How to stop masturbation

In a recent T.V symposium on sex related issues, one young participant raised the question to the moderator, "Sir, some people say masturbation is not good for health. Please advise me Sir." The presiding officer asserted, "There is no harm associated with masturbation". So saying, he continued listing out some 'advantages' of masturbation and concluded his talk, saying masturbation if done not frequently, would do no harm, but good for health. He concluded saying that masturbation is the best alternative to sex with a partner because no HIV risk is involved. I had strong objections to that theory. I sincerely wish that my objections should not go unheard and hence I am writing this article for the benefit of young men. A brief reference to Homo sex is also made.

SEX is the greatest gift Nature has given to all living beings.

Every 'living' being just crave for sex with a partner belonging to the opposite sex. In the case of animal beings, only one sex partner will be very dominant over the other. Mostly male partner dominates over female like as in the cases of oxen, cats, dogs etc. But in the case of human beings, the situation is different. Here female is equally, sometimes more dominantly interested in sex, compared to the male partner.

The civilised society has laid down certain very difficult rules for human sex, and this is precisely the reason why woman are subjected to more severe conditions than their counterparts. Hence in the case of human beings man has more responsibility in satisfying the sexual needs of the female partner.

What is sex?

The sexual instinct starts from childhood itself. Female children like to see male organs, touch them and also lick them. Also I have seen some boys describing women's inner parts, sometimes their blood relations too, which they watched while the latter was taking bath or changing inner garments. The height of these habits is, if the parents have sex in the same bed room where the boy is supposed to sleep, (In India this practice is common) the boys will pretend as sleeping and watch his parents' sexual act and describe to his friends in detail the next day.

Once the boy becomes an adult he likes to see girls, talk with them, play hide and seek. While playing, they will touch their secret parts, kiss them and have sexual pleasure. Once puberty has been obtained, the boy or the girl will have certain mysterious feelings which he or she will be unable to explain.

In olden days, marriages would be held long before puberty and hence sex would not have been a problem because once puberty is obtained they would be allowed to have sex.

But nowadays the minimum age of a bridegroom or a bride in common practice is 26. So any youth whether a boy or a girl has to wait for 10 to 12 years after obtaining puberty.

Naturally they resort to alternative methods to obtain sexual pleasure. If they have enough money, they go to prostitutes and if they do not have, they resort to masturbation and if they have some male company and solitude, they resort to homo sexuality. This practice is widely found in girls also and they are called lesbians.

In this article, we are dealing with Males only because male has more responsibility of satisfying the partner.

MASTURBATION means manual stimulation of the genital organs, by his own effort or with the help of the other for getting orgasm which is otherwise known as onanism. This was what the learned chief guest, who was a self-declared sex consultant told "It is not dangerous to health. In fact it is needed to reduce tension and craving for sex." His one more argument was, "it is good to indulge in masturbation since it will reduce sex crimes like raping".The third and the final advantage according to him was, "it will not spread HIV because there is no question of spreading the virus when there is no other partner involved who will be able to pass blood related liquids.".

When a youth asked him, "Sir, may I have masturbation tonight Sir?" he gave the reply in a casual way, "why tonight? You can indulge in masturbation to day after noon itself as soon as you return home" amidst the roaring laughter of the audience.

How does this habit start?

In most of the cases, this habit starts as an accident. When a teen aged boy is in the stage of prime puberty, he is affected by some unknown feelings which he cannot describe. He is very happy in touching the male organs and he often massages it. One fine day, he would find that he gets orgasm due to ejaculation of semen. His pleasure knows no bounds since he has obtained a totally new feeling which he has not imagined so far. Afterwards, he is waiting for another opportunity to have masturbation and in course of time, it becomes a regular habit. Bad company of friends make the process very quick. Reading Porno books, watching porno T.V shows make one indulge more and more in this evil habit.

What are the evils of masturbation?

In course of time, he finds that the pleasure will be gradually reduced and finally giving no pleasure at all. He will also lose his virility. He would face premature ejaculation leaving the female partner totally dissatisfied. His reproductive capacity will come to a close as early as possible. He might get children as assured by the above speaker, but his married life would be totally useless. His wife who has more sexual desire as described above will be totally upset and on several occasions such dis-satisfied women becoming disloyal to their conjugal partners.

Psychologically also he will lose all his confidence. He will not be able to compete with anybody whether in office or in family. In short, he would be virtually a dead man, showing some talents outwardly but total weakness internally. I know a well-educated computer engineer, handsome and well versed in computer applications but very weak in sexual activity. This article is meant for young people like him.

Homo sex has all the above evils in addition to the fact that partners are open to the risk of HIV infection. In fact origin of HIV is reported to begin with Homo sex only. In so many countries homo sex is legalised and so it is advisable to stop the criticism except pointing out the physical, medical and psychological adversities as listed above.

What are the ways and means to avoid masturbation?

Nature has given the pleasure of sex mainly for re-production of species which can be obtained only through proper relationship with the opposite sex. But nowadays, due to the population explosion several methods to stop re-production like condom, contraceptive drugs and vasectomy procedures have come in vogue. On the whole, there is a sharp decline in birth rate. This may be an act of Nature in keeping its balance. But people have to maintain the interest and involvement in marital sex to produce healthy children. At least the children who come to Earth by birth should be hale and hearty.

From young age, the male children should be properly trained in moral education. Parents should exercise control to avoid their children watching porno movies and reading porno literature. They should freely discuss with their children sex issues. Schools may include sex education in their syllabus.

Girls need not be separated from boys (as in some parts of India). They should be allowed to move freely, of course under parental and teachers' supervision.

Training in moral education should be accompanied by training in Yoga and meditation. They should also be trained to live in groups having high moral values. Parents should take care to get their wards married at the right age when their sexual desire is at its peak. Their interest in sex also should be a factor for consideration in addition to other considerations like education, job and earning capacity.

Artificial sex pleasure is a great menace threatening the future of present day youth. They should take necessary steps against this practice. This will avoid any possible catastrophe on a future date.

DR B.Sathyanarayanan,M.Sc (Physics), CAIIB, Ph.D in psychological counselling was a senior manager of a major nationalised bank and got Voluntary Retirement from Service in the year 1997 at the age of 50 with an intention to serve in the academic, literal and social fields. He is aged 70 now and his services are as follows: He started SPOKEN ENGLISH course and hundreds of students were benefited by it. Several students are getting the coaching at a very low cost because of the support extended by him. A very interesting aspect is that, students are coming from far off places and there is no discrimination of caste or religion and the training includes Muslim and Christian students also. Now he plans to give coaching to failed and average students at a very low cost. A book is also written by him at a very low cost to help the teachers who want to teach English.Because his main subject is Physics, he is teaching Physics as a visiting Professor at Sri Sankara Arts & Science College, Enathur Kanchipuram. His favorite subjects include Nuclear Physics, Theory of relativity, Quantum Mechanics,He is a creative writer and is publishing the magazines ULAGA TAMIL ARANGAM In Tamil and PHILOSOPHY OF SCIENCE in English. Both contain excellent articles on Philosophy,Science, religion, poems, short stories and plays in Tamil and English respectively. He got a training in HIV/AIDS intervention with the Christian Medical College, Vellore. He started the N.G.O "SAGODHAR" (Society for Advocacy and Global Organisation Dedicated for HIV/AIDS Research). He is associated with several other N.G.Os working in this field and he is assisting HIV/AIDS affected men, women & children. He is giving free psychological counselling on these issues