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How to Self Care

Sorry, but buying ​rose quartz and doing a face mask isn't enough.

By Khalia MoniquePublished 4 years ago 3 min read
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"Self-care". Illustrations by Paru Ramesh

Although a face mask can feel like a relief from the pressures you're facing in life, it is not the cure-all for your unhappiness. Here are five practices I used to nip my unhealthy habits in the bud.

1). Self-Reflection:

Self-reflection can be done in many different ways. You can write it down in a journal or as a note in your phone. If you don't like to write you can even just sit and think about yourself. Some questions I ask myself when I self-reflect are: How am I feeling? Why do I feel this way? What do I like about myself? What do I want to change? How can I go about changing those things? Have I changed the behaviors I didn't like before or am I continuing self-deprecating behaviors? What are my goals? What is blocking me from those goals? How have my stress levels been lately? etc.

2). Morning Mantra:

I can feel you rolling your eyes but hear me out. I also was skeptical about what saying words could do if you don't believe them. But that's the thing. It's when I don't believe that I'm beautiful that I need to hear those words come out of my mouth the most. Telling myself every morning, "I'm beautiful, I am smart, and I can handle anything today throws at me," actually helps me to believe in myself. Fake it 'til you make it, right?

3). Drink water:

I am a person who convinced myself I hated water. No matter how much I was told that I would feel better once I drank more water, I still refused. That is until after one of my self-reflections I had to admit to myself that if I truly loved myself, and my body, I needed to be treating it better. That meant eating healthier and working out more, yes, but mainly it meant forcing myself to drink water every day. Not just when I was working out or because it was hot, but every single day. And multiple glasses of water too, not just one and done. I hated to admit it but I felt better. I felt lighter and my skin felt better.

4). Speak with someone:

If you are like me, you love helping others with their problem but will hold your problems in until it's 12:25 AM on a Tuesday and you're curled up in a ball crying for a reason you don't quite know. It doesn't have to be this way. There are people that care about you. Find a confidant in a family member or a friend and let them into those parts of you that you keep hidden. Find someone you can truly rant to. Someone who can give you advice when necessary but will also keep their opinions to themselves when all you want is to be listened to.

If you cannot find that person or feel uncomfortable with the idea of opening up to the people around you there are therapy apps you can use for a fraction of the price of therapy, such as TalkSpace and BetterHelp. These apps will connect you with a licensed therapist that can help you to deal with life and all the crazy things it likes to throw at you.

5). Forgive yourself:

Forgiving yourself can take time, but it is essential in loving yourself. And that's what self care is, isn't it? Self care is putting love and care into yourself to become the best version of yourself. Forgiving yourself means not punishing yourself for the mistakes you made in the past. Let the wrong person influence you when you got to college? That's okay, you needed that time to realize you deserve more. Made stupid mistakes as a teenager? That's fine, you needed those years as a warning for who you don't want to be. There is always a chance for you to grow and to change. You can't let your past hold you back from that.

Use these tips to love yourself. You can continue with the mask and rub your rose quartz for confidence, but remember that healthy self care means checking in with yourself. Care for your inside as much as your outside and you will extraordinarily better.

self care
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About the Creator

Khalia Monique

Young Black female writer. I just want to share my passions with the world.

Like what I have to say? Check out itskhaliamonique.com for more of my stories.

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