN for them. You know, because we were. ;)

Maybe some (or at least we fear) might judge. “Who does she think she is…” Honestly, who the F cares? People probably aren’t even saying these things, but if they are getting their feathers ruffled, rest assured:

1. They’ll get over it/adjust/learn.

2. You don’t need to shrink yourself for anyone, this is your one life.

3. It’s not your business or problem what they think of you, it’s theirs.

4. Life’s not that serious, so have fun for you, and them then.

Confidence encourages confidence. I know sometimes, it just doesn't work no matter what we try, so why not move on from those people and situations. It's scary...but you can. Remind yourself of all the reasons you are a whole, beautiful, incredibly bright compassionate person. That deserves everything of your dreams. Start by surrounding yourself with others doing the same thing. It makes lighter of what can feel so heavy in our lives; this knowing that we are infinitely capable through it all. And we are never alone.

So go ahead, visualize that woman you were born to be. How does she feel/look/live? What does she do daily, how does she spend time/speak/eat/dress? If you can see her in your mind, you can be her by embodying those qualities! Because that’s who you already are. No one is stopping you. No one is going to unleash her... but you, either. It begins with that lil spark of self recognition, that in the most human of ways, we are entirely unique…yet also, truly all the same. We are ALL worthy.

I encourage you to step into your light.

Remember who you are.

Little you believed in you...

Who are you right now? Who have you learned to be that may not actually be who you are?

The quiet one?

The crazy one?

Too much?

Not enough?

The good girl?

The responsible one?

Stuck in a certain cultural norm/environment?

With a little awareness, boundaries, and willpower to show up for ourselves consistently, we can create and uncover who we really are. Bringing it forward in our lives, without (or with) labels.

At some point when we’re growing up, we either watched and learned from another/media/etc. and took bits and pieces for our own self script. Modeling this behavior that looked good on someone else, without really deciding if this was authentic to us. Or maybe we experienced a wound in ourselves, or saw another wounded, feeling unaccepted or shamed, and decided we would hide certain parts of ourselves away.

In school and with new people, I’ve always been called the quiet one, but then somehow also to others...the crazy, or confident one. Quiet as to not be too much or too excited or a burden to others. Yet really, deep inside, I just want to take up my own space in this world. Be loud. Be weird. Be myself. My real self. In my one life.

When you quiet all the voices, even your own, you can ask yourself: Who are you really? It’s an uncomfortably vulnerable choice to be authentic and steer out of auto pilot.But it’s a freeing choice. You’ll find yourself falling in love with this version of you, while becoming that person, four year old you knew you’d be.

Some days, like today, I wake up and remember...it’s really not that serious. “It” being everything, outside of my, and my loved ones health/life. There’s no script on how each day or life is supposed to look. Or who you should be, what you need to accomplish, look/act/whatever like. ⠀

Still, we’re human. No matter how strong, successful, or loved we are, we all get in our own heads sometimes or compare our path to someone else’s. Try to remember this: there is literally no single other person that is you. You’re creating yourself now for the 1st time, every breath you take, day you wake. So what does “perfect” even mean anymore? If there’s something in your head/heart too that you’ve been carrying for awhile, that’s been keeping you from moving forward...you are free to let it go with me today, if you’d like. Whatever it is for you. Because carrying it, at one point may have protected us, but now, is no longer serving us. And that’s perfectly okay.

When we look deeper inside our own selves we can acknowledge how vast we really are...past perfect, good, or bad. Labels can't contain us because we’re all indescribable! That is when the weight lifts, when we shift. We are free to choose again. ⠀

Who might you be?

self care

About the author

NikkiDeeFit | Nicole DeFelice

Welcome! I have loved writing poetry & creating stories ever since I was a little girl. I am a Certified Personal Trainer, Animal Flow Instructor, fiancé, dog & beardie mama, plant parent, & ocean lover! Happy reading, hope you enjoy! :)

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