It's okay for men to feel too

Going through life with mental health issues, mainly severe anxiety disorders and adhd, I was often misunderstood. I was deemed "not manly enough", told to constantly suck it up and other stigmatic comments. Why is this though?

I believe throughout time and as society has grown we have been shown more and more masculine ways of men whether it be in sports, television, radio, whatever it may be. But a lot of what we see isn't necessarily real or isn't what we can actually resonate with in real life.

Positive masculinity to me, is just that, positive. It means you are okay with your own self both outwardly and inwardly. You are in tune with your thoughts and emotions. Understanding and aware of them. Why is it said that men are weak for crying? Why can't men open up just as others do? Instead for the most part men turn to compartmentalizing these emotions which often lead to worsening conditions and worsening mental health. At least this was the case for myself.

Before coming to terms with these issues I was so unaware of what was really going on and basically blaming anything and anybody else around for all of my own wrong doings. Now most of these may have come subconsciously but none the less they still happened. But I was always a bit more of an emotional guy than the next, which I was okay with and it allowed me to feel as if I was more of a real human being in a sense. But so many saw that as weakness or not a true man. Which I never quite understood.

Recently as I've been overcoming my mental struggles I've come to realize that there are a lot more of us out there than I thought. The problem is, just as I was doing, these men are typically doing the same. They are holding these issues deep within themselves. Whether they are aware of these issues yet or struggling to find out what is actually causing them to feel and act out the way they do, the underlying cause is always somewhat the same. That is some form of mental health issue.

If you ask me, a real man is one that is not only in tune with his emotions but knows how to act out on those in a positive way. Someone who will want to help other men in a positive way. Someone who will respect and uphold women to the high standard that they should be. Not demean and degrade them. Not belittle them. Not talk down on other men. Not attack anybody at all. The more we lift up each other around us, the more comfortable the next person will feel to open up and feel that it is OKAY in doing so.

Everybody has their own struggles. Everybody has their own inner battles. We must remember that it can always be worse. You never know what the next person has going on behind closed doors. Maybe the person came off a little rude to you, but maybe they were not even aware they did so because they were so stuck in their own depressed thoughts. What if you had a friendly chat with a stranger and cheered them up to the point where they changed their entire mood around? You never know the power that just a few good words or positive thoughts may bring to somebody.

This is my entry into writing some thoughts of mine. I hope it can help anybody feel a bit more understood or to feel as if they are not alone. Just as I once felt but no longer do. Because you are not alone. I support all men and women alike. I will dive deeper into my thoughts and personal journey and stories as time goes as my true passion in life is sharing and hoping to help others in any way possible.