How Yoga Saved Me

Yoga came into my life at a very important time.

I was twenty years old, freshly moved out and living with my boyfriend, attending university full time, and working four shifts a week at a busy restaurant. It was normal for me to finish a closing shift, swing by McDonalds for a coffee at two in the morning on my way home to study for a few hours before grabbing a couple hours rest and then taking the hour-long c-train to class the following day.

I have no idea how I did it.

Staying busy seemed to work better for my mental health than actually having time to be still, to be with myself and my own thoughts. Because at twenty years old I didn't like myself very much. Low self-esteem issues, anxiety, depression... you know, the usual young-adult angsty stuff.

When school was out for the summer I needed something else to fill that void, and that's when I found yoga. I remember my very first class at the local hot yoga studio down the road from where I lived; the instructor, an older man, led us through a wonderful flow where he told us to lower our "beautiful bellies" to the floor before coming into a cobra pose, how we were to admire our "cute toes" in the mirror during our seated forward fold, and I had never really experienced that kind of blatant, radical self-love before. To openly admire yourself in the mirror? To smile at yourself, to lift your chin proudly, to tell yourself that you're strong? Beautiful?... Happy?

After that first class I was an addict. I was there every day, sometimes twice. The endorphins from the exercise merged the serotonin from the infrared heat to create a powerful concoction of awesomeness that cannot be compared to anything else.

When I moved from Alberta to British Columbia, there wasn't a hot yoga studio near me. So I recreated one in my garage, right next to my giant tortoise enclosure.

I had my friends over where I led them through yoga classes I'd plan ahead of time, complete with playlists to suit the poses I'd selected. It was their first time doing yoga, so I had to give them a great first impression!

My first year in British Columbia was really rough. Transitioning from the endless bright blue skies of Alberta to the constantly overcast and rainy weather of the coast was awful. I could barely drag myself out of bed for work, and when I was there I was a zombie, struggling to perform the most basic tasks. Once home, I'd collapse on the couch and wait for it to be a socially acceptable time to go to bed. I thought something was seriously wrong with me.

And there was. Seasonal Affective Disorder sucks, y'all. I got fancy lights, I took vitamin D, I even went tanning, but nothing really helped.

When we moved from our townhouse to a house-house a couple years later I was chuffed to find a hot yoga studio just ten minutes away. Huzzah! I was back at it, attending pretty much every day, getting my money's worth out of my unlimited membership. And just like that, the side-effects of my SAD were reduced. My mood improved, I had more energy and mental clarity, less memory problems, and I just felt better. The FAR infrared heat, plus the exercise, was just what my brain needed.

About a year into my membership the owners announced they were moving to Costa Rica. I jumped on the opportunity, slamming my resume on their desk the very next day. It took some convincing, but by the time they left they'd hired me as their manager.

When I was newly pregnant with my second child, I decided to get my yoga teaching certification. It was something I had always wanted to do, and, as the manager, the benefits were endless.

Running a business isn't easy. Lucky for me, I had an absolutely incredible team of yogis I knew I could rely on. They're fantastic as what they do, they always go the extra mile, and they are simply wonderful human beings. The studio's been through a lot-- a change of ownership, me leaving on two maternity leaves, and a pandemic. But it's still here, stronger than ever, thanks to the incredible people working every day and the amazing members who show up on their mats.

My favourite part of teaching classes is the creativity. Teaching is a ridiculously creative process. Coming up with interesting and challenging classes, developing playlists, studying up on various other elements interrelated to yoga to continue your students' education, it all adds up. There's so much more to a yoga class than being "good" at yoga (whatever that means), or knowing all the Sanskrit words to the poses, or the muscles being engaged. It's the whole THING-- the right music at the proper volume, the lighting, the tone of voice, the theme through your poses and words, the opening grounding moments, the closing savasana moments...

And put together properly, it's magic.

Not to toot my own horn, but I'm not too shabby with the fitness classes, either. I remember the first fitness class I ever taught... was awful. So bad. I'm surprised my instructors passed me, honestly. But I persevered, I kept trying, and now I have regular members coming to sweat it out with me every Friday night (who wants to exercise on Friday nights?!), even if it's in the middle of a heat wave and the studio's hot AF.

But the BEST part? Helping other people the way that I needed help, all those years ago. I still need it. It helps me helping others, giving them that space to be truly present, to let go of the past, forget about the future, to be with their bodies and their minds. To sweat, to move, to stretch, to have fun, to try something new, to challenge themselves, to relax... it never ends.

So if you've ever thought about giving yoga a try, do it. What have you got to lose? Everyone starts somewhere. You may not think you have the right "body" for yoga, but you do.

It's great for your mental and physical health, reduces stress, can help with arthritis, boost your immune system, and it's FUN!

And now, a video of me doing some goat yoga. Because yes, I'm lucky enough to teach goat yoga, too.

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Thanks for reading! I have a book coming out next August (omg) so feel free to follow me on Twitter, or read my story on how I became a writer!